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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,223 --> 00:00:03,624 Back in the day, a lot could be said about my crazy family. 2 00:00:03,994 --> 00:00:05,364 The one thing that couldn't be denied 3 00:00:05,399 --> 00:00:07,355 was that we were bad drivers. 4 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,925 But, despite the highway havoc that we wreaked 5 00:00:09,993 --> 00:00:12,494 and the fender benders that followed us wherever we went, 6 00:00:12,563 --> 00:00:14,396 no one was more psyched to get behind the wheel 7 00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:15,497 than my brother, Barry. 8 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,798 When he turned 16, 9 00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,166 couldn't wait to hit the open road 10 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:19,835 and never look back. 11 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,936 It's jingling. 12 00:00:21,038 --> 00:00:21,837 It's keys! 13 00:00:21,905 --> 00:00:23,472 Until my mom put the brakes 14 00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:24,539 on his automotive dreams. 15 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,740 What the hell is this? 16 00:00:25,843 --> 00:00:26,942 It's a locket. 17 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,845 It's got my picture inside 18 00:00:29,913 --> 00:00:32,681 so you can always have your mother near your heart. 19 00:00:32,749 --> 00:00:34,182 And so, when I turned 16, 20 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,751 my mom's gift to me was hardly a surprise. 21 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,955 - It's jingling. - Jingling means keys. 22 00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,023 It was the sterling-silver Mom locket 23 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,692 that all the Goldberg boys got. 24 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,026 I put my picture in there 25 00:00:45,095 --> 00:00:47,596 so you can always have your mama near your heart. 26 00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:49,798 Yes! He got the worst gift, too. 27 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,967 I love it. Thank you, Mama. 28 00:00:52,035 --> 00:00:53,635 Wait. That's your reaction? 29 00:00:53,704 --> 00:00:56,204 You get a garbage locket of Mom instead of a car, 30 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,305 and you appreciate it? 31 00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:58,940 Yeah, I'm good with not getting a car. 32 00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:00,642 Or driving in general. You get it. 33 00:01:00,744 --> 00:01:01,476 No! 34 00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:03,078 I don't get it at all! 35 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,679 I've got no sense of direction, 36 00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:06,882 I have bad depth perception due to my lazy eye, 37 00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:08,783 and I'm easily startled by birds. 38 00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,085 So you're just not gonna drive? 39 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,520 Yeah, I'm not so much a driver 40 00:01:11,622 --> 00:01:13,855 as the guy who sits behind the driver in the backseat. 41 00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:15,724 - You mean a rich guy? - Exactly. 42 00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:18,193 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have play practice. 43 00:01:18,262 --> 00:01:19,628 Father, go fetch your driving pants, 44 00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:21,429 which are just regular pants you refuse to wear. 45 00:01:21,532 --> 00:01:23,932 Refusing to drive baffled my whole family, 46 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,767 but no one more than Barry. 47 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,235 Back when he got his license, 48 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,170 the dude trademarked his own dance. 49 00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:30,572 ♪ Yeah, that's right ♪ 50 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,640 ♪ Barry's driving ♪ 51 00:01:31,742 --> 00:01:32,641 ♪ Who's in charge? ♪ 52 00:01:32,743 --> 00:01:33,675 ♪ I'm in charge ♪ 53 00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:35,510 ♪ That's right, uh-huh ♪ 54 00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:36,912 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 55 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,647 Unreal. I raised a moron. 56 00:01:38,715 --> 00:01:40,015 But, lucky for me, 57 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,083 I got the perfect birthday present that year, 58 00:01:42,152 --> 00:01:44,119 the gift of never driving. 59 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,788 Stop it. My scrumptious little baby-man 60 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,491 does not have to learn to drive until he's absolutely ready. 61 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,793 That's a no! Victory-dance time! 62 00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:52,961 ♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪ 63 00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:54,963 ♪ Uh-uh-uh-uh, yeah ♪ 64 00:01:55,065 --> 00:01:56,731 ♪ That's right, I'm not driving ♪ 65 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,334 Hey! Stop copying my driving dance! 66 00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,369 I'm not. It's the not-driving dance. 67 00:02:01,471 --> 00:02:02,571 There's no such thing! 68 00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:04,339 I'm raising complete morons. 69 00:02:04,408 --> 00:02:05,707 It's getting hard to argue. 70 00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:06,942 - It's like this. - No, it's like this. 71 00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:08,510 If you're gonna copy me, at least do it the right way. 72 00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:10,745 It's my own thing, dude. Face it, this dance is mine. 73 00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,249 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 74 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:17,619 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 76 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,489 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 77 00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:25,594 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 78 00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:28,396 It was November 29, 1980-something. 79 00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:30,231 The college fair was in full swing, 80 00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:32,567 and my sister wanted no part of it. 81 00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:34,703 Ugh, look at all these bozos 82 00:02:34,805 --> 00:02:35,870 and their lame clubs. 83 00:02:35,973 --> 00:02:36,972 The whole point of going to college 84 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,273 is to be left alone. 85 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,041 I thought it was more, like, to learn and grow 86 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,276 and make lifelong friendships. 87 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,611 Meh. I've got enough friends. 88 00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:43,311 Do you? 89 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,179 Hey, either of you 90 00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:45,347 interested in Ultimate Frisbee? 91 00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:47,449 Are you interested in picking a sport with a ball? 92 00:02:48,719 --> 00:02:49,851 Maybe you should join a club 93 00:02:49,953 --> 00:02:51,286 for freshmen who hate everything. 94 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,554 Great. Where's that table? 95 00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:53,388 Seriously, 96 00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:54,522 you're a total downer. 97 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:55,790 You, like, pooh-pooh everything. 98 00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,292 I don't, like, pooh-pooh everything. 99 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,160 Just offer me something cool, and I'm there. 100 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,996 Looking for something cool, eh? 101 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:01,863 Lucky for you, 102 00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:02,831 your RA Srini 103 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,299 has the answer, ladies. 104 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,535 Karaoke and togas? Pass. 105 00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,104 I see. Well, if you change your mind, 106 00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:10,405 feel free to drop by and RSVP. 107 00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:11,640 Here's my RSVP. 108 00:03:11,742 --> 00:03:12,307 Pbht! 109 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,375 Guess that's an RSVP 110 00:03:13,477 --> 00:03:14,409 for just one, then. 111 00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,677 Wait, you're going? Why? 112 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:16,678 'Cause it sounds fun, 113 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,346 and, unlike you, I, like, like fun. 114 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,315 I, like, like fun, too! 115 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,983 You should've seen me in high school. 116 00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:23,018 I was, like, the funnest. 117 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,019 Ow! 118 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,787 Hey, isn't there some weird field 119 00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,022 that you can play in? 120 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:27,889 Hi, Craig. 121 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,425 Gah! Barry?! 122 00:03:30,527 --> 00:03:32,060 Hey, I drank all your 5 Alive. 123 00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,161 What are you doing here? 124 00:03:33,263 --> 00:03:34,362 Hello?! 125 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,697 It's my college tour! 126 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,799 I told you like 10 times! 127 00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:39,467 I knew that, silly. 128 00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:41,036 I just lost track of the days 129 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,104 with all the awesome parties and whatnot. 130 00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:44,539 There's so many parties. 131 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,807 Which are all totally real, 132 00:03:45,909 --> 00:03:47,776 because I am killing it here. 133 00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:51,212 Dude, this weekend is gonna be the stuff of legend! 134 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,347 So, where's the first rager at? 135 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,115 But Erica only knew of one, 136 00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,784 that she already passed on. 137 00:03:55,886 --> 00:03:58,620 Srini! Nice toga, my man! 138 00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:00,622 I changed my mind about your kareoga thing. 139 00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:01,389 Did you, now? 140 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,590 See, my brother's here, 141 00:04:02,693 --> 00:04:04,626 and I kinda told him that I'm the queen of college, 142 00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:07,228 so you can see why I now have a sudden interest 143 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,763 in your crappy party. 144 00:04:08,865 --> 00:04:10,198 Just party. Not crappy. 145 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,367 That is the single worst RSVP ever. 146 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,768 And it's been declined. 147 00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:15,236 What? You can't decline! 148 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,305 You're my RA. You have to include me. 149 00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:18,573 Farewell. 150 00:04:18,642 --> 00:04:20,442 So that's a yes? 151 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,344 As Erica was realizing she'd driven everyone away, 152 00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:25,480 my dad was trying to get me to drive. 153 00:04:25,549 --> 00:04:27,182 Hey! My "Burger Time"! 154 00:04:27,284 --> 00:04:28,483 Okay, moron. 155 00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:31,152 Lose the disturbing "Mom" necklace, take these keys. 156 00:04:31,254 --> 00:04:32,420 I'm teaching you how to drive. 157 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,056 Ooooooh. I'd love to, but the ol' ball 'n' chain 158 00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:36,791 says I'll learn when I'm ready, nomasayin'? 159 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:37,992 I say you're ready right now. 160 00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:39,494 But what about all the horrible things 161 00:04:39,563 --> 00:04:41,196 Mom says will happen if I don't drive good? 162 00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:42,297 What horrible things? 163 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,532 I could get a stop sign through the heart! 164 00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:46,034 Or a guard rail through the heart! 165 00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:47,869 Or a mailbox through the heart! 166 00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:50,739 Why are all these things going through your heart? That's not even possible. 167 00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:52,874 Tell that to Mom's friend Sheila's nephew. 168 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,743 He was driving at dangerous speeds, 169 00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:57,979 and he flipped his car and got a mailbox... 170 00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,514 Okay, you gotta stop listening 171 00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:01,483 to these crazy things your mom tells you. 172 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,084 So rabid pigeons won't peck my eyes out 173 00:05:03,186 --> 00:05:04,185 through the sunroof? 174 00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:05,720 What is it with you and birds anyway?! 175 00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:06,821 They're just so cocky. 176 00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:09,090 So what if they can fly? I can do stuff, too. 177 00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:10,425 Like driving? 178 00:05:10,494 --> 00:05:12,694 I bet you that would really make the birdies jealous. 179 00:05:12,763 --> 00:05:14,562 Yeah, right. Like birds know what a car is. 180 00:05:14,664 --> 00:05:16,030 Get in the car! 181 00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:18,933 With that, my dad left me with no choice but to drive. 182 00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:21,970 The only problem was, I'd have to get in the car first. 183 00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:23,037 I-I can't do it. 184 00:05:23,106 --> 00:05:24,839 You can and you will. Get in! 185 00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:29,043 My son's a moron! Can't you see? 186 00:05:29,146 --> 00:05:30,345 Go around! 187 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,946 He's a moron! Go around! 188 00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:33,782 Mom said I don't have to drive! 189 00:05:33,884 --> 00:05:35,784 - Well, I say you do. Get in. - No! 190 00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:36,651 - Get in! - No! 191 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:37,485 - Get in! - No! 192 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:38,153 - Get in! - No! 193 00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:38,820 - Get in! - No! 194 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:39,521 - Get in! - No! 195 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,155 - Get in! - No! 196 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:40,889 - Get in! - No! 197 00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:42,423 - Get in! Get in! - No! No! 198 00:05:42,526 --> 00:05:43,358 - Get in! - No! 199 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,759 - Get in! - No! 200 00:05:44,828 --> 00:05:46,995 See, what'd I tell ya? 201 00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:48,396 Nothing bad's gonna happen. 202 00:05:48,498 --> 00:05:49,497 Aah! 203 00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,135 Just remember, I was good with the locket. 204 00:05:54,204 --> 00:05:55,770 As I drove for the last time, 205 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,207 Barry was gearing up for his first college rager. 206 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,108 So?! 207 00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:01,376 Are we ready to rock or what? 208 00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:04,045 Um, turns out that party is super lame, 209 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,147 but I'm gonna find us something super college-y 210 00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:06,981 and great for us. 211 00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:07,982 Say no more. 212 00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,284 I'll ask around and find the fun. 213 00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:10,485 What? How are you gonna do that? 214 00:06:10,554 --> 00:06:12,287 With this here bag of college! 215 00:06:12,389 --> 00:06:13,621 - Bag of wha'? - College! 216 00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:16,191 In it is everything you need to kick ass here. 217 00:06:17,561 --> 00:06:18,426 Jean shorts. 218 00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:19,761 Tie-dye poncho. 219 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,162 Trick dog with leash. 220 00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:21,963 Rasta hat. 221 00:06:22,032 --> 00:06:23,131 Fake $100 bill, 222 00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:25,433 attached to a quarter mile of string. 223 00:06:25,502 --> 00:06:26,067 Foam hand. 224 00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:26,968 Sacks to hacky. 225 00:06:27,037 --> 00:06:27,802 Stunt kite. 226 00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:28,770 Oyster crackers. 227 00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:29,771 Unicycle! 228 00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:31,206 A Snoopy snow-cone machine! 229 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,273 Boomerang! 230 00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:33,174 Pogo stick. 231 00:06:33,243 --> 00:06:34,008 Devil sticks. 232 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:34,809 Drum sticks. 233 00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:35,443 Chopsticks. 234 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:36,177 Beef sticks. 235 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:36,845 Pickup sticks. 236 00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:37,812 A stick I found. 237 00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:38,813 Okay, stop. 238 00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,248 This bag of crap will not help you. 239 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,051 Trust me, all you need to do is put yourself out there 240 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,620 to show the other attractive party-minded boys and girls 241 00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:46,754 that you mean business. 242 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,357 Dude, that is not how college works. 243 00:06:49,426 --> 00:06:51,159 That is, unless you have sweet dreads 244 00:06:51,261 --> 00:06:52,126 and an invisible dog. 245 00:06:52,229 --> 00:06:53,261 Check it out, 246 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,729 mons and lady mons. 247 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,264 My dog be jammin'! 248 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,399 Hey, uh, I already told you, put this crap away 249 00:06:58,468 --> 00:07:00,568 before you embarrass yourself, or worse, me. 250 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,470 Look! His dog is invisible. 251 00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:03,872 His name's Butterscotch. 252 00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,007 He's part Beagle and part not real. 253 00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:07,675 I rescued him from a kill shelter, 254 00:07:07,777 --> 00:07:09,377 although I feel like he rescued me. 255 00:07:10,686 --> 00:07:10,686 - Aww! - Aww! 256 00:07:11,114 --> 00:07:12,180 Okay, what is happening? 257 00:07:12,282 --> 00:07:13,815 Why are you engaging with this idiot? 258 00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:16,050 Ignore her. She's not a dog person. 259 00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:17,085 Clearly. 260 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,486 Oh, yeah, I'm the crazy one. 261 00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:19,420 There is no dog. 262 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,722 Ow! 263 00:07:20,824 --> 00:07:23,024 I know that was intentional! 264 00:07:23,093 --> 00:07:25,660 As Erica was hit by my brother's instant success, 265 00:07:25,729 --> 00:07:28,496 my mom was about to be struck by some bad news. 266 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:29,898 There's my handsome men. 267 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,966 I just snickered up a batch of doodles. 268 00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,401 Should you tell her or should I? 269 00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:35,536 Let me take this. 270 00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:37,205 I was out teaching him how to drive. 271 00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:38,473 The [bleep] you say? 272 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:39,807 Good for you, kiddo! 273 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,509 No, no. It was not so good. 274 00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:42,744 As a matter of fact, it was worse 275 00:07:42,846 --> 00:07:44,045 than any of us could have imagined. 276 00:07:44,147 --> 00:07:45,046 I ruined the car! 277 00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:46,347 He ruined the car? 278 00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:47,782 - Not great. - Oh, my God. 279 00:07:47,851 --> 00:07:50,251 Please tell me you made him wear a seatbelt. 280 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,053 Technically, I didn't get that far. 281 00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:54,923 Doesn't matter. You always wear a seatbelt. 282 00:07:54,991 --> 00:07:56,524 - Why? - Because of the road pirates. 283 00:07:56,626 --> 00:07:58,259 What the hell are road pirates? 284 00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:00,461 They're like sea pirates, but instead of other ships, 285 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,363 they plunder mid-sized sedans and hatchbacks. 286 00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:03,698 That's right. Without a belt, 287 00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,199 they'll just reach into the window 288 00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:06,434 and yank you out of the car. 289 00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:07,602 What are these words?! 290 00:08:07,671 --> 00:08:08,970 What are you teaching him when I'm not around? 291 00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:10,838 The good news is, I've officially decided 292 00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:12,473 I'm not ready to drive this year. 293 00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:14,976 Adam, you are my little cookie. 294 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,078 My scrumptious oatmeal-nibble man. 295 00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:19,847 If you're not ready for the next three decades, so be it. 296 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,382 Your little cookie thanks you, Mama. 297 00:08:21,484 --> 00:08:23,151 Here's a little crumb. Mwah. 298 00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:24,352 Oh, I could just eat you up. 299 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,087 It's easy, 'cause I'm a soft-baked cookie. 300 00:08:26,189 --> 00:08:27,555 Oh, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom! 301 00:08:27,657 --> 00:08:28,823 Nom, nom, nom, nom! 302 00:08:28,892 --> 00:08:29,791 Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom! 303 00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:31,859 - Oh... - Just go! 304 00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,795 Nom, nom! 305 00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:35,029 What the hell did you do, Murray?! 306 00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:36,431 I finally agree with you. 307 00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:37,999 That kid should never drive, 308 00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:39,901 and he should stay your little baby forever. 309 00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,936 No! Adam needs to drive! 310 00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:43,571 Then what's with the cookie business?! 311 00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:45,006 And the road pirates? 312 00:08:45,075 --> 00:08:47,709 I spent the last five years scaring Adam with my stories 313 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,011 so he'd be a super terrified, 314 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,212 very cautious driver. 315 00:08:51,314 --> 00:08:53,181 Now's the time for you to swoop in 316 00:08:53,249 --> 00:08:55,683 and call him a moron until he learns to drive. 317 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,285 Wait, that's your plan? 318 00:08:57,387 --> 00:08:58,886 Worked perfectly for Erica and Barry. 319 00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:00,388 I don't know what went wrong here. 320 00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:01,556 I have a theory. 321 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,758 Your stories didn't teach him to be cautious. 322 00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:06,961 They just terrified a very gullible, anxious child. 323 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,931 No one wants your objective opinions based on facts, Dad. 324 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,299 We'll handle it, Al. 325 00:09:11,368 --> 00:09:13,801 With that, my parents shut down my grandfather, 326 00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:15,570 who went upstairs and bribed me to drive. 327 00:09:15,672 --> 00:09:16,971 Okey dokey, it's happening. 328 00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:18,439 We'll see you in a few hours. 329 00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:19,707 What? Wh-Where are you going? 330 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,876 To take the kid out driving, just like we agreed. 331 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,111 Uh, no. 332 00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:25,446 You had your diver's license taken away, remember? 333 00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:27,415 So? Doesn't mean I can't still drive. 334 00:09:27,517 --> 00:09:28,983 That's exactly what it means. 335 00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:30,685 Wait, are you still driving? 336 00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:33,054 Sure. How else do you think I get here every day? 337 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,089 The bus. You told us you took the bus. 338 00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:37,492 Why would I do that? I got a car. 339 00:09:37,594 --> 00:09:38,860 Did you know about this? 340 00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:40,561 Of course. We have crazy adventures every week. 341 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,729 How do you think we get there? 342 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:42,897 Oh, my God, Dad! 343 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,999 It's not safe for you behind the wheel! 344 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,734 You crashed into a drive-through! 345 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,569 What crash? It was a nudge. 346 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,238 We both know it wasn't a nudge. 347 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,439 I nudged it. 348 00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:53,241 In fact, I don't even think I touched it. 349 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,742 This is becoming a whole thing. 350 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:55,977 I'm gonna rain check, 351 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,845 but we can pick this up again in a few years. 352 00:09:57,947 --> 00:09:59,981 No! No rain checks! 353 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,050 Your hero Pops is gonna teach you how to drive. 354 00:10:02,152 --> 00:10:03,084 End of story! 355 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,219 Finally! Things are looking up. 356 00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:06,454 But we're coming, too. 357 00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:07,822 Nope! They sucked again. 358 00:10:08,877 --> 00:10:12,212 It was Barry's first day at college, and people were noticing. 359 00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:13,716 Turns out being overly confident 360 00:10:13,818 --> 00:10:14,717 and unembarrassable 361 00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:16,219 got him mocked in high school, 362 00:10:16,287 --> 00:10:19,188 but in college, he quickly became the life of the party. 363 00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:22,058 Gah! It's been three hours. Can we just go? 364 00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:23,426 For sure. We got a ton of stuff to do. 365 00:10:23,528 --> 00:10:24,560 Stuff? What Stuff? 366 00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:26,095 Delta Nu has a pig roast, 367 00:10:26,197 --> 00:10:28,831 and I got invited to a kareoga party. 368 00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:31,234 Wait, isn't that in your dorm? 369 00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:33,669 Uh, yeah, but no one's going to that weird-ass party. 370 00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,405 Yo! It's my boy Srini! 371 00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:36,906 Question about your party... 372 00:10:37,008 --> 00:10:38,174 No, no, no! No questions! 373 00:10:38,276 --> 00:10:39,809 Wait, you know this girl, Big Tasty? 374 00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:40,843 She's my sister. 375 00:10:40,945 --> 00:10:42,245 Ah, she sucks at first, 376 00:10:42,313 --> 00:10:43,279 but you'll come to love her. 377 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,048 We're currently still in the sucking phase. 378 00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:46,582 Oh, my God! What world am I living in? 379 00:10:46,651 --> 00:10:48,451 Fine. Since you're related to Big Tasty, 380 00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:51,087 I'm willing to overlook your extremely hurtful words 381 00:10:51,189 --> 00:10:52,355 and re-invite you to my soiree. 382 00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:53,956 You hear that, Erica? 383 00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:56,225 He's gonna ignore how terrible you are. 384 00:10:56,327 --> 00:10:57,627 Forget it! You can just go. 385 00:10:57,729 --> 00:10:59,495 If some stupid party is more important 386 00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:00,930 than your own flesh and blood, 387 00:11:01,032 --> 00:11:01,798 then have a blast. 388 00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:02,999 I will! Thanks! 389 00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:04,600 Who wants snow cones? 390 00:11:04,702 --> 00:11:06,002 Ow! 391 00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:08,571 Okay, now I know you're clearly doing it on purpose! 392 00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:09,939 While Erica felt burned, 393 00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:11,941 I was the one hoping not to crash. 394 00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,843 You're doing great, kiddo. 395 00:11:13,912 --> 00:11:15,945 Just keep going on Rydal Road. 396 00:11:16,047 --> 00:11:18,648 No, Dad. Rydal Road intersects the train tracks. 397 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:19,615 Wait, a train's coming?! 398 00:11:19,717 --> 00:11:21,884 - No! - Maybe, maybe. 399 00:11:21,953 --> 00:11:23,319 Look for the flashing red lights 400 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,321 and the up-and-down-gate thingy. 401 00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:27,957 Oy vey, Bev. There is no train. 402 00:11:28,059 --> 00:11:31,094 Essie Karp's pool man thought the same thing until... Boom! 403 00:11:31,196 --> 00:11:33,463 His truck was T-boned by a commuter train. 404 00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:35,898 Now he holds the skimmer with a homemade clamp. 405 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,300 Homemade clamp? 406 00:11:37,402 --> 00:11:38,501 It's attached to his shoulder. 407 00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:40,136 He opens and shuts it 408 00:11:40,205 --> 00:11:41,804 with wires he keeps in his mouth. 409 00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:44,207 No arm part? Just a clamp and a shoulder? 410 00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,808 Pulleys. It works very well. 411 00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:47,743 Wouldn't he just choose a different career 412 00:11:47,846 --> 00:11:49,145 if he had a homemade clamp? 413 00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:52,215 Skimming is his life, Murray. It's what he knows. 414 00:11:52,317 --> 00:11:53,916 It's what he knows! 415 00:11:54,018 --> 00:11:55,084 Everything you're saying right now 416 00:11:55,186 --> 00:11:56,519 is very distracting. 417 00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:58,855 Wait, if the clamp gets wet, doesn't it get rusty? 418 00:11:58,957 --> 00:12:00,656 Of course it gets rusty. 419 00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,291 He works around water and metal. 420 00:12:02,393 --> 00:12:04,293 That's why he wears a bag over the clamp. 421 00:12:04,362 --> 00:12:07,497 Ah, come on, there's gotta be a better way to clean pools 422 00:12:07,599 --> 00:12:09,432 than a homemade clamp with a bag over it. 423 00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:10,766 He's a very determined man! 424 00:12:10,869 --> 00:12:12,702 Please drop it already. 425 00:12:12,804 --> 00:12:14,337 You know he cleans gutters in the fall? 426 00:12:14,439 --> 00:12:16,072 He just swaps in a scooper for the clamp. 427 00:12:16,174 --> 00:12:17,573 Scoop? What kind of scooper? 428 00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:20,109 He scoops with a homemade ladle. 429 00:12:20,178 --> 00:12:22,512 He scoops out all the gutters. 430 00:12:22,614 --> 00:12:25,214 So he's scooping gutters with a homemade ladle? 431 00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:27,116 -He scoops and skims! -You expect me to believe that? 432 00:12:27,185 --> 00:12:29,485 He scoops in the fall and skims in the summer! Scoops and skims. 433 00:12:29,587 --> 00:12:31,154 ♪ So, come on ♪ 434 00:12:31,222 --> 00:12:36,459 ♪ Take a bottle, shake it up ♪ 435 00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:41,597 ♪ Break the bubble, break it up ♪ 436 00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:43,266 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 437 00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:45,234 Enough with the sugar and the pouring! 438 00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:46,235 Turn it down! 439 00:12:46,304 --> 00:12:47,837 Wow, you're, like, really harshing 440 00:12:47,906 --> 00:12:49,071 on Def Leppard right now. 441 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:50,139 I can't believe you're actually going 442 00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:51,174 to that dumb party. 443 00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:52,842 Totally, and I'm, like, super bummed 444 00:12:52,944 --> 00:12:54,644 you're not gonna be there. 445 00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,445 Well, you don't have to be sarcastic about it. 446 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:59,215 I'm, like, not. This is just how I talk. 447 00:12:59,317 --> 00:13:00,650 Okay, screw this! 448 00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:03,452 There's no way I'll let my brother be better at college than me. 449 00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:07,623 It's time to show 'em how it's done. 450 00:13:07,725 --> 00:13:12,195 ♪ I once was lost ♪ 451 00:13:12,263 --> 00:13:14,163 So Erica would prove she could kill it, 452 00:13:14,232 --> 00:13:16,732 by literally murdering all the fun out of the party. 453 00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:25,474 ♪ Was blind, but now I seeeee ♪ 454 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,881 Oooookay! 455 00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:35,084 Let's keep this party going! Who's up next? 456 00:13:35,186 --> 00:13:36,552 I was gonna sing The Go-Go's, 457 00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:38,788 but I didn't realize this party is religious-themed. 458 00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:39,989 What? No. 459 00:13:40,058 --> 00:13:42,058 That's just a beautiful song that showcases my voice. 460 00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:43,960 Oh. Job well done, then. 461 00:13:44,028 --> 00:13:45,962 Oh, she's not being mean. That's just how she talks. 462 00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:48,030 No, this time, it was totally meant to be mean. 463 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,133 Come on, Erica, don't go! 464 00:13:51,236 --> 00:13:52,201 Come on. 465 00:13:52,303 --> 00:13:53,202 What's the point? 466 00:13:53,271 --> 00:13:54,470 I can't win here. 467 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:55,771 What am I supposed to do... 468 00:13:55,873 --> 00:13:57,240 Use your stupid bag of college? 469 00:13:57,342 --> 00:13:58,241 This is nuts. 470 00:13:58,343 --> 00:13:59,942 Hey, mon, I'm Barry Goldberg. 471 00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:01,477 I have a see-through dog, 472 00:14:01,546 --> 00:14:03,312 and I ride a unicycle with a stick. 473 00:14:03,381 --> 00:14:05,281 Or how about a Snoopy snow cone 474 00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:07,516 while I strap on breakdancing pants 475 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,885 and wear this captain's hat for some reason? 476 00:14:09,988 --> 00:14:11,053 Okay, when you use them all at once, 477 00:14:11,155 --> 00:14:11,721 you just look silly. 478 00:14:12,624 --> 00:14:13,723 Don't you get it, dude? 479 00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:14,890 No one likes me here. 480 00:14:14,993 --> 00:14:16,459 I don't even like me here. 481 00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:17,560 Then it's time you show them 482 00:14:17,629 --> 00:14:19,095 the Erica we all knew back home. 483 00:14:19,163 --> 00:14:19,929 How? 484 00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:21,764 High school was so easy. 485 00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:23,833 I didn't even have to try to make friends. 486 00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:26,269 I get it. It's new, and it's scary. 487 00:14:26,371 --> 00:14:28,437 But I guarantee, if you put yourself out there, 488 00:14:28,539 --> 00:14:30,473 everyone will love the real Erica Goldberg. 489 00:14:30,541 --> 00:14:32,742 How do I introduce everyone to the real me? 490 00:14:32,844 --> 00:14:34,543 Mmmm, I got a plan. 491 00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:35,978 Murray: So he's scooping. 492 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,146 Beverly: He scoops. 493 00:14:37,215 --> 00:14:39,782 I'm sorry, what's you're saying, science fiction! 494 00:14:39,884 --> 00:14:41,384 You just made all this crap up. 495 00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:43,085 - I didn't. I... - Oh, yeah, you did. 496 00:14:43,187 --> 00:14:44,620 I'm not that creative. 497 00:14:44,689 --> 00:14:47,423 Oh, yeah, scooping with a ladle, I'd argue, is very creative. 498 00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,292 Listen, listen. Listen to me. 499 00:14:49,394 --> 00:14:51,160 Please drop it already! 500 00:14:51,262 --> 00:14:52,261 It's doubters like you 501 00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:53,963 that make him want to skim harder. 502 00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:55,831 Turns out Pops was right. 503 00:14:55,933 --> 00:14:57,900 My dad's nagging pressure to make me drive, 504 00:14:58,002 --> 00:15:00,436 coupled with my mom's constant car-safety stories, 505 00:15:00,538 --> 00:15:02,705 weren't exactly prepping me for the road. 506 00:15:02,807 --> 00:15:03,973 I was in full panic mode. 507 00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:06,042 Stop talking about clamps and pool men. 508 00:15:06,144 --> 00:15:08,010 Here come the train tracks. What do I do?! 509 00:15:08,112 --> 00:15:09,111 Just drive, moron. 510 00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:11,213 He's right. I am a moron. Grab the wheel. 511 00:15:11,316 --> 00:15:15,284 No! Ignore your dad and the pool-guy story. 512 00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:17,119 I don't see flashing lights or gates lowering. 513 00:15:17,221 --> 00:15:17,987 What if it's broken? 514 00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:19,855 Just punch it, kiddo. 515 00:15:19,957 --> 00:15:23,859 Baaaaaaaalls! 516 00:15:27,899 --> 00:15:28,831 You did it! 517 00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:29,832 He did it! 518 00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:31,734 I did it! You were right, Pops. 519 00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:32,868 This whole driving thing isn't so... 520 00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:44,313 Well, that was a little more than a nudge. 521 00:15:45,355 --> 00:15:47,794 Pops was an excellent driving teacher. 522 00:15:47,977 --> 00:15:50,401 Unfortunately, I was not a great student. 523 00:15:50,436 --> 00:15:53,491 Surprising amount of paperwork for a tiny, little nudge. 524 00:15:53,593 --> 00:15:55,159 Dad, we T-boned a cop. 525 00:15:55,228 --> 00:15:57,261 And you told him to stop making a big deal out of it. 526 00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,997 I think that cop had something going on at home. 527 00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:03,468 Okay, first things first. 528 00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:06,337 Give me your keys, Al. No more driving. 529 00:16:06,406 --> 00:16:09,107 How is this on me? Adam was behind the wheel. 530 00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:10,341 You know how it works. 531 00:16:10,443 --> 00:16:11,843 It's the circle of driving. 532 00:16:11,911 --> 00:16:14,579 Somebody loses a license, someone gets a license. 533 00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:16,714 Or, Pops keeps driving, 'cause I'm not. 534 00:16:16,816 --> 00:16:18,950 See? The circle of driving ends with me. 535 00:16:19,018 --> 00:16:20,651 The circle of driving does not end with you. 536 00:16:20,754 --> 00:16:22,687 Or... 537 00:16:22,756 --> 00:16:24,222 Pops keeps driving, 'cause I'm not. 538 00:16:24,290 --> 00:16:25,923 See? The circle of driving ends with me. 539 00:16:26,025 --> 00:16:27,725 You can't end the circle of driving. 540 00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:29,961 Oh, I just did! The circle is complete! 541 00:16:30,063 --> 00:16:31,095 Listen, Cookie Bite. 542 00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:33,498 I know you're scared to drive. 543 00:16:33,566 --> 00:16:34,499 But you shouldn't be. 544 00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:39,270 Truth is, I might've slightly exaggerated 545 00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:40,738 the safety of the highways and byways, 546 00:16:40,807 --> 00:16:42,907 just to make sure you were safe. 547 00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:44,876 So I won't stall out on train tracks 548 00:16:44,944 --> 00:16:46,377 and end up cleaning pools with my face? 549 00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:47,812 Not if you get regular oil changes 550 00:16:47,914 --> 00:16:48,813 and fill up your car... 551 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,281 - Beverly. - Sorry. 552 00:16:50,383 --> 00:16:51,816 Train tracks are fine. 553 00:16:51,918 --> 00:16:53,918 Murray? What about you? 554 00:16:53,987 --> 00:16:54,719 What about me? 555 00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:56,754 Well, maybe you apologize 556 00:16:56,856 --> 00:16:58,756 for always calling the kid a moron. 557 00:17:02,829 --> 00:17:06,097 Aww. That's the nicest sound you ever made at me. 558 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:07,899 Even morons can drive. 559 00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,334 Especially you. 560 00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:15,273 Um, hey. 561 00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,275 I thought we could keep kareoga going. 562 00:17:17,377 --> 00:17:18,876 Um, we're good, Whitney Houston. 563 00:17:18,978 --> 00:17:21,646 Look, I just wanted people to like me. 564 00:17:21,714 --> 00:17:25,349 Then, when they didn't, I acted judgey and showed off. 565 00:17:25,418 --> 00:17:28,052 Maybe I can make up for it? 566 00:17:28,121 --> 00:17:28,986 Okay. 567 00:17:30,356 --> 00:17:33,891 Hey, everybody, I'm Erica. 568 00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:36,727 I'm also Big Tasty's sister. 569 00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,396 Big Tasty! 570 00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:39,597 Mm-hmm. 571 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:42,700 Anyway, I hear part of kareoga is singing along, 572 00:17:42,802 --> 00:17:44,669 so join in if you want. 573 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:53,511 ♪ Love is like a bomb, baby, come on, get it on ♪ 574 00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:56,380 ♪ Livin' like a lover with a radar phone ♪ 575 00:17:56,449 --> 00:17:59,183 ♪ Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp ♪ 576 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,286 ♪ I'm a demolition woman, will you be my man? ♪ 577 00:18:10,129 --> 00:18:11,362 Hey, Pops? Got a second? 578 00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:13,798 Sure thing, kiddo. 579 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,900 Listen, I was thinking... 580 00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,969 Maybe Mom and Dad are right. 581 00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:20,571 Maybe it's time for you to stop driving. 582 00:18:20,673 --> 00:18:21,839 For real this time. 583 00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:23,641 Your parents put you up to this? 584 00:18:23,743 --> 00:18:25,209 No. 585 00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:26,644 This time, it's coming from me. 586 00:18:26,713 --> 00:18:30,014 I know Mom drilled car safety into my head and all, 587 00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:32,683 but I think, in your case, you really should listen. 588 00:18:32,785 --> 00:18:35,353 Adam, I can't just stop driving. 589 00:18:35,421 --> 00:18:39,090 I mean, how are we gonna go on all our crazy adventures? 590 00:18:39,192 --> 00:18:40,725 Easy. I'll drive us. 591 00:18:40,827 --> 00:18:41,526 You? 592 00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:43,060 If getting my license 593 00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:45,196 means I get to keep hanging out with you, 594 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,331 then I'm all in. 595 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,734 You'd do that for me? 596 00:18:49,802 --> 00:18:51,335 Then I guess these are yours now. 597 00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:57,074 I'll work on that. 598 00:18:57,176 --> 00:18:57,975 Come here. 599 00:18:58,044 --> 00:18:59,277 And with that, 600 00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,679 the circle of driving was finally complete. 601 00:19:01,748 --> 00:19:03,981 ♪ Shake it up ♪ 602 00:19:04,083 --> 00:19:09,787 ♪ Break the bubble, break it up ♪ 603 00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:13,324 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 604 00:19:13,426 --> 00:19:15,526 ♪ In the name of love ♪ 605 00:19:15,628 --> 00:19:18,930 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 606 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,198 ♪ Come on, fire me up ♪ 607 00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:22,833 There's nothing harder in life 608 00:19:22,936 --> 00:19:24,502 than facing what scares you most. 609 00:19:24,604 --> 00:19:26,404 Sometimes you just need a little nudge 610 00:19:26,472 --> 00:19:28,406 to get behind the wheel and hit the gas. 611 00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:30,107 Drive safe, moron. 612 00:19:30,209 --> 00:19:32,310 And when your family's along for the ride, 613 00:19:32,412 --> 00:19:34,612 nothing you can't do, nowhere you can't go. 614 00:19:34,681 --> 00:19:35,913 ♪ Listen ♪ 615 00:19:35,982 --> 00:19:38,482 ♪ Red light, yellow light, green-alight, go ♪ 616 00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:41,452 ♪ Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up ♪ 617 00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:44,889 That magic night, Erica finally found her place at college. 618 00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,758 And I found that history had a way of repeating itself. 619 00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,627 I know you're bummed about giving up driving, 620 00:19:49,696 --> 00:19:51,529 so I thought this place would cheer you up. 621 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,067 You know me well, kiddo. 622 00:19:56,169 --> 00:19:57,969 Oh, hell no! 623 00:19:58,071 --> 00:19:59,670 We're going to the Spaghetti Warehouse 624 00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:00,638 across the street. 625 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,239 Don't even look at this place. 626 00:20:02,342 --> 00:20:06,210 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 627 00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:08,012 ♪ Oh, in the name of love ♪ 628 00:20:08,114 --> 00:20:11,349 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 629 00:20:11,451 --> 00:20:12,717 In the end, all it takes 630 00:20:12,819 --> 00:20:14,685 is finding the courage to crank it up, 631 00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:17,288 hit the road, and keep on driving. 632 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:20,224 ♪ I'm hot, sticky sweet ♪ 633 00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:22,593 ♪ From my head to my feet, yeah ♪ 634 00:20:22,695 --> 00:20:25,229 _ 635 00:20:25,331 --> 00:20:29,800 ♪ Take a bottle, shake it up ♪ 636 00:20:29,902 --> 00:20:32,370 _ 637 00:20:32,472 --> 00:20:34,905 ♪ Break the bubble ♪ 638 00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:40,815 Happy birthday! 639 00:20:40,918 --> 00:20:41,917 What do you want for breakfast? 640 00:20:42,019 --> 00:20:42,951 Privacy! 641 00:20:43,053 --> 00:20:44,085 Oh, please. 642 00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:47,122 Don't forget to wash your bottom. 643 00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:48,690 _ 644 00:20:51,194 --> 00:20:52,527 Happy birthday, Schmoo. 645 00:20:52,629 --> 00:20:53,895 What do you want for breakfast? 646 00:20:53,997 --> 00:20:56,665 How's about some pancake dippers? 647 00:20:56,767 --> 00:20:59,634 Don't forget to wash your bottom. 648 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:00,568 On it!46199

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