All language subtitles for The First Time.[2012].DVDRIP.XVID

[BLUE VAN'S "SILLY BOY" PLAYING]

[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

¶¶ I might be wrong but I might be right
Anyhow, I know I tried ¶¶

¶¶ I better leave, I better leave
I better stop ¶¶

¶¶ I like her taste when it fills my soul ¶¶

¶¶ I'll tell you something
I've never told anyone ¶¶

¶¶ Not anyone, not anyone ¶¶

¶¶ Everyone's got a bleeding heart ¶¶

¶¶ I don't know where
Or when to start ¶¶

¶¶ I better bleed, I better bleed
I better stop ¶¶

¶¶ Silly boys, you ran away ¶¶

¶¶ You're unemployed
You'd waste away ¶¶

¶¶ Silly boys, you ran away ¶¶

¶¶ You're unemployed
You'd waste away ¶¶

¶¶ Silly boys, you run away too far ¶¶

¶¶ Remember this
Remember where you are ¶¶

[VOMITING]

What the fuck?

¶¶ Life is good, it's what I see
That makes me wanna disagree ¶¶

¶¶ I better leave, I better leave
I better not ¶¶

¶¶ I better leave, I better leave
I better not ¶¶

¶¶ You might be wrong
'Cause you know I'm right ¶¶

¶¶ If you lose your way
You just follow mine ¶¶

¶¶ I better leave, I better leave
I better stop ¶¶¶¶

And I'll still be
in love with you.

It's that way that you, uh...

It's the way that you...

Wait, shit.
Come on, Dave, what is it?

That, uh... That amazing...
It's that amazing way that...

Who are you talking to?
Oh! Jesus.

You scared the crap out of me.
Sorry.

No, it's all right.
I just... Um, I thought I was alone.

So you were talking to no one?
No.

You go to Humphrey?
Yeah. Westerberg?

North.
Do you know whose party this is?

No, not a clue. What about you?
No, I don't know.

I got brought by some friends.
Not even friends, really, just these girls.

They might be whores.
Or at least whorish.

The guys I hang out with,
we drive around all night

calling everyone we know,
just looking for some party.

I mean, any party.

We'll finally find one, and we'll get here
and we won't know anybody

so we just stand around
and eventually just leave,

go look for some other party.

That's silly. Why do you do it?
What else are you gonna do, right?

[LAUGHING]

Why'd you come out tonight?
I don't know.

A laugh, maybe.
But I'm not looking for a boyfriend.

I got someone. I mean, kind of.
I have a dude.

Who?
Why?

Maybe I know him.
You don't. He's older.

So why aren't you
in there right now

putting moves on some waifish
sophomore with low self-esteem?

I just kind of have one girl
that I'm kind of interested in.

So, what's her name?
Jane.

Jane Nussbaum?
Harmon.

So, what's your name?

Dave.
Dave, I'm Aubrey.

Audrey.
Aubrey.

Aubrey.
Yeah.

And you go to North.
Senior?

Junior.
Right. Of course you are, yeah.

What is that supposed to mean?
Am I not mature enough for you?

No, of course not.
I mean, no, of course you are.

It's just, uh, you don't have that look
in your eye, you know?

Not sure I do.
That desperate, kind of demented look.

The "Whoo, I'm a senior and I'm
graduating in less than a month,

and all my nights of drunken
high school parties are almost over."

You got that look.
Right?

So this girl Jane, she, um...
She doesn't like you back?

She likes me.
Um, platonically. As a friend.

Oh, I know what "platonically" means.
I'm a junior, not a moron.

I'm sorry.
It's cool, Dave.

So have you tried?
Like actually tried?

I think she's gonna hook up
with Brendan Meltzer tonight.

Ooh, my friend hooked up
with Brendan once.

There you go.
He is ripped.

What are you doing to me?

I'm just saying if she's with Brendan
I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Well, trust me, they're not up, okay?
That's why I'm out here.

Because you're hiding?
I'm not hiding.

Fleeing?
No.

Fleeing?
Yeah.

I just... Ugh.
I had to get out of there, okay?

I couldn't exactly stand around
watching the girl that I'm in love with

flirt with the best-Iooking guy ever.
It's torture.

Want some gum?
No, thanks. I'm good.

Yeah, actually.

Uh, I should get back inside before,
you know, they leave without me.

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Hmm?

Do you think it's possible that there's
something I could say to this girl,

uh, just some way
I could tell her how I feel

in a way that just would make her
fall for me? You know?

What do you have in mind?
Here.

Wow.

[CHUCKLES]

"Jane...

Janey,

lately I've been feeling
like there's so much noise.

You know, uh, so much static.
All these voices competing for attention.

Teachers, parents, magazines.

What's in, what's out, who's cool,
who's not cool enough.

And it's like all this shit just gets so loud,
I feel like I can't even hear myself think.

You know,
I just wanna get in my car and drive.

But then I see you.

I see you across the hall,
leaning against your locker

in that jacket that you love
so much,

and, uh, the way you tuck your hair
back behind your ears.

And you see me and you smile.

You just smile,
and it's like all that noise fades away.

You know?

And the only thing I can hear
is the sound of your voice

when you call out my name."

Hmm.

Oh, no. Oh, my...

Oh, my God, I'm literally
too embarrassing to even live.

No. No.
I can't believe I just said that. Out loud.

I mean, even to you. L...

I can't even believe
I was gonna say that to her. I was.

Okay. It's not that
so much as she doesn't...

She doesn't really care about that shit,
you know, the noise and the magazines.

And she definitely doesn't wanna hear
how beautiful you think she is when
she tucks her hair behind her ears.

I mean, I doubt she really
wants to hear anything.

All she wants to feel is a little less
freaked out than she already does,

which, you know,
is probably very.

So she wants to be with a guy
who seems less freaked out than she is,

and if you can be that guy,
then rad.

But if you can't...

then you're not
gonna be her dude.

I'm never gonna be her dude, am I?
Not with that attitude, my friend, no.

And you're a senior,
so I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.

Maybe in college you can reinvent
yourself as a doer, not a talker.

Maybe.

Well, you should probably
get back, huh?

Or, you know, if you're worried
your friends are gonna leave...

You asked for my opinion.

No, I was just gonna say
you could catch a ride home with me.

Oh. Well, um...

Yeah, those whores
won't leave without me.

They're all probably hooking up
with somebody.

I would have to go and unhook them,
and I don't feel like doing that, so...

Then don't.
All right. I won't.

Great.
Okay.

[THE CONCRETES' "OH MY LOVE"
OVER SPEAKERS NEARBY]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

This song is amazing.

Yeah, this song is amazing.
Amazing.

Wanna dance with me?

I don't know, I...
Do you wanna? Ahem.

Do you wanna dance with me?
Hmm, no.

What?
Well, l... Mm-mm.

Just...
"No."

Man, way to build up my confidence.
You did... Well, l...

Which was lacking. It was lacking.
And you even pointed it out.

Look, it's just I don't dance publicly.

And I don't do...
I don't do PDA either.

Those couples,
they make me nauseous.
It's like, "Really, guys?

You're gonna make out in the fricking
mall in front of everybody?" Ugh.

Okay, well, first of all,
we're all alone here,
you know.

Second of all, I mean,
I was just talking about
one dance, you know.

Well?

I can't believe I'm doing this.
It's just like the cheesiest thing ever.

All we need now is for it to be raining,
and, like...

I mean, it's just so tired, right?
And completely...

Would you deal with it?

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

Your balls are vibrating.

Uh...
Uh...

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

Um...

Uh... Huh.

What? What?
Oh, it's just the cops are here.

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

BOY 1: Get out of here!
BOY 2: Get out of here! Cops!

Where's your car?
BOY 3: We're out of here, man.

Oh, I didn't drive. The Englishman did.
AUBREY: What?

My little English friend.
AUBREY: Who?

They're taking everybody's name,
they're handcuffing people.
It's every man for himself. Let's go.

[SIRENS WAILING NEARBY]

What's wrong with you assholes?
Let's go.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[SHOUTING AND SCREAMING]

What should we do?

Um, hang on, I just need to...
I'll call my...

[CAR ENGINE REWING]

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

My house is like 10 blocks away.
You wanna walk with me for a little?

Yes.

AUBREY:
Where are you gonna go to college?

DAVE:
Uh, Columbia.

AUBREY:
Wow, so you're, like,
Smartypants McGee.

DAVE:
No, I don't know about
"Smartypants McGee."

AUBREY:
Any idea what you might wanna do?

DAVE: I wanna teach.
I wanna live in New York and teach.

Oh.

Elementary school to start.
Somewhere where there's
a real need, you know?

Uh, then probably
developmental psychology.

Oh, so you pretty much know
exactly what you wanna do.

Yeah. How about you?

I have no idea. I like collage.

Collage?
And I draw some.

I'm learning how to play the drums.
Helps me work out my aggression.

You got a lot of aggression?
The average amount, I think.

Heh. Are you, uh?
Are you happy?

Happy? Heh.

Yeah, do you think of yourself
as a reasonably happy person?

Content or what have you?
No, I wouldn't say content.

I'm just... I'm ready to get out of here.
I'm so over high school.

You've still
got another year.

I'm aware of that. Dick.

[CHUCKLES]

You?
Me what?

Are you a happy-go-lucky
kind of kid?

Because I'll slap you if you are.

Well, I am right now,
which is surprising.

You know I'm dating someone?

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER CAR SPEAKERS]

Oh! Ha!

Wait. Krasne?

What?
No, dude, it's Wurtzheimer, dude.

It's Wurtzheimer.
Sorry, man, not him.

Don't apologize for who you are
or who you're not.

That ought to be
on a T-shirt, right?

You guys know where this, um...
This party's at?

Oh, it just got broken up by the police.
No, dude, the one on, uh, Chestnut.

That's where we just were.
You sure about that?

Pretty sure.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

But, hey, you guys want a ride?
I guess we're heading west.

No, I'm just a few blocks away.
I'm fine on my own if you wanna...

DAVE:
Uh...

Uh, actually, you know what?
We're good, man. Thanks, though.

Suit yourselves.
You kids are adorable.

Yeah.
Take it easy, Wurtzheimer, all right?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, this is me.

[DOG BARKING]

That's me. This is me.
Um...

Well, hey. Uh...
Yes? Yeah?

I don't know, would you wanna
maybe hang out sometime?

What were we just doing?

That...

I don't know, I mean...
I just meant...

You asking me for my number?
I was easing into it.

Hmm. Okay.

Okay, fine?
Yes, go. Give it to me.

Do you wanna come in
for a second?

What about your boyfriend?

I'm not gonna doink you or anything.
I know.

What about your parents?
You have to be really quiet.

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Uh, do you want
something to drink?

DAVE:
Uh, sure.

AUBREY:
Uh, what do you want?

I don't know.
Whatever you're having is fine.

Well, I'm gonna have some wine.

Yeah, works for me.

[CORKSCREW WHIRRING]

Oh, shit.

DAVE:
This is really very cool.

[LEONARD COHEN'S
"IF IT BE YOUR WILL" PLAYING]

¶¶ If it be your will ¶¶

Heh. It's true, huh?

The sound quality
really is way better than a download.

Not really.

Oh.

Then why?

I just like the idea of it.
You know, a record collection.

You know, most of them are my dad's.

¶¶ I will speak no more ¶¶

¶¶ I shall abide until ¶¶

¶¶ I am spoken for ¶¶

¶¶ If it be your will ¶¶¶¶

You wanna know
when I'm really happy?

Four o'clock.

Home from school, and the sun
comes through that window

and just makes the carpet all,
like, warm.

And I sit here cutting out pictures.

When I was little,
it was Crayolas, but...

I've never been more content
than when I'm just,

you know, by myself,
doing my thing.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I mean, I'm not alone much,
definitely not in my house,

but, um, I have my car.

Some nights, I just like to drive around,
music up, windows down, just...

Have you had sex yet?

What?
Just asking.

Honestly?
No, lie to me.

Not yet.

I mean, not that there haven't been
some opportunities.

Oh, yeah, girls lining up
to have sex with you?

No, that's not what I meant.

You wanna have sex with Jane?

I guess, yeah. But I don't like
to fantasize about, um...

I fantasize about holding her hand
and kissing in the rain.

You know, all that cheesy,
tired romantic shit

that you're such a fan of.

And I fantasize about having sex
with Casey Flynn.

Is that an actress I should know?
She's a girl who goes to my school.

She's the girl that everyone
wants to have sex with
because she's, you know, mean.

Oh.

Jane's the girl that you want
to be your girlfriend.

The virgin and the skank.
Tale as old as time.

Have you done it yet?

None of your business.

Everything cool has been ruined.
Was before we got here.

Even sex and relationships.

It's all just so safe and convenient.

Homogenized.

Exchange profiles, boil your
personality down to some,
like, compatibility equation.

"What's your favorite movie?
Who's your favorite recording artist?"

And then with one easy click,

we too can realize our dream
of boning someone exactly like us.

Get married,
give birth to two and a half babies.

We can all post the pictures
on Facebook or Twitter.

No, that's... That is not for me.

I wanna meet a man
the old-fashioned way, you know,

like in a bar.

How about a dark alley?
Crazy guy who talks to himself?

Give me your hand.

Which one am I?

The virgin or the skank?

[DAVE SCOFFS]

I've never met anyone like you before.

That's a pretty good answer.

¶¶ If it be your will ¶¶

¶¶ If there is a choice ¶¶

¶¶ Let the rivers fill ¶¶

¶¶ Let the hills rejoice ¶¶

¶¶ Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell ¶¶

I have trouble sleeping
with someone in the room.

Oh. I'll take off.
No.

It's just, sleepovers, camp,
I always hated them.

Not because I minded being away,

but because there was always
some mouth breather next to me.

You don't have to explain.
I'll go.

Not yet. I just, um...

Maybe we could lie here
for a minute.

And I could just close my eyes,
see what it's like.

Is that okay?

Okay.

¶¶ All dressed to kill ¶¶

¶¶ And end this night ¶¶

¶¶ If it be your will ¶¶

¶¶ If it be your will ¶¶¶¶

Your heart is beating really fast.

I know.

Sorry.

It's cool, Hodgman.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MOM:
Honey, wake up. It's almost 11.

Oh, shit.
MOM: Aubrey?

Yeah. I'll be out in a minute.
MOM: Okay.

Oh. Oh, God, no. I'm so sorry.

[WHISPERS]
Okay, you've gotta get out.
The window.

[GRUNTING]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Hurry.
Uh, okay.

What now?
Jump.

[YELLS]
[AUBREY GASPS]

[THUD]

[DAVE GROANING]

Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, go. Call me.
Okay. Yes.

Wait, wait, wait.
I don't even think I got your number.

Aubrey?

Aubrey!

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

DAVE:
Badass. I was like
Jason Bourne, you know?

Or Jason Statham.
Then I called you.

What?
You're a sweet boy, you know that?

Shut up.
No, you truly are.

Your Bambi-like innocence
is just, what? Adorable.

I'm gonna pinch your cheek.
Screw you.

David, there is no boyfriend.

But...
No.

What, you think she made it up?
\Yes, of course she did.

Girls have to say they have a boyfriend
when they meet some random dick.

It's practically in the manual.
I don't know, I really believed her.

Of course you did. Even now,
when I'm assuring you it's bullshit.

It's how you know if she likes you.
In a couple of days, chuck her a text.

See if she wants to hang out,
get some Chinese, get some
Szechuan chicken.

If she says "boyfriend,"
you know she didn't really like you.
Thanks, love.

But you can always tell yourself,
"Hey, she has a boyfriend."

You know? "It's not me."
It's a good system. Tell him.

I'm not gonna text her.
Why not?

I thought you said
she had a tight little bottom.

Because.
Because of Jane?

Seriously, David,
that's never gonna happen.

I accidentally spilled wine
on her carpet.

Right. Who gives a shit?
She does.

She's got this thing about her carpet.

The way the sunlight hits it
at a certain point in the afternoon and...

Couldn't text her even if I wanted to.

She didn't give you her number,
did she?

No. She started to.

She typed in the first few digits,
and then we...

But I did get those first three digits
on my phone, right? So...

I mean, come on, how many
possible combinations of numbers
could there really be?

Ten thousand.

Just call Information.
Don't be stupid, okay?

She's not gonna be listed.

Plus, I don't even know
her parents' first names.

And Lashanda says there's like
337 Millers in Deranja County.

What's the shit's a Lashanda?

The lady I talked to
when I called Information.

Well, you know where she lives.

I know where she... Great.
So I could stand outside of her house?

Because that won't be so creepy.
Yes. Great.

Find her on Facebook.
I don't think she does Facebook.

She doesn't believe
in that sort of thing.

She doesn't believe in it?

This girl sounds like a ginormous
ass-ache, my friend.

Like a huge ache in my ass.

I'm telling you, I know the type.
I know the type.

The alternative rock indie chick
who only goes to art films,

smells like vegan food,
can't be bothered to shave her pits.

Eventually falls in love
with a scary bull dyke named Harley.

Where do you even come up...?
Stanwyck.

What are you jabbering about?
Stanwyck goes to North.

Stanwyck goes to North.
We'll call Stanwyck.

He'll have access to the student
database. Just thought of that.

[BEST COAST'S "THE END"
PLAYING]

[LINE RINGING]

STANWYCK [OVER PHONE]:
What do you want?

DALDRY:
Stanwyck, it's Daldry. I need a favor.

You can finally pay me back
for giving you Courtney Yamazaki.

She was never gonna go out with you.
She thinks you're disgusting.

Whatever gets you through the night.
What do you want?

We need a number for a girl
that goes to North.

Uh, hold on a sec. What year?

Junior.
Who was that?

Uh, it's Hodgman.

Uh, junior. Okay.
It's gonna be Aubrey Miller.

Miller, Audrey.
Aubrey.

Aubrey Miller.
Just an address and the home number.

No cell?
What did I say?

Okay, how about an e-mail?

Just the home number.
You want it or not, Dave?

Yes, give us the number.

[OVER CAR SPEAKERS]
¶¶ I went out with this guy ¶¶

¶¶ This guy ¶¶¶¶

Hey, we're gonna see that movie
tonight, 7:15, Old Orchard.

What movie?
Where the world ends in like five days.

Three days.
Three days. Not a lot of time.

That movie's gonna suck.
I think I'll skip it.

David.

Look, it goes without saying,
leave it a few days before
you call this girl.

You know, let's give the illusion
that you have a life.

Of course. Of course. I mean,
I'm happy we got the number,
but I don't know.

I probably...
Hey, probably won't even call her at all.

We'll see. We'll see how I feel
by the end of the week or something.

Or in like a couple weeks.

Uh, hi, yes, is this Mr. Miller?
DAD: I don't take solicitations.

No, no, no. I'm, uh...
I'm actually a friend of your...

Well, one of your daughters.
Only got the one that I'm aware of.

Yup, right, okay.
Well, I'm a friend of Aubrey's.

Uh-huh.

Yes, well,
may I speak with her, please?

Hello?
Aubrey?

Speaking.
Well, hey, it's Dave.

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, hold on one second.

One second. Um...

Hi. What's up?

Oh, uh, well, nothing much, actually.
I just, uh...

I got home safely, so there's that.
Rest easy, I guess. Heh.

But I don't know, I just wanted
to make sure that, um, you were cool.

You know, that everything was cool with,
uh, you know...

Yeah.

Yeah, everything's cool?
Yeah.

Great. Good. Sweet.
Uh, well, okay. Um...

Well, hey, I also wanted to say, uh...
Well, or ask you.

What are you doing later?

Uh, I don't know.
Ha, ha.

I think I'm gonna go to a movie
with Ronny.

Ronny?
Ronny.

Ronny. Of course.

That's good. That's actually funny,
though, because I'm going
to the movies tonight too.

Um, but we're going to Old Orchard.

[LAUGHING]

Well, that's where I'm going.

Then I guess I'll see you.
Maybe.

All right. Well, cool.
Cool.

Later.

I think that went pretty well, right?

[CHUCKLES]

Can we finish this?
Listen.

I'm not gonna lecture you on parenting.
That's not my thing.

You stick to your area,
and I will stick to mine.

But let me just say this:

We all knew at some point
I was going to have a drink.

It's inevitable.
I am a teenager, and this is America,

and isn't it way better that
I do it here, alone in my room
with a glass of wine,

rather than at some party,
doing Jager shots with some
frat-boy date rapist?

Or when I could be killed
in, like, a fiery car accident?

Well?
Look, this isn't just about wine. This...

You spilled it. You... You...

Ugh. I don't even know.
What was the question again?

Can I go to the movies tonight,
or are we gonna punish me
for being responsible?

[SIGHS]

Really?

You may go.

Good.

It was a good talk.

[OVER CAR SPEAKERS]
¶¶ Whoa, whoa ¶¶

¶¶ Oh, yeah, yeah ¶¶

¶¶ Whoa, whoa ¶¶¶¶

How you doing?

[SIGHS]

Well, you know, I've been better.

I've had a really rough week,
emotionally.

And I'm telling you
because I might not be, like,

a ton of fun tonight or...

You've been crying.

Anyway.

How are you?

Fine.

[THE JAMESTOWN STORY'S
"HEAD SPIN" PLAYING]

DAVE: This is so not cool.
What am I doing here, you know?

She's gonna think I'm stalking her
like some weird, creepy nerd.

Remember Aaron Finklestein?
Uh-huh.

That's gonna be me.
That's gonna be me.

God, the poor bastard
was never heard from again.

Then again,
I don't plan on raping anybody.

Don't look now, lambchop.
This shit just got real.

No, okay...
Hey.

Mr. Daldry.
Jane.

B. Hey, where did you
disappear to last night?

I was looking for you.
Um, I was around.

I wanted us to have
one of our famous late-night talks.

So, what are you doing later?
Um, I don't know.

Daldry, what are we doing later?
DALDRY: Uh, no commitments.

We're keeping our options open.
Although I may have a lead for
a party in La Mesa.

We could go to my house.
The parentals are in Cabo,

and I told those losers from Huntington
I may have people over.

Come on. What are we seeing?

Hey, Dave.
Hey. Hey.

[CHUCKLES]

Hi. Um, I'm Jane.

Oh, I'm Aubrey.
This is Ronny.

What's up, dudes?

Hey, Daldry.
Yeah?

Come meet Aubrey
and her boyfriend, Ronny.

Her boyfriend, Ronny.

Oh, marvelous. I'm Simon Daldry.
Pleasure to meet you both.

This is, uh, Brianna, Erica,
Big Corporation.

AUBREY:
Wait, sorry?

It's a football thing.
It's what everyone calls him.

Big Corporation.
I get it.

It's funny because corporations
are destroying everything.

Like the environment, democracy,
culture, music.

It's ironic. I love it.

Right. We're gonna see
How the World Ends, yeah?

How about you guys?
Uh, the new Almodóvar film.

Oh, actually, no.
I'm not down for subtitles tonight.

Is it cool if we see
something else?

Oh. Heh.

She's so bashful. But don't be fooled.
She's a tigress when we're alone.

Whatever you want,
my little tiger cub.

You wanna go and see
a dumb kiddy movie,
that's fine by me.

I just wanna be next to you tonight.
Yeah.

MAN 1 [ON FILM]:
Go, go, go, go, go!

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING
AND MEN YELLING ON FILM]

[GIRL SHRIEKS ON FILM]

GIRL:
Mommy!

[SQUISHING AND CRUNCHING
ON FILM]

MAN 2:
Not on my watch, you alien bitch.

[GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSIONS
ON FILM]

[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING
AND PEOPLE SCREAMING ON FILM]

MAN 1: Come on, boys. Lock and load.
Hit them high, hit them low.

MAN 2:
Suck on this.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN 2: Tell Mikey I love him
and I'll always love him.

MAN 1:
You tell him yourself.

[TIRES SCREECHING
AND SIRENS WAILING ON FILM]

MAN 1:
Run. Go. Run, run.

We've only got one shot at this.

[BEEPING THEN EXPLOSIONS
ON FILM]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING ON FILM]

[GUNFIRE ON FILM]

Really wonderful film, huh?

Yeah. It's touching.

Hey, listen...
I'm sorry

that I made you jump off the roof.
That was nuts. And dangerous.

And I'm sorry if I was a little, like...
Ugh.

You know, on the phone.
I just... I wig out a little sometimes.

Not that that's an excuse.
Give me your cell.

Uh... Oh.

Okay. And I forgive you.

So...
So.

So you're here with Jane.
She's really pretty.

Yeah, she's all right.

And she's sitting next to you
and she's holding your hand.

It kind of seems like she likes you.
No.

I don't know.
Okay.

I'm definitely having thoughts
about the sexy time with her, though.

Wow.
Definitely. So thanks for that.

Maybe that's good.
Take her off the pedestal.

Besides, that cheeseball
romance stuff?

That's strictly for Nicholas Sparks books
and commercials for De Beers.

It's like Zussman says, it's all biology.
Natural selection.

A female chooses
her strongest mate

so that her offspring have
a greater chance at survival.

Zussman?

Uh, Mr. Zussman.
He's my biology teacher.

Although I suppose
he's selling something too.

Well, I'm not sure I'm the strongest mate
in my particular gene pool,

Ugh.
But I guess we can give it shot, right?

Come on.
Confidence is sexy, Hodgman.

I know. That's what my mom
keeps telling me.

I should go back inside.

Yeah.

Well, hey,
Ronny seems like a cool guy.

Does he?
No.

Uh, well... I mean, I can't tell yet.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

Hey, listen. Um...

A bunch of us were gonna go
to that girl's house after, to Brianna's.

Mm-hm.
Uh, I guess some other people too.

It's not like a party. It's just a thing.
Okay.

Yeah, let me talk to him.
Sweet. Talk to him.

I guess, uh,
enjoy the end of the world.

I wanna travel.

All right.
Last night you got me thinking

about what I wanna do,
and I definitely wanna travel.

Like, as a career?

Last summer I, uh, got to visit my uncle
and his boyfriend in Madrid.

One day I was just, like,
walking around and I got lost.

And, you know,
my cell phone was dead,

and I had no idea
where their apartment was.

Then I was worried I was
gonna have to adapt to life
as a street person in Madrid.

Finally I just wandered out
into this plaza

and I sat by this fountain
and I just, like, breathed.

And I realized I had been so focused
on where I was going and getting back

that I hadn't even noticed
where I was.

I hadn't noticed anything.
And so I started to.

I started to notice, like,

the personality of the architecture
and, like,

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

The way people would just, like,
greet each other on the streets.

And even the sky looked, like,
different over there.

And it felt like I was just letting go
of something.

But also like I'm finally in the world.

Eventually, I found my way back,
but those few hours,

those were, like, the best.

It was the best part of my trip,
and I just...

I wanna get back out there so bad.
There's so much stuff I wanna see.

Huh.

What?

Wow, that was so stupid.

No, no, no.
No, I'm sorry. That was weird.

It wasn't stupid. I just... I was...

I was just listening to you,
and I wanna go with you.

Okay.

Hey, babe.
What am I, seeing this shit alone?

Yeah. I mean, no. No. No, heh.

I'm coming. Oh, and, uh, here.

[TELEKINESIS'
"I CANNOT LOVE YOU" PLAYING]

[TELEKINESIS'
"I CANNOT LOVE YOU" PLAYING]

[CHATTERING]

Let me tell you guys something.

Something you don't know,
because you haven't really
been out in the world yet.

But when you get to my age,
you'll realize that...

You know, that everything
is just bullshit.

Nobody cares about anything
except making money, you know?

Like dollar, dollar bills, y'all.

So some glorified little office boy,
junior-executive prick

is gonna tell the
Joan Cusack Experience
our stuff isn't commercial?

Screw you, pal. No.
No, I mean, I can probably...

What is the Joan Cusack Experience?
I think it's the name of his band.

RONNY: To be an artist. You know,
he's an idiot. "Sir, you're an idiot."

That's why you just gotta
focus on the basics.

The fundamentals.
The simple things, you know?

The simple intricacies of life.

What are you thinking?

I think whoever said you
should always be yourself
obviously never met Ronny.

[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS NEARBY]

JANE: Isn't this pool nuts?
I feel like we're at Hef's mansion.

I'm Jane.
Aubrey. We met.

Right. You know Dave.
Yeah. A little.

Do you, like,

like him?

Heh, what?
No. No, no. I, um...

No, I'm with, um...

that guy.

Oh. Wow.

He is gorgeous.

I mean, I like Dave as a friend.
He's cool.

No, Dave is amazing.

He's one of my best friends.
Definitely my best guy friend.

He's always been there for me,
through all my terrible relationships
and shit,

and I can tell him anything.

He gives the best advice.
He's so smart.

You should see the way he is
with his sister.

His sister?
Yeah, she's 5.

Or maybe 6. But so, so cute.

And he's, like,
super involved in her life,

because I guess the dad
isn't really around or whatever.

Where is he?

It's just that most guys our age
are completely self-absorbed,
you know?

Yeah, I know. And they never shut up.
Never, right?

God, I am so sick
of these arrogant jagweeds,

with their big stupid mouths
and their tiny little penises.

We're not talking about Dave anymore.
We're talking about Brendan Meltzer.

Is he a douche bag?
World's most humongous douche bag.

Like, officially.

And you know what the
really sick part is? I knew it. I knew.

And I knew he was probably
gonna tell everyone that we...

Because I've pretty much heard about
every single girl he's hooked up with,
so why would I be any...?

But anyway, I don't know.

All I want is once
for one of these boys to just, like,

ask me a question, you know?

[CHUCKLES]

Like my opinion or how I'm doing
or really anything.

Because at this point, if one of them
were to, like, open the door for me

or offer to buy dinner,

I would be so frigging shocked,
I would probably fall over.

You know,

sometimes it's just the guy
that you...

Sometimes what?

Hmm?

Weren't you?
You were about to say something.

Was I?

No.

No, no. Well, heh, yes,
but now it's gone. Poof.

It was just, like, a second ago.
Yeah. Weird, right?

Yeah.

RONNY:
Hey.

You.

Dave.

So where did you meet my lady?

In an alley.
She's, uh, pretty great, huh?

What?
She's pretty great.

You know. Pretty, pretty, pretty great.

Yeah, she is.

I mean, I don't usually
go for high school girls.
Too needy. Way too immature.

But this one,

you know, she's inspiring.

I'm actually writing a song
about her.

Well, about her knees.

We're gonna have sex tonight.

Yeah?

Yeah. We were supposed to do it
last weekend, but I got the flu.

Sure.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Dan,
it's been a long time coming,
but we're finally doing it.

Gonna do it to it.

So where is this taking place?

Um, probably in my van.
Jesus.

Shit, I gotta move that kick drum.

Well, Ronny,
that sounds unforgettable.

Pretty, pretty unforgettable.

I'm, uh...

gonna go drain the Lil Wayne.

[SIGHS]

[PLAYING SOMBER MELODY]

You never told me
you have a sister.

I guess it never came up.

She's my half sister, technically.

Her dad's not really
in our lives anymore anyway, so...

What about your dad?

Remarried. Lives in Stovington.

He's an endodontist.

Gives one hell of a root canal,
if you're ever in need.

You know, I just had this very
clear image in my head of you

and what your life was like
and your family.

And it turns out
that it was completely wrong.

Stupid of me to think that
I knew you after one night.

Please don't have sex with Ronny.

The guy is unbelievable.

Yeah. You can't lose
your virginity to him.

Why not?
Are you...? Are you kidding me?

You know,
it's not some beautiful thing.

It's not some treasure
that I have to guard

until I find the one
or the right person.

Because there is no right person.
There's just some dude.

Okay? And it happens,
and it's a little gnarly
and kind of uncomfortable,

but one day,
one day it's gonna be terrific.

It's gonna be like crazy
porno-sex terrific.

So I just gotta get from here to there
safely and on my own terms.

And I know that Ronny is safe
because I have my own copy
of his test results.

So would you please, please just tell me
why I can't go and get it over with?

You know, I think it's finding
the right person that makes it special.

Okay? But it sure as shit is not that guy.
Okay.

You know what, Dave? Heh.

You... You are in love with Jane.
You're in love with her.

You are in love with her smile
and her hair tucking and her
annoyingly perfect olive skin.

I mean, who has skin like that?
It's ridiculous. It's, like, per...

You've got great skin.
Yeah, well, thank you.

But that's because I work
really hard at my skin, okay?

I'm on a first-name basis
with my dermatologist.

If there's a problem,
then Phyllis and I, we deal with it.

But that's not the point here.
That's not the point.

The point is that you are
infatuated with Jane.

So I'm gonna go do Ronny.

Why are you smiling?

You dig me.

No. No. Heh, please.

Oh, so, what, you're like this
confident, cocky guy now?

You're that guy?

I guess.
Right.

And that's not just because your mom
and I said that you should be more...

confident?
I don't know. Maybe.

What do you think?

I just...

I think that you should probably...

Aubrey. We gotta go.

Uh, okay, yeah, one minute.
No, right now. We're leaving.

Are you even sober enough to drive?
RONNY: I'm fine.

Or I could give you a ride.
Just mind your business, Dan.

Okay. You know what I think?

I think that you know my name
is actually Dave.

Kind of like how I know yours
is actually Dick.

[ALL GASP]

Ow. It's fine. I'm okay. I'm okay.

I'll gonna kill this bitch.
I'll kick the living shit out of you.
The living shit, my friend.

You pretentious little
Belle and Sebastian...

BIG CORPORATION: Whoa, little man.
Stop! Everyone, just calm down.

Behave.
DALDRY: I wanna make him cry.

DAVE: All right, Ronny.
BIG CORPORATION: Chill.

I've never done this before,
but I'm gonna kick your ass.

That's right. I'm not kidding, buddy.
What are you people doing in here?

I told you, living room is off-limits.
We're leaving.

BRIANNA: Good.
Yeah, good.

Wait, what? You're leaving?
I'm gonna go with him.

Ronny.

Goodbye.

RONNY:
Whatever. We shouldn't even be here.

We should not even be here.
Children.

You okay? Somebody said
you were in a fight or something.

Not quite.

Well, I am a little tipsy. Heh.

Yes, I am.

[SIGHS]

Thank you.
Yeah.

Hey, so that girl, your friend,

she's super cute, right?

Yeah, super cute.

Is she still here?
No, they left.

Right. With her boyfriend.

Who is a hottie, by the way.

Not that that's...

Well, I don't care about
that kind of stuff anymore.

I am over boys.
They all suck. Heh.

Especially the hotties.
Heh.

Yeah, you've said that before.
Many times.

No, this time I mean it.

Last night I did
the stupidest thing ever.

I was so wasted, and we couldn't stop
laughing about this thing.

Anyway, the cops showed up, and he
asked me if I needed a ride home...

Do you know what
"homogenized" means?

What?
Homogenized.

Uh...

It's a kind of milk, isn't it?

Homogenized milk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's going on with you?

Something's weird.

You know what? I'm just feeling...

[SIGHS]

What?

Jane...

Janey...

I'm gonna go.

What?

But I was just telling you about...

Don't you wanna talk?

No, not tonight.

I'll see you on Monday, okay?

[THE PAINS OF BEING PURE
AT HEART'S "ANNE WITH AN E"
PLAYING]

Okay.

"You dig me."

"You dig me"? Oh, my God.
What, was that supposed to be cute?

Yeah. Yes, it was. Yep.
Those were my intentions.

Those were my intentions.
Did she buy it? Nope.
Mm-mm-mm. No, sir.

How could she?

"You dig me." Who...? Nobody...
I've never heard anyone say that.

God, that's... Ugh.

God.

¶¶ The things we used to do ¶¶

¶¶ When the nightmare wouldn't end ¶¶

¶¶ Turn up the sight of you ¶¶

¶¶ And feel it all again ¶¶

¶¶ The posters on the wall ¶¶

I broke up with Ronny.

¶¶ That were our only friends ¶¶

I didn't do it for you.
I know.

But it's totally your fault.
Right.

You know, this doesn't mean that I can
jump into some relationship with you.

Okay.

I mean, I don't even know
if I'm gonna feel this way tomorrow.

Well, I guess, then, we're just gonna
have to drive around all night.

I could be into that.

¶¶ Let's go out tonight ¶¶

¶¶ And do something that's wrong ¶¶

¶¶ 'Cause I don't feel all right ¶¶

¶¶ When disaster's gone ¶¶

¶¶ Anne with an E ¶¶

¶¶ You're everything to me ¶¶¶¶

[SIREN WAILING]

Oh, my God.

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

Is that the same?
Holy shit. From last night.

Those kids.

I think I might be sick.

[GROANS]

I'm sorry.

Are you kidding me? Don't be. Never.
You never have to apologize to me.

I don't know why I'm...

Shit.

It's scary stuff.

Sometimes everything seems really...

harsh.

I don't think I can handle it.

Or I don't know if I'm gonna be...

you know, strong enough...

to be on my own.

Oh, what?

You will be.

You are, you know. Trust me.

And you're not gonna
be on your own.

I mean, you've got your family
and you've got...

Okay.
Yeah.

I should, um, really go inside now.

I think you should too.
I'm going to.

All right, then, go.
In a second. Don't rush me.

So I'll call you tomorrow?
Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Heh.
Heh.

Whew.

Yeah. I mean, you don't have to.

Or, like, don't go out of your way
or anything.

Okay.

All right. Heh.

[SIGHS]

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

[CHUCKLES]

[LINE RINGING]

DAVE: Hi.
What are you doing?

I thought you had so much
calculus homework.

I wasn't gonna bug you
for at least another 15 minutes.

I'm taking a much-deserved break.
Me too. I'm at the park with Stella.

We got big money riding
on this peewee baseball game.

Yeah, maybe I could, um...

You wanna come hang out with us?
Meet the gerbil?

Well, I don't wanna, like,
butt in on your time with your sister.

No, are you kidding me?
She's sick to death of me.
Come on. Here.

Aubrey?
Yes?

Hi, this is Stella.
Hi.

Can you please come to the park
and hang out with us?

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

DAVE:
We've never been apart for that long,
so it'll be an adjustment, definitely.

I mean, but I'll be back all the time,
and she'll come out a lot.

We'll make it work.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

Plus, we've still got
the whole summer. Ahem.

She wants to go on a roller coaster.
She's obsessed with roller coasters.

Where's her father?

I mean, you don't have to tell me.
No, no. It's nothing that dramatic. Uh...

We just don't really know.

He had a drug problem. Uh...

Got himself into debt, took off.

It was a real mess. Ahem.

The worst part,

Stella really liked him,
and he just completely bailed on her.

That's part of why it's hard,
you know, leaving.

I don't want her to worry
that I'm not gonna come back.

Dave, it's...

No, you're right.

It'll be fine.

[CHUCKLES]

What are you two
talking about over here?

We were talking about roller coasters.
STELLA: I love roller coasters.

DAVE: Yeah? How do you know?
You've never even been on one yet.

[MOM CHUCKLES]

Hey, guys.
Oh, hey. I need your input.

What do you think, with this dress,
the shawl or the jacket?

Are you guys going somewhere?

Nope. This is how we've decided
to start dressing around the house.

We're gonna have to insist
that you do too.

Every Sunday.
It'll be a regular thing.

I've told you about this a hundred times.
Tonight's the benefit.

The benefit.

The cancer center.
Your father is presenting an award.

Are you ever listening to me
when I tell you these things?

Right, the benefit.
That's tonight.

Yes, it's tonight.
There's lasagna in the fridge.

You should eat it,
because we're gonna be late, okay?

Okay. And I'd, um...

You know, I'd definitely go
with the jacket, no question.

As would I. Let's go.
Ah, coming. Good night.

Night.

[HORSE NEIGHS
AND WOMAN MOANS ON VIDEO]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

AUBREY:
So here's the thing.

My parents are gonna go to this benefit.
Benefits are cool.

Uh...

Uh, you should come over.
Really?

I mean, if you want to, you could...
Do you want to?

Yes. I mean, I guess. Sure.
Uh, when-ish?

Like 45 minutes-ish?

Uh, no, that should work for me.
Good.

Great.
Bye.

Bye.

No.

No, because you're not that guy.

You're not that guy who walks around
with a condom in his wallet.

You're not.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Can I put this down in your room?
It's deceptively heavy.

Mm-hm.
Thanks.

[CHUCKLES]

What you got in there?
Oh, I got you something.

Uh, it's nothing.

You know,
it's just like getting you flowers or...

Or... I would never get you
flowers though because I know
how you feel about cheesiness.

I'm not opposed to flowers.
I like flowers. They're pretty.

Oh. Okay. Huh.

Well, now I know that. Um, wow.

I should have got you, like,
a whole box of flowers.

You shouldn't have
gotten me anything.

Well, after the park, I took Stella
to this really cool store off Scottsdale

where, um, I used to go in
all the time because I would get...

I used to have this
antique-action-figure collection. Uh...

I don't know why I'm telling you about
my action-figure collection, but any...

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

I thought you could cut them up.
You know, for collage.

You are just completely ridiculous.

I know. I know. It was stupid.
Uh, I just...

I don't know why I brought that.
I just... I thought maybe...

You probably have
a whole system for that.

I dig you so much.

[CHUCKLES]

So much it, like, freaks me out.

I told you.

I want you to hear this song
I downloaded last night.

I was maybe gonna put it on a CD
with some other stuff for your car.

Like a mix?
No, not like a mix, just...

[MOTOPONY'S "WAIT FOR ME"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

¶¶ Girl come to me in a dream ¶¶

¶¶ And I don't even know her name ¶¶

¶¶ A pretty mark upon her breast ¶¶

¶¶ To signify her from the rest ¶¶

So, what do you wanna do?

¶¶ But her and I are just the same ¶¶

Well, there's some lasagna.
Are you hungry?

- Are you?
- No.

Me neither.

Okay.

We could, um...

- We could watch a movie.
- Well, I've actually seen all the movies.

I'm pretty sure
there's quite a few movies.

I'm pretty sure I've seen them all.

Okay, then, that's out.

¶¶ I know it won't be easy ¶¶

¶¶ What a thing to believe ¶¶

DAVE:
We could go for a ride.

Yeah, we could.
We could definitely do that.

Or, you know, not,

because we'll probably just
end up coming back here.

Yeah, so, what's the point?

AUBREY:
We could play a game.

You know,
like Chutes and Ladders or Boggle.

I'd wipe the floor with you
if we played Boggle.

Seriously, I'm amazing.

I could have gone pro
if I hadn't blown out my knee.

¶¶ The letter slipped
Right through my hands ¶¶

¶¶ Practiced all my wit and charm ¶¶

¶¶ Had many girls on every arm ¶¶

I don't really feel like playing games,
do you?

Not really.

Okay.

So, what do you wanna do?

Really.

What?

What? What are you...?
What are you thinking?

Uh, I'm sort of thinking that, um...
What?

I'm thinking
that this has just been like...

the best weekend of my life.

And I don't wanna do anything
that might screw it up.

Oh.

Um...

Yeah. No, you're right.

I am?

Yeah. Yeah. You're totally right.

Yeah, we should just, you know,
take things slow, not rush things.

You know, we don't wanna be cliché.
Yeah, clichés are the worst.

Those people who are like,
"Ah, those teenagers with
their raging hormones.

They can't control themselves."
It's like, come on. Yes, we can
control ourselves.

Such bullshit. We are not bunnies.
We are absolutely not bunnies.

We are capable of making intelligent,
rational decisions.

I think we're making one right now.
We are. This is good. This is better.

Way better. I'm glad you agree.
I totally agree.

Good. Me too.

Aw, fuck it.

¶¶ I know it won't be easy ¶¶

¶¶ What a thing to believe ¶¶¶¶

DAVE:
Oh, uh... Uh...

Should I?
Okay, what?

Uh, I don't know...
Uh, well, what do you, uh, like?

Oh, um... Well, did you...
Did you bring a condom?

No. Shit.
No, no. That's good. That's cool.

That means that you didn't think
that I thought we were gonna
have sex tonight.

It's cooler that you didn't think that.

Yeah, heh, no.
I definitely didn't think that at all.
Uh, never even crossed my mind.

I have one.

What?
A condom.

Huh?
Should I get it?

You could. I mean, sure. Yeah.
Okay.

That's a thing you could do.
Okay. Okay. Okay.

That's a thing you could do.

Holy shit.

[CHUCKLES]

All right.

Uh...
You can have it.

This is for me.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I think this is a really good kind.
Like maybe the best.

I think this is what Tiger uses.

And it hasn't expired yet.

You know, still got a good
18 months on this guy.

Not that I have
that kind of stamina.

Hey, "spermicide" is a really
ominous-sounding word, right?

It sounds like something
the Nazis committed.

Are you gonna put it on?

You mean right now?

Or...
No, yeah, uh, yeah. Uh...

Do you wanna get under the covers?
Yeah, heh, I do. That's a good idea.

Good idea.

Okay.

Oh, uh...

Okay.

All right.

[CHUCKLES]

Sorry. Sorry.
Guess I'm, uh, a little nervous.

Well, um...

Do you want me to, uh, you know?

No, I'm okay. I'm good.
I actually think I almost got it.

Oh.
Uh... Heh.

Oh, good.
Thank you for the offer.

Mm-hm.

It's okay. Right there. Right there.
Yeah. Yeah.

Sweet.

Oh, okay. Uh...
Yeah. Heh.

Ooh.

Hey. Uh...

No. I want this.

Me too.
Okay.

Okay.

[WATER RUNNING]

[WATER STOPS]

[GROANS]

Okay. Okay, no, no, no.
Okay.

Don't wig out. Don't wig out.
Don't wig out.

Okay.

Don't wig out.

At least the condom
didn't break.

I think that it can be better.

You know, like, more fun.
Eventually.

There's really no other
direction it could go.

Yeah.

But it wasn't your fault.

I didn't think it was.
It wasn't.

And it wasn't my fault either.

Why? Do you think it's my fault?

Oh.
Hey, no.

It's nobody's...
It's nobody's fault, okay?
Look, uh, I just...

I heard that sometimes
people don't quite fit together.

Hmm. And you think that that's us?
I don't know.

But I don't think that's how
it was supposed to go. Uh...

You know,
even if you've never...

It didn't feel right.

Well, I mean, right? Did it?
It felt weird.

It didn't feel good.

I mean, maybe you weren't
turned on enough or something.

I don't know how that shit works
or what's, like, normal, or...

I mean, with guys, the equipment's
pretty self-explanatory, you know?

But with girls, I just...
I had no idea it got so complicated.

It's like you practically need a fricking
schematic and a flashlight just to...

Okay. All right. Oh, my God.
I cannot believe that we just...

I mean, I've only known you for,
what, like one weekend?

Not even... Like 43 hours. I don't even
have a copy of your test results.

Test results?
I don't have test results. I'm a virgin.

Or I was a minute ago.

There are plenty of venereal diseases
you can get without intercourse.

Okay.

Okay, you know what?
This just...

This happened really fast,

and we got carried away
and we made a mistake.

And, you know, it's...
Look, it's not that big of a deal.

Not the end of the world.

Had to happen sooner or later, right?
So we just... We got it over with.

Wow, I guess I'll just do about anything
to put off my calculus homework.

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

Yeah, well, I should probably go.

Or else I'm gonna have to jump off that
roof when your parents come home.

I guess I'll call you later.

Yeah.

Wait.

Uh, you know,
why don't I, uh? Like, I'II...

I'll call you.

Because I've got a crazy few weeks
coming up with finals and everything,

and also, Ronny keeps calling me

and leaving these messages
apologizing,

so I don't even know
what's gonna...

You know, he said he wrote this song
that he wants me to hear and...

Yeah, it's about your knees.
Enjoy that.

And I know you wanna spend
as much time with your sister

as possible this summer before
you leave for New York, so, um...

So this probably isn't a great time
for you either.

To be getting into a...
Relationship.

Anything.

God. Just for the record,
I tried to stop it.

All right? You practically...

Practically what?

No, nothing.
I'm sorry it happened.

Yeah. Me too.

All right, great. I guess I'll see you.
See you, Dave.

[JOHN GOLD'S "VAMPIRE'S KISS"
PLAYING]

¶¶ 'Cause there's a red moon
Low in the sky ¶¶

¶¶ And a Santa Anna ¶¶

¶¶ We are love
We are taken for granted ¶¶

¶¶ I'm only here for this moment ¶¶

¶¶ Siri Guru Daveh Nameh ¶¶

¶¶ The things they do to me ¶¶

¶¶ Are they trying to make me bleed? ¶¶

¶¶ But I will never need them
Like they need me ¶¶

¶¶ Siri Guru Daveh Nameh ¶¶

Come on.

Shit.

¶¶ I wanna love you
I wanna love you ¶¶

¶¶ I wanna love you ¶¶

¶¶ I wanna love you ¶¶

¶¶ I wanna love you ¶¶¶¶

[LINE RINGING]

Hey, it's me. What are you doing?

Sex. Sex.

Here's what I know about sex.
You ready? You ready?

Sex is so much better

before you've had it.

Because before you've had it,
it's everything.

You know?
It's what you dream of.

I mean, your entire world is,
like, consumed in this...

Well, you guys know
what I'm talking about.

And then after...

[SCOFFS]

After, it's just...

It's just sex.

It's just... It's not even that, you know?
It's just a mess. It's a mess.

I wish I could just go back
to the beginning.

Beginning?
You mean Friday?

Yeah, Friday.

Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?
I'd do it all different.

All right. I'm gonna ask you
a serious question,

and I want you to think about it
before you give me the answer.

Is it possible that the problem
was that you're actually, like,

huge?

And you've never realized it before
because you've never had anything
to compare it to up close.

Would you like me to look
at your penis?

No. Trust me,
that's not the problem.

You're sure? All right.
Positive.

[SIGHS]

What?

It's better this way.
It's better. Think about it.

She doesn't go to our school
so you're not gonna run into her
in the hallways.

Nobody knows,
so nobody's gonna hear her version.

And in a couple of weeks,
it'll be prom, then graduation,

and before you know it,
you're on a plane to JFK.

So it was never gonna
last anyway.

And now it's done with.
And who knows, maybe years from now

you'll bump into her somewhere,
you know, in some bar.

You'll have a few drinks
and you'll laugh about it.

And that's it. That's life.

So the best thing to do is just let it go.
Let it go, David.

I think that's bullshit.

Oh, really? You do?
Total bullshit.

You met somebody. Somebody
very cool, from the sound of it.

How many weekends
have we spent driving around

looking for exactly that thing?

And it never happens.
It never happens.

But it did. So now what?

You hit one bump
and you bail?

Throw your hands up
and walk away?

Well, I mean, it was
a pretty major bump.

No, it wasn't. It was sex.

One time. The first time.
You don't know anything from that.

You're gonna tell me you don't think
it's worth giving it one more shot?

You think it's about letting it go. No.

It's about sticking with it
and being a man.

And I don't mean in no bullshit way,
like you're tough or you're a dick.

Being a real man.
I don't even know if I am.

You are. You're a man. Now act like it.

All right, let me ask you this.

A couple of days ago,
you were all about Jane.

You know, dear, sweet Janey.

And now I just wanna know,
before we go full commando here,

what is it that's so special
about this particular girl?

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

Ugh.

Oh, my God.
I'm so glad that you called.

You are? Oh, baby,
I'm so glad you're glad I called.

I just had to hear your voice,
my sweet girl's voice.

Ronny.

This has been the darkest day
of my life.

I feel like I don't even know
who I am anymore.

Things have been so messed up lately,
all this negativity around me.

Joel and Leon and my mom.
That judgmental bitch.

Anyway, I guess I'm just trying
to say I'm sorry.

So sorry. And I get it. I do.
You're not ready yet.

What?
To have sex.

And that's cool. I can wait.
No, I will wait for you.

A month, or maybe even two.
Whatever it takes.

It's late and I'm really tired.

I have to get up for school
in like four hours.

Is it that guy from last night?
Are you two, like, together now?

What? No.

We're definitely not together.

I just... don't think I can have
this conversation right now.

Sorry. I just...

No, I get it. You're tired.

Sleep, baby girl. Dream.

I mean, just please
do not break up with me, okay?

I mean, nobody gets me, I mean
really gets me, the way that you do.

I love...

[BAHAMAS' "TILL THE MORNING"
PLAYING]

¶¶ Lead me on, lead me on ¶¶

[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]

¶¶ Right now I just need something
You could be that one thing ¶¶

¶¶ So lead me on ¶¶

¶¶ Take me home, take me home ¶¶

¶¶ I'll be yours till the morning
Then leave without warning ¶¶

¶¶ So take me home ¶¶

Slut.

¶¶ Call me, please
Call me, please ¶¶

¶¶ I can't wait forever
You know better ¶¶

¶¶ So call me, please ¶¶

Morning.

¶¶ Leave me be, leave me be ¶¶

¶¶ You had your chance already ¶¶

¶¶ Someone else, I go steady
So leave me be ¶¶

Are you all right?
Yeah.

I met a boy.

A really good one.
And I think I drove him away.

Honey,
I'm sure you didn't.

No, I did. I messed up.

And now it's over before I...

I'm never gonna see him again.

Oh, sweetheart.

I love you.

Both of you. So much.

And I'm sorry
if I don't tell you it more.

Anyways, I should go
before I miss the bus.

You want me to drive you?
Maybe talk about it?

No. I sort of feel like
taking the bus.

[SIGHS]

I want you to remember every detail
of what just happened,

because it's never going
to happen again.

Okay, here's what it is.
Whoa. F...

Uh...
Oh, shit.

I'm sorry.
You.

You gotta, like, give a girl
some warning or something
when you do that.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I should have. I just, um...

It's just that
I've been thinking.

I don't know much
about relationships.

Neither do I.

I definitely don't know anything
about love.

I can't believe I talked like I did.

I don't.

All I want, like, in the world,
is to just keep talking to you.

I wanna know how your day was,
where you wanna eat,

and I wanna argue with you.

And I wanna hear all your theories,

even the ones that are just
completely, you know, wrong.

And I know it's not that simple.
I don't know, I just think...

No, I really believe
that if you'd just be willing

to continue having
this conversation with me,

then we can figure the rest out.

I'm gonna be late for school.

All right.

All right. Yeah.
Do you wanna give me a ride?

Uh...

Yeah.
It's not gonna make you late?

So I'm late.
What are they gonna do, right? Heh.

[CHUCKLES]

[HEAVY METAL MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Wow.
Oh, sorry. That's... Wrong song.

[TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

Nope, not that one either.
Here, this one. This one's good.

[OVER SPEAKERS]
¶¶ Whirlwind, run ¶¶

[THE NAKED AND FAMOUS'
"GIRLS LIKE YOU"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

¶¶ Further and further away ¶¶

You know, none of my theories
are wrong, by the way.

They just aren't
fully developed yet.

Okay.

And as far
as what you said before

about wanting to keep talking,

I'm obviously...

totally into that.

But I would also like to work
on the sex thing.

[EXHALES]

Definitely.

We can definitely work
on the sex thing. Heh.

I actually had a few ideas about that.
Me too.

So, you know?
Yeah.

¶¶ How would you cope
If the world decided ¶¶

¶¶ To make you suffer
For all that you were? ¶¶

¶¶ How could you dance if...? ¶¶¶¶

Okay.
Wait.

You're ridiculous.
Well, deal with it.

Hey, what's up?
Hey, Chase.

So?

So, what?

So do you wanna pick me up
after school?

What time?
Well, jazz band practice ends at 4.

If you make a crack about the fact that
I'm in jazz band, you're gonna regret it.

I'll be right here.

Cool.
Good.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

All right, then.
Yeah. So...

I should go.

Yeah, right.
Because first period...

Yeah.

Okay.
Okay.

[THE BELLE BRIGADE'S
"SWEET LOUISE" PLAYING]

Later, Hodgman.
Heh. Later.

¶¶ Did you hear about me? ¶¶

¶¶ Me and what I've done ¶¶

¶¶ I wrote a letter to sweet Louise ¶¶

¶¶ I confessed my love ¶¶

¶¶ And I thought that everyone
Would know by now ¶¶

¶¶ I've been alive long enough ¶¶

Ah, screw it.

¶¶ And everybody probably thinks
I'm crazy ¶¶

¶¶ Well, I'll just tell you now
That I fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ I just fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ It was like a movie
Watching her eyes read ¶¶

¶¶ What I wrote made sweet Louise
Feel weak in her knees ¶¶

¶¶ And I thought that everyone
Would know by now ¶¶

¶¶ I've been alive long enough
To know how things just get around ¶¶

¶¶ And everybody probably thinks
I'm crazy ¶¶

¶¶ Well I'll just tell you now
That I fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ I just fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ In that moment ¶¶

¶¶ You knew from her eyes ¶¶

¶¶ She don't feel the same ¶¶

¶¶ But, oh, my words
Were not in vain ¶¶

¶¶ 'Cause I can always say
Till the day I die ¶¶

¶¶ That I
I told her anyway ¶¶

¶¶ Well, I'll just tell you now
That I fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ I just fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ I just fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ I just fell in love ¶¶

¶¶ And I couldn't help myself ¶¶

¶¶ I just fell in love ¶¶¶¶

[¶¶¶¶¶¶]

SONGS