All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 05x04 - Rose Fights Back

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend" ♪

Dorothy, your father's
on the phone.

Ma, Pop's been dead
for 15 years.

Oh, you're right.
I'm getting old.

I meant, what's for dinner?

Mail call.

Rose.

Dorothy.
Thank you.

Here you go, Sophia.

Oh, I finally got
my membership card

from the Shoppers
Warehouse store.

Gloria at the museum
shops there,

but don't you have to buy
everything in large quantities?

So what? They give you great bargains.
Wow, look at this.

If you buy ten boxes
of adult diapers,

they're only eight dollars
a box.

Ma, you don't wear diapers.

A lot of my friends do.

I'll load up now and keep them
for stocking stuffers.

This is terrible.

Trick move from your
checkers-by-mail partner?

No, it's from the company
Charlie worked for.

They've gone bankrupt
and so has their pension fund.

I'm not gonna be getting
pension checks anymore.

I can't afford to live
without that pension.

Well, honey, now,
let's not panic.

I'm sure they can't
just cut you off.

She's right. There has to
be a good explanation.

Honey, you'll call them tomorrow,
everything will be fine.

Well, what if it's not?
What if I can't pay my own way?

What if I can't afford food?

What if I have to sleep
outside in some park?

You know, there's an old Italian
saying for times like this:

"Scapa, tu si mal fortuna."

What does that mean?

Get away from me,
you're bad luck.

Rose, you're home early.

Yeah. I called
Charlie's company today

and it turns out they have a legal
right to cut off the pension.

Well, I don't make enough at the counseling
center to live without that pension,

so I figured
I'd better get a new job.

I'm helping her look.
We're going through the classifieds

and cutting out ads that might
be of some interest to her.

"Single white male
seeks traveling companion."

"Tour of European cathedrals.
No prudes."

That's my pile.

What a day. Look at this.

Toothbrushes, 39 cents each.
I bought four gross.

Anybody in the mood
to remove some plaque?

Oh, Ma, you have
almost 600 toothbrushes here.

People don't use that many
in a lifetime,

and at your age...

Please, I'm way ahead of you.

I bought half pink, half blue,
so after I'm gone,

you and your brother Phil won't
fight to see who gets them.

So that's what it feels like
to be an heiress.

You're not cutting up
the obituaries, are you?

I wanna make sure my canasta
game is still on for tomorrow.

I'm looking for a job.
They cut off Charlie's pension.

He's dead.
How much does he need?

You know what gets me mad
about this whole thing?

All those years Charlie put into
that job just for the pension.

He used to say, "Rose, I
hate selling horseshoes,

but if I do it long enough,
you'll be set for life."

Your husband sold horseshoes?
I thought he sold insurance.

Oh, he sold insurance
for a while,

but Charlie
wasn't very good at it.

As soon as people said no,
he'd give up.

Insurance salesmen have to keep
going till they get a yes.

They have to keep talking
and talking and talking,

even if people
aren't listening.

He should have taken you
with him.

Anyway, after he was fired,
he worked for an iron company.

He sold other things, but
horseshoes were his specialty.

He had a sense of humor
about it.

We couldn't pass a horse
without Charlie saying:

"Can I show you something
in an Oxford?"

Ah, then he'd laugh
and I'd laugh.

Sometimes,
even the horse would laugh.

With them or at them?
Ma!

You know what you should do?
Call what's-his-name.

Ma, could you narrow that down
a bit?

The what's-his-name on TV,
on the news,

the one who glues his head
to the ceiling.

Oh, I think she means that
consumer reporter on Channel 8.

Enrique Mas.
That's the guy.

Hey, that's not such a bad idea.
He helps a lot of people.

I believe he must be the best
consumer reporter ever.

I didn't realize
you were such a fan.

Oh, my. Yes, Enrique Mas is a
great champion of the people.

Besides, he has all that
gorgeous black hair.

And those swarthy Latin
good looks

and the sexy way
he rolls his r's.

(rolls tongue) Enrique.

Boy, I'd love to get him
on a couch

made out of Corinthian leather.

The woman has such
lofty ambitions.

Thanks for the suggestion,
Sophia,

but there's really nothing
Enrique Mas can do.

They have the legal right
to cut off the pension.

No, I'll just have to get out there
tomorrow and start looking for a job.

Be sure you dress youthfully.
How come?

You're old.

Let's face it, honey.

Companies are not falling all over
themselves to hire women your age.

I wonder why it is people don't
like to hire older women?

Probably makes them
feel uncomfortable.

You know, they feel like they're
bossing their mothers around.

Ma, stop that!

It's understandable.

Pussycat, can you lend me $20?

Ma, this is the second time this week
that you've come to me for money.

Now, what happened
to your allowance?

Something's come up. A medical emergency.
Can I have the money?

What medical...
Ma, what's wrong?

I think I'm pregnant.

What happened?
The rabbit died laughing?

What do you need the money for?

They're having a special
at Shoppers Warehouse.

It's something I really need.
What?

Tube socks.

Ma, you know, this is
how Imelda Marcos got started

with that shoe thing.

Now, Ma, what is going on?

I don't know.
It makes me feel good.

In a strange way, shopping
there makes you feel immortal.

I don't follow.
Let's say you buy 20 cases of sardines.

This better be just an example.

Of course.

You get 20 cases of sardines,
you figure:

"God doesn't want me
to waste good sardines."

"He's gonna wait
till I finish the 20 cases."

That could take five, six years.

Yeah, well, why couldn't you
just eat one case slowly?

Silly, isn't it?

What in the hell are all those
sardines doing in the kitchen?

Oh, Ma!

Wait till you're my age.

We'll see what kind of straws
you clutch at.

Hi, honey. How did it go?

Not so good.

I looked all day
and came up with nothing.

I'm beat. Oh, honey.
Come on, sit down. Relax.

Can I get you
a sardine sandwich?

Maybe later.

I knew it would be rough looking
for a job, but not this rough.

You didn't find anything?
Oh, I found one job I wanted.

I would have been perfect for it,
but they told me I was too old.

What kind of job?
Assistant manager in a pet store.

I don't know why
they didn't hire me.

I worked in a pet store
in St. Olaf for ten years.

I mean, I was the one who thought
up big, squeaky toys for cows.

You didn't tell them that,
did you, Rose?

I didn't have a chance.

Before I could tell them my qualifications,
they told me I was too old.

Well, they can't do that.
That is age discrimination.

Rose, you can fight this.

What do you mean? What should I do?
I don't wanna make a fuss.

Well, then, call Enrique Mas and
let him make your fuss for you.

Right there on television.
You gotta stand up for your rights, Rose.

All right, maybe I'll call.
Rose.

Well, I just feel overwhelmed.

How could this have happened?

Charlie and I were so careful
with our money.

We saved. We never splurged.

OK, one year, we went to Chicago
to tour the stockyards.

But it was our 20th anniversary.
We had a romantic trip coming.

You must have been the envy
of every woman in St. Olaf.

Oh, it was more
than the stockyards.

We even got to see
where Crisco is made.

The point is, we thought
I'd have enough money

for the rest of my life,
as long as I had his pension.

Now the reality is
I probably have enough

for only a couple of months.

What's with the sardines?

Ma, how are we going to
get rid of all of this?

Don't worry. Tomorrow, we're getting
five cases of pickled onions.

Boy, life sure has a way
of throwing you curve balls.

When I was younger,
I never would have imagined

that I'd be worrying about money
at this stage of my life.

I used to think Stan
would take care of me.

I mean, we didn't have much saved, but
he was a darn good novelty salesman.

Sounds naive now to think that I
placed my hopes for the future

on a bald pinhead
with the morals of a maggot

who made his living
selling plastic dog-doo.

Well, at least I'm not bitter.

I always assumed
I'd be kept by a younger man.

It's not too late.
They get younger every day.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I don't know how much longer
I'll be able to pay the rent.

I can't live here anymore.
Now, I won't hear any more of this.

You will call Enrique Mas
and you will get that job

at the pet store
that you deserve.

And you will stay here with us
as long as we can afford it.

She's right.
Rose, you have to fight this.

You know, every morning,
when I leave the house,

I see this bag lady going
through the garbage

over on 135th Street.

She has everything she owns piled
in one of those old shopping carts.

Well, the other day,
for the first time,

I noticed she's about our age.

You know, you always feel sorry
for someone like that,

but I wondered, what did she do

to get herself
into a fix like that?

I thought, well,
she must be lazy.

Or she must be pretty stupid to let
something like this happen to her.

But the truth is...

she's me.

God, what am I gonna do?

Excuse me.
Can I help you?

Rose Nylund,
to see Terry Franco.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Nylund.
I'm Terry. Hi.

It was so nice of Mr. Mas
to see me on such short notice.

I'm sorry. Maybe you
misunderstood me on the phone.

I'll be helping you.

Enrique will get involved
and put you on TV

only if your age discrimination
case gets really ugly

and the company tries to discredit
you, drag your name through the mud

and make you look stupid.

I guess we can only hope.

OK, I'll need to get
some information from you.

Terry, are there any applicants for
the new production assistant's job

coming in this afternoon?
They'll be here at two.

Hi.
How do you do, madam?

I am (rolls tongue)
Enrique Mas.

Mrs. Nylund is here on an
age-discrimination complaint.

I can assure you, I will
try very hard to help you.

Could I ask you something?
I heard you mention

you're gonna be hiring
a new production assistant.

Could I apply for that job?

I'm a big fan of yours
and I respect your work.

I know I'd be terrific.

Oh, I'm sorry.

But I'm afraid you're just
not the right type.

The job requires someone
with great energy and drive

and quite frankly,
someone of your advanced age...

Wait a minute.
I'm here on an age-discrimination case

and you're telling me I'm too old?
Oh, it is not me.

It is (rolls tongue)
Enrique Mas.

I'm confused.
Please, let me explain.

You see, there are two mes.

There is Enrique Mas,
the dedicated consumer advocate,

fighting for justice
and equality.

And then there is
(rolls tongue) Enrique Mas,

the television personality who wants
to get out of this local station

and onto the networks so he can become
a really big fish in a big pond.

It is (rolls tongue) Enrique who
has (rolls tongue) reservations.

I can't believe it.
You're a fake.

I am not a fake.

Mrs. Nylund, ever since I was a
little boy, I wanted to be on TV.

Do you know what that's like
for a Hispanic kid?

Who were my role models?
Zorro and Ricky Ricardo.

A gay caballero and a man
who couldn't recognize

his own wife
in a fake mustache.

I swore that if I ever got on TV, I
would maintain the highest standards.

Enrique Mas demands the best.

Well, hold it right there!

You can't write me off just
because I'm not 30-something.

I have experience.
And wisdom. And insight.

I'd be perfect for this job.

You see,
I am the battered consumer.

I drive a Gremlin,
for God's sake.

I tell you what I'll do.
Will you accept a test?

You bet.

One of the most important parts
of this job is product testing.

I will give you a test
to do at home.

You will bring in the results,
and I will see how you do.

But I must warn you, both Enrique Mas
and (rolls tongue) Enrique Mas

demand that the results
be accurate in every detail.

Oh, thank you
very much, Mr. Mas.

You can call me
(rolls tongue) Enrique.

No, I don't think I can.

I don't know how to thank you all
for helping me with this test.

Pay us.
Ma!

It's our pleasure, Rose.

OK, what we have to do is try these
different hair-removal products,

evaluate their advantages
and disadvantages

and see which one
gets our legs the smoothest.

Sophia, why don't you
try the regular razor?

Dorothy, would you like to try this thing?
What is it?

Well, that wire vibrates

and it's supposed to whisk hair
away from below the skin line.

I don't know whether
I wanna use this.

It says it's gonna hurt.

Well, you can try it
on your right leg

and then use the hot wax
on your left one.

Why don't we just set
each other on fire?

Dorothy.
All right, all right.

Let's see if they sent
a bullet to bite on.

Your choice, Blanche.
Razor or cream remover?

Cheesecake.

This reminds me of the first
time I ever shaved my legs.

It was at a slumber party
when I was 11 years old.

What's a slumber party
without snacks?

Instead of cheesecake,
let's have oatmeal cookies.

Why? Because we have
so many of them.

Ma, you didn't.
I did.

That's it. That's it!
No more!

Now, I know that you feel that
shopping at Shoppers Warehouse

is some kind of
a religious experience for you,

but I absolutely forbid you
to ever go there again.

All right. All right.
Does this mean no cookies?

Well, as long as we own them...

Blanche, did you really
start shaving at 11?

That seems so young.

Oh, I did it on a dare.

You know, back where I come
from, everybody thought

that once you started shaving your
legs, why, you'd become loose.

So I shaved 'em.

What happened?
Oh, it was an old wives' tale.

I didn't become loose
for another year and a half.

I remember
when I started shaving.

I was 13, and I wanted to shave

because I was going
to a movie with Alan Steckler.

You remember him, Ma?
Small head, enormous lips.

Anyway, Ma told me that,
once I started shaving,

I'd never be able to stop.

I mean, she said I'd regret it
for the rest of my life

because my legs
would have bristles.

I was right.
By the time you were 16,

I could grate cheese
on your knees.

When did you start, Sophia?

Oh, late. Not till I came
to this country.

In my village, hairy legs
were a sign of beauty.

How do you account for that?

Dumb men, hairy women.

Actually, that's not
such a big surprise.

You know, a lot of those European
girls don't shave under their arms.

Is that true?
They just let it all hang out.

Really?
Bushy as can be.

Well, what do they look like
in a strapless dress?

Like Milton Berle, Rose.

There's nothing wrong with it.
It's perfectly natural.

Well, it's a little too natural
if you ask me.

I prefer to be smooth
under my arms

and from my ankle
to the top of my thigh.

Get outta here.

What?

You shave above the knee?

Well, of course.
Get outta here.

Surely, Rose, you have heard of
women shaving above the knee?

Get outta here.

Rose, you say that
one more time and we will.

I never heard of anything
like that before.

When men see that you shave your legs above
the knee, what does that say to them?

Hopefully, it says,
"Touch my leg."

That's in case they miss the
tattoo that says the same thing.

Boy, my mother would kill me
if I ever did that.

She never wanted me
to shave at all.

By the time
I got to high school,

the kids had made up
this really mean nickname for me

just because I had hairy legs.
What did they call you?

Rose with the hairy legs.

Kids can be so cruel.

It's almost dinnertime.

Now, what could be taking Rose
so long at that job interview?

I mean, if she's taking this long,
that's a good sign, isn't it?

I mean, how long does it take
to say no?

What are you asking her for?
She never said no in her life.

You know, just to be
on the safe side,

when she gets home, we shouldn't
ask her what happened.

We should just keep the conversation
in a positive direction.

That is a very good point.

I mean, she might be
totally devastated.

So no matter how bad the news,
let's just smile

and show her
that we believe in her.

Guess what.
Aw.

No, I got the job.

Rose, that's wonderful!
I don't know how to thank you.

Enrique Mas said my report
was accurate and concise

and very professional.

Oh, it's so exciting.

Tomorrow, I start comparing
artificial sweeteners.

And next week,
I get to test crash helmets.

You will leave us out of
that one, won't you, Rose?

Oh, that's wonderful, honey.
That's just wonderful.

You know what the best part is?

I get to stay here.
That's what worried me most.

I mean, I don't think
I ever really doubted

that somehow I'd wind up
on my feet,

but what worried
and scared me was that

I'd have to leave my friends
and my family.

Oh, honey. It scared me too, but
I told you you were welcome--

OK, OK, everybody.
Get washed up.

Rose, I knew
you'd get that job,

so I made a special dinner
to celebrate.

Sophia, that's so nice.
Don't mention it.

When I was shaving my legs last
night, it really made me feel good.

That you were helping Rose?

That I can still touch
my ankles.

What did you make
that's so special?

Sardine casserole with kind
of an oatmeal cookie crust.

I hope you like it.
There's a lot.