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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,500 This is Evan Scabetta. 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:11,500 I'm calling from Non-bottled Wine Beverage Monthly, a new publication. 3 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,200 I was just calling to inform you... 4 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:19,000 that your product has been selected as the best boxed wine on the market. 5 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,800 That's right, so all of us here at the magazine thought... 6 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:26,300 you should go ahead and send over a fuckin' shitload of it. 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,700 Oh, we love it. It's so good. 8 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,000 - We like-- - Merlot. 9 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,200 We love the merlot. 10 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:38,100 You're the best, Rita. You always have been. Thank you. 11 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,700 All right, boys. We've done this before. Let's do it again. 12 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,700 Simple, easy, by the book. 13 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,100 Meet back here in 20 minutes. 14 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,200 Holden University. 15 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,500 This was our territory... 16 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,000 and here we were, 48 days away from a diploma... 17 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:49,000 that would open doors for the rest of our lives. 18 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,300 We're one step closer to the American dream. 19 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,800 After today's scam. 20 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:38,900 Hey there! Mission Sports! Everybody smile for the camera! 21 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,100 It's gonna be on tonight at 8:00. Everybody smile! 22 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,500 Mission Sports 2-2 Bureau Sports Channel. 23 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,300 One camera, 24-hour-a-day sports coverage. 24 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,200 Yeah! Slow down. Slow down. 25 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,500 You guys wanna be on TV? Say hello to Mom! 26 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:18,300 We're on 'em, we're on 'em. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. 27 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:22,300 You're great. You look good. Big strides. Smile for the camera. 28 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,500 No athletics like amateur athletics. 29 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:45,800 I see the Olympics for you, baby. Everybody's a winner. 30 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,400 Right here, right here! 31 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,400 All runners cross the street! 32 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,200 This way, this way, this way! 33 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,400 This is a different route. 34 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,900 Beautiful! All right! You're looking good! 35 00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:53,400 New route! This way! Let's see the form! Big smiles! 36 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,900 Everybody cross the street! All runners cross the street! 37 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,100 New route! 38 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,700 - Watch where you're going, asshole! - Oh, yeah. 39 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,100 - My leg! - I can't believe it! 40 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:18,300 - Oh! You killed my tibia! - Oh, my God. 41 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,200 - What a travesty! - Oh, Lord! 42 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,200 Jesus, this looks bad. 43 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,500 He's never gonna make it. He's supposed to work in a kibbutz this summer. 44 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,100 - Whatever, but I didn't do anything. - Have mercy on my leg! 45 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,300 Keep lyin, buddy. We got it on tape. I might just call that number. 46 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,800 - I'm calling my supervisor. - Call a doctor while you're at it. 47 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:41,000 - Hey, I was in Desert Storm, mister! - God, it hurts! 48 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,100 -All of this... - You don't know anything about driving. 49 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,100 - to pass a test. - He broke my tibia! 50 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,600 He broke my tibia! 51 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:54,300 It's one of our favorite scams-- the worm in the apple. 52 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:57,300 You see, the key was stealing an official university blue book... 53 00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,700 which they kept under lock and key. 54 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:02,000 Now, if you had an extra blue book... 55 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,200 you could pretty much get away with anything. 56 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,500 And now, after this morning, we had our very own supply. 57 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,400 Okay, people, this is the midterm. 58 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,900 I t is 3 0 percent of your grade. 59 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,100 Now's the time to start panicking. 60 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,600 For those of you who don't know me, my name is Philip, I'm the head TA. 61 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,700 If you don't know me, that means you've never been to class. 62 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,800 Study materials need to go under our desk... 63 00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:29,100 as my minions pass out the test booklets. 64 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,100 Game time. Let me get some booklets. We need three. 65 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,000 That means our textbooks go under-- Exactly! 66 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,100 It's not open book. 67 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,400 We left junior high a long time ago. 68 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,800 Phase one: be invisible. 69 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,800 Don't make eye contact. 70 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,600 And our midterm... 71 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,600 begins now. 72 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,700 I gotta take a test. I gotta take a test. 73 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,400 Hi there. 74 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,100 You're in my seat. 75 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,400 - The seat was empty. - I was getting test booklets. 76 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,900 - Get out of my seat. - We already have test booklets. 77 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,900 Hi. Hello. Yeah. See, the test booklets are out. 78 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,500 So this conversation you're having isn't taking place. 79 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,000 So let's find a chair. There are plenty over there. 80 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,000 - He's in my seat, though. - Exactly. 81 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:21,600 And we're grownups, so we don't argue over seats. Why don't we go over there. 82 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,900 You just made my little black book. 83 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,800 Okay, go sit. Go sit. 84 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:39,200 Move, move, move. You're late now. Move. 85 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,000 - I'm sorry. Do you know him? - No. 86 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,700 - Are you sure? - You're fine. 87 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,900 - Good. Thank you. - Eyes on my own paper. 88 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,200 Joe Schmo has no answers for you. 89 00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,900 Man, this is a really hard test. 90 00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:59,800 I don't think I know one of these damn answers. 91 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,800 Good thing I'm not in this class. 92 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,300 See, I'm simply here to copy the questions down. 93 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,800 Phase two: human copier. 94 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,800 Look at me. I'm an anonymous blender-inner. 95 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,100 Phase three: 96 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,100 make the switch. 97 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,200 I leave the stolen blue book as a decoy. 98 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,400 And here? Here's where I made my mistake. 99 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,500 This is how it all started. 100 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,300 But, I mean, look at her. 101 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,300 That's the reason I went to college. 102 00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:45,900 I wrote my number down in case you wanna call me to talk about the test. 103 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,900 Or just talk about anything. 104 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:53,600 I gotta go. Here's my number. I want you to call me. 105 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,600 You know, tell me how the rest of the test went. 106 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,100 - You know? - Okay. 107 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,100 Just call me. 108 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,000 Phase four: sanction the exit. 109 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,000 - I have to go to the bathroom. - That's not allowed during the test. 110 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,500 I really have to go. 111 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,700 Tell you what. 112 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:20,000 Why don't you use that energy as motivation to finish your test. 113 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,200 Explosive diarrhea. 114 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,600 Okay, go. All right. And leave that stuff there. 115 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,700 Good luck. I mean that. 116 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,800 What you just saw was cheating. 117 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:38,800 Now I've got the questions, and all my roommate needs are the answers. 118 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,700 I just don't wanna get sloppy 600s. 119 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,700 I told you, Jeff... 120 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:47,200 you gotta work through gay porn before they let you set foot in hetero. 121 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,800 - Fellas. - Really? 122 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:52,200 Dave, is this true? You have to do gay porn before you work in straight porn? 123 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,600 - True. - What a dirty, despicable business. 124 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,300 - How'd it go? - It went well. 125 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,100 I slipped in, I slipped out. It was beautiful. 126 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:04,600 - I was fuckin' invisible. Relax. - You're sure? 127 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,900 Yeah, I was invisible. 128 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,700 Guys, this is like child's play. A baby could do this work. 129 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,300 Don't get flashy, Karl. 130 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,700 Nothing higher than an A-minus, or we dock you. 131 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,100 Look, I'm just saying-- 132 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,700 We pay you because you do phenomenal work, so fill out that physics test. 133 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,700 Maybe you wouldn't need someone to fill out every test form... 134 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,300 if you stopped smoking these doobies, smack joint heads. 135 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,700 Don't be so smug, Karl. There's a lot here you don't know about. 136 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,200 No. That does not agree with me. 137 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:41,800 Okay, harrumph, it's over-- I saw that. 138 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,400 Flip me off one more time, I'm taking away the test. 139 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:49,000 Pass 'em to your left. To your left! 140 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,000 Quickly. 141 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:54,200 And you may leave. I don't wanna see you anymore. 142 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,700 Enjoy your vacation. 143 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,500 Okay, the test is over. We're done here. 144 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:41,100 - So, how'd you do on the test? - Oh, who knows? 145 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,000 - What, you don't care? - I'm obsessing about this purity test. 146 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,700 - It's a magazine. - I missed skank by two points. 147 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,300 I don't think you have to worry about that. 148 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,800 Hey, hot boy. 149 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:56,400 I thought that was your sexy ass. Come here. 150 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,900 Ooh, you guys are so fuckin' hot. 151 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,400 - Give me some of that. - Some of this? 152 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:08,100 I was right. You're a hard person to follow. 153 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:12,300 I'm sorry, I don't think that we've met before. I'm Angela. 154 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,700 You like me? 155 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,700 We just took a test together. 156 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,400 You guys must've been in a zone when you were taking that test. 157 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,900 - We sat right next to each other. - Hey, what's going on? 158 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,600 How you guys doin'? 159 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,600 - We're fine. - Are you having a good day? 160 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:30,600 - Yeah. - Cool. 161 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,700 You guys know where Professor Markoe's office is? 162 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,900 Yeah, Professor Markoe's office? 163 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,400 I think it's right the "F" over there. 164 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,900 Can you see I'm having a god damn conversation? 165 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,800 Just back off and go do your stupid-ass thing. 166 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:54,100 The fact is, the midterm has already been, and you missed it. 167 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,600 You guys must not have heard me. 168 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,500 I'm Sam Schechter. I got hit by a truck today. 169 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,500 I heard all of that. 170 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,300 - What the heck is going on? - Professor Markoe, thank God. 171 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,300 Listen, I got hit by a truck today. 172 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,600 All I want is to take the midterm. 173 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,700 Hit by a truck? Are you okay? 174 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,900 He got hit by a truck! 175 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,900 Okay, but is he all right? 176 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,500 I got hit by a truck. I got a busted tibia. 177 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,500 My rib cage is very tender. 178 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,800 My testicle turned blue. 179 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:33,500 Why don't you drop your trousers and we'll examine 'em. 180 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:38,500 The colour of your balls won't change the fact that you missed the midterm. 181 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,300 If it'll help me take the midterm, I'm happy to show everyone my balls. 182 00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,000 We don't wanna see that. 183 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,400 Forget about looking at the balls. 184 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,800 You're gonna take the midterm. 185 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:52,400 And you are gonna let him take it at your desk. 186 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,500 -You'll have to move until he's through. -I gotta take it somewhere. 187 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,800 And I want you to give him all the time he needs. 188 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,400 Good luck, kid. 189 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,500 I'm tellin' you... 190 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,500 tell that motherfucker to go. 191 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:11,000 He is no damn good. I bet he got crabs. 192 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,200 Yeah, girl. Put on my hot boots, get my groove on. 193 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,800 - Yeah. - Well, I'm finished. 194 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,000 Think I did pretty good. 195 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,000 Shotgun. 196 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:31,000 Boys, to a very successful operation. Possibly one of our last. 197 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,600 Which I masterminded, by the way. 198 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,000 We'll give you that. 199 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,800 It's not too soon, I say. I think the well's sort a run dry. 200 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,800 Let's get the heck outta here. 201 00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:43,800 - You're ready to go to law school? - Absolutely. 202 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:47,600 Jeff's gonna get out too. He's gonna be a financial master of the universe. 203 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,900 - That'll help me get some fine bitches. - It's time to move on, man. 204 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,500 What do you have that's better than this? This is great. 205 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,500 This is great? This is a shit heap. 206 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,000 I gotta be honest. Best dorm on campus doesn't excite me much anymore. 207 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:03,000 Are you kidding? It took four years to build this place. This place is great. 208 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:06,400 You seem scared to move on 'cause you don't know what to do with your life. 209 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,500 -It's okay if you're afraid to graduate. -If you're afraid of the future. 210 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:14,300 You know what? This is going nowhere. Let's just celebrate our latest win. 211 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,900 - Celebrate how? - The usual way, of course. 212 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,000 The usual way. 213 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,500 Lenny's. 214 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,800 I'll get the birthday club cards. 215 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,700 I say "happy," you say "birthday." 216 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:18,800 - Happy. - Birthday! 217 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,300 When I say "birthday," you say "party." Birthday. 218 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,300 Party! 219 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,900 - Let's say it. Happy birthday. - Happy birthday! 220 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,800 - Let's party... - Hearty! 221 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:30,800 Party hearty. 222 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,400 Here's to an A-minus, boys, in physics. 223 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:37,300 - The easy way. - That's right. 224 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,400 That's Sam. Sam cheats for convenience. 225 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,500 At this school, if you can't pass a foreign language exam... 226 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,700 you have to spend the next two years taking courses at 8:00 a.m... 227 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,700 on the other side of campus. 228 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,600 Well, Sam does not wake up at 8:00 a.m.... 229 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,700 and never plans to. 230 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,200 The classroom is being threatened by fire. Run from this inferno. 231 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,800 Quickly, quickly! Everyone! You, last student, turn! 232 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,100 Good God, man, what is wrong with you? 233 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,600 You want to end up like burnt breakfast toast? 234 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,600 Your sacrifice puzzles and honors me. 235 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,800 I must leave now. I am a coward. Do not tell anyone. 236 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,000 It was Sam's idea to join forces. 237 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000 Alone we were just a couple of freshman cheaters... 238 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:24,200 but together we were dangerous. 239 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,800 I'm not an evil, lying genius. 240 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:30,900 I just happen to know a technique. I call it "The Seed of Doubt." 241 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,700 I 'm a commercial airline pilot. 242 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:36,500 Say it, repeat it, believe it. 243 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,500 Yeah, whatever. 244 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,800 No, no, I'm a commercial airline pilot. 245 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,100 I, ladies... 246 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,100 am a professional, commercial... 247 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,200 airline pilot. 248 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,400 - Cool! - Yeah. 249 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,800 Is he a pilot too? 250 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,700 F.B.I. 251 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,100 I got the ugly one. 252 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,100 Jeff bought in sophomore year. He marches to a different drummer. 253 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,700 Jeff's not exactly crazy about authority. 254 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,000 He's just crazy. 255 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:13,400 I don't want you to worry about finishing the exam. No one ever does. 256 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,900 That's the way I designed it, so just finish writing whenever you-- 257 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Time's up! Okay, that's it. Time's up. Close your books, stop writing. 258 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,800 Come forward with your papers immediately. 259 00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:25,900 Everybody in the back. 260 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,400 Everybody all the way in the back. 261 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,500 You. Yes, you. 262 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,000 Little Red Riding Hood. Congratulations. 263 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,300 You just got an "F '." Come on up. 264 00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,400 There's always one in every crowd who doesn't believe me. 265 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,400 You can stop writing, sir. I don't care if you have the cure for cancer. 266 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,400 It's fruitless. You will not pass. 267 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,300 Sir, congratulations. You have failed. 268 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,700 - Do you even know my name? - No, I don't know your name. 269 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,800 No, you don't. 270 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,500 What's your name? What's your name? 271 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,500 I've seen a lot of porno�s in my day. It's like a trade secret. 272 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,600 Next time you're jackin' off, you sit Indian style. 273 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,600 Believe what you want. At least I get out some. 274 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,600 You go through more tissues than a widow. 275 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,100 What? It's true. 276 00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:20,400 Who's the one who just said I've seen a lot of porn? 277 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:24,600 You are a rabid consumer of porn. They have your name on file. 278 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,900 You're the one who masturbates. I'm not the-- 279 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,700 Happy birthday or whatever. 280 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,900 What's up? 281 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,400 How'd you do on the test? 282 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,700 Well, I fucked up the gravitational constant. 283 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,400 Me too. 284 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,400 What's your name again? 285 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,900 Tom Weaver. 286 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,800 Can we help you with something, guy? 287 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,100 Oh, my God, how's your leg? 288 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,400 Obviously he's a lot better now. Thanks for your concern. 289 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,900 And if you're done trying to hide the baloney pony... 290 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,900 we've got some stuff to eat. 291 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,500 Happy birthday. 292 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,400 Yeah, dude. Happy birthday, man. 293 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,700 - Third one this week. - I'm proud of you. 294 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,300 - Who is that guy? - He's just a busboy. 295 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,000 Gimme seven! 296 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:47,400 Hey, you guys are about to enter into a world of pain. 297 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:50,700 You. I know what you did. I was there. I saw it. 298 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:54,100 - Move, or you're gonna get hurt. - It's that tweaked busboy, man. 299 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,400 I know what you did. I was sitting right next to you. Remember me? 300 00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,400 Hey, shorty. How's your leg feeling, buddy? 301 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,400 You're playing awfully good for having a broken leg. 302 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,900 Right, homeboy? I'm not kiddin' around, bitch. 303 00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:15,500 Okay, let's see the so-called proof. 304 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:20,800 I got the proof. You were there, Dave. Dave Goodman, 555-01 22. 305 00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,800 This is nothin'. 306 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,700 Keep it. I got plenty of copies. 307 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,700 Of course, if this were to get out, you guys would probably be expelled. 308 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,900 Do you really need a diploma? No. 309 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:35,900 But, you know, if you wanted to go to a law school, for instance... 310 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:37,900 that'd be pretty tough. 311 00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:42,800 Or be hired by a prestigious financial firm like Stockton, Upright & Falk. 312 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,500 I'm into that firm. 313 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,200 I know. I saw your name on the interview list. 314 00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:50,500 Good luck getting thatjob. They don't hire cheaters. 315 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,600 Hey, wait! Ethan, wait. Dave. 316 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,800 Dave, come on. 317 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,100 Okay. What do you want? 318 00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:03,600 I got a proposition for you. 319 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,100 You're obviously amoral... 320 00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:08,300 but certainly clever in your ways. 321 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:11,100 And you, you may have some... 322 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,600 people skills I may lack. 323 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,500 What do you want? Money? Free dry cleaning? Euro-pass? 324 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,000 No, I don't-- A Euro-pass? No. No! 325 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,400 I want you to get me a girl. 326 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,800 - A girl. - This is college! 327 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,000 Bag your own bitches. 328 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000 Angela's not a bitch! 329 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,400 Take it easy, man! 330 00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:38,500 Let him go. You gonna be good? 331 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:41,100 - Yes. Yes. Yes. - Okay. Back away. 332 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,600 I have copies. 333 00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:46,500 - I'm not afraid to expel you. - Take it easy. Relax. 334 00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:48,700 Give me a day. I need to think about this. 335 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,400 This is a tough one. Just give us the night. 336 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,600 They call me Cool Ethan. I live in Heineraker Hall. 337 00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:00,700 All right, cool. We'll find you. 338 00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:02,400 All right? 339 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:10,100 I didn'tlike being blackmailed by "Cool Ethan"... 340 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,600 but he did have good taste in women. 341 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:16,800 Are you fucking insane? This is a major breach of security. 342 00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:19,600 This guy could have us kicked out of college, man. 343 00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:22,100 Look, we will get him the girl. 344 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,300 Look, let me explain something to you. 345 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:27,300 My college career is a house of cards... 346 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:31,300 glued together with thousands of lies, and now it's being threatened... 347 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,600 - Shut up! - by some schoolboy with a crush? 348 00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,600 We'll get him the girl. Relax. 349 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:39,500 I've been watching you everywhere you go. 350 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,500 Soon you're gonna be mine, aren't you? 351 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,900 Who's that? That's the most beautiful girl in the world. 352 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,900 I like you. 353 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,800 Everything here, you touched it, baby. 354 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:55,300 We're gonna get married one day and have 23 little kiddies. 355 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,600 And I'm gonna get a job at Stockton, Upright & Falk... 356 00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:59,900 and be so rich that you're gonna love me forever. 357 00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:02,800 And we're gonna have sex in my bedroom 358 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:11,500 Guys, we're a team. Back me up. What do you say, huh? 359 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:16,200 Just promise me this has nothing to do with the girl. 360 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,600 Hey, this has nothing to do with the girl. 361 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,200 Don't you fuckin' "Seed of Doubt" us, man. 362 00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:27,400 This has nothing... 363 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,900 to do... 364 00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:32,300 with the girl. 365 00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:39,300 Okay. I'll buy it. 366 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:43,200 Thanks. Jeff, I got a job for you. You'll start tomorrow. 367 00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:46,300 - Sam, come on. I know you're in. - Fuck. 368 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,600 Yo, wake up. 369 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,700 - I brought you coffee. - I don't touch that stuff. 370 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,400 - Can I come in? - No. 371 00:24:58,500 --> 00:25:01,800 No one comes into Ethan's room. Ethan's rules. 372 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,100 What's that smell? 373 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,800 Maybe it's the smell of your ass getting kicked out of school. 374 00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:11,800 Well, enough of this gay banter. 375 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:14,000 - We're gonna get you the girl. - On what day? 376 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,500 Well, let's say on Monday. 377 00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,900 - Tuesdays are better. - Tuesdays-- 378 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,000 - It'll be a Tuesday. - Great. 379 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,000 You're smart. I like you. 380 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:25,000 I'll probably give you a nickname. 381 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,600 We needed a plan to get into Angela's room, so Jeff knocked. 382 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:37,500 Yoo-hoo! It's Steve Pasternak looking for Angela. 383 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,700 - Angela, please. - Do I fuckin' know you? 384 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,100 I lent Angela my notebook because I take such "world-famous" notes. 385 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,200 So I was wondering if I could-- 386 00:25:45,300 --> 00:25:47,300 Are you busy with something? 387 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,500 Yeah. I was masturbating. 388 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000 Masturbating. In the dorms. 389 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,600 Well, that's what you get when you go to art school. 390 00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:01,700 What do you want, her room? Right over there. 391 00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:06,400 - Thank you. - Don't touch anything. 392 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,000 So, do you know what the book looks like? 393 00:26:11,100 --> 00:26:14,500 Let me tell you what it looks like. It's a very distinctive note-- 394 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:17,500 Some of my notebook had her handwriting in it. 395 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,900 There's really nothing here. Someone's going to have to make contact. 396 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000 I will break, I will enter... 397 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,600 I will torch, I will shatter, I will rifle... 398 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:42,600 I will pillage, I will probe... 399 00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:46,100 but I'm really not comfortable just talking to a girl. 400 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,100 You know what, boys? 401 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,100 Why don't you just let me take care of it? 402 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,600 You treat a hot girl like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud. 403 00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:05,200 Watch where you're going, you skanky-ass bitch. 404 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:07,000 - Cocksucker. - Slut. 405 00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:09,000 - Butt-wipe. - Ho. 406 00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:10,700 Monkey boy. 407 00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:21,400 Maybe I should make the contact. What do you think? 408 00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:22,600 Sam? 409 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:28,600 Swirling gases growing hotter and hotter... 410 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,800 until it reaches a critical temperature... 411 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,500 and transforms itself in to the most awesome sight in the universe. 412 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,500 What is this sight called? Anybody? 413 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,800 Remember me? Dave. I'm a friend of Ethan's. 414 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,800 - We're in the middle of class. - You know. Cool Ethan. 415 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,700 Here. These are for you. Hey. 416 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,200 Look at the matches. He's in the inside. 417 00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:01,800 - That's Cool Ethan. - I don't know who Ethan is. 418 00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:03,700 You don't know who Cool Ethan is? 419 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,100 You, our new friend with the pipe. 420 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,100 What's the formula for finding critical mass? 421 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,700 Keep 'em. 422 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:17,500 True. 423 00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:26,400 - I don't know, man. - Hello, dark angel. 424 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:29,200 Fuckin' dinner on a budget. 425 00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:30,400 What'd you guys get? 426 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,100 I got some term papers, some E-mails and this "dream guy" survey. 427 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,200 - I don't know what it means. - This shit is cheesier. 428 00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:40,200 You're right. 429 00:28:40,300 --> 00:28:44,000 Dream guy, huh? "Intelligent, good-looking, smart, funny." 430 00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:47,100 Sam, where'd you say she was from? 431 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,800 She's a local. 432 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:53,400 A local, huh? Looks like I'm gonna be making a visit to the Patton's house. 433 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,500 - Charles Patton? - Yes. 434 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,400 Ron Mathius, US Census Bureau. 435 00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:03,400 You've been selected for a personal information session. 436 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,200 - Is that bad? - No, that's good, sir. 437 00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:10,200 - Aren't you young for government work? - I'm not a GS-1 1 yet, no. 438 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,900 - I'm just a GS-4, but-- - GS-4! 439 00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:14,900 - Shall we do it? - Let's get it on. 440 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:17,400 - All right, then. - Come in. 441 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,900 We at the Census Bureau like to dig a little deeper... 442 00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:22,500 find out the stuff that just doesn't translate to paper-- 443 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,500 Wow! What a beautiful home. 444 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,000 Well, then, you should meet the decorator. 445 00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:30,100 Ron Mathius, Census Bureau, my wife Valerie. 446 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,300 - Great job. Yeah. - Oh, thank you. 447 00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:38,000 - Would you like a drink? - Yes! 448 00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,000 Well, you're gonna get a drink. 449 00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:42,200 That's adorable. 450 00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:45,900 - This is your only female dependent? - Yes. 451 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,400 In that case, I'm gonna need a passport, a birth certificate... 452 00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:53,600 social security number, diary, vaccination reports and... 453 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,400 that pretty much wraps it up. 454 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:59,300 - Okay, let me go see what I can find. - That would be a really big help. 455 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,600 Wonderful. Super. 456 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,700 He really is a sweet man. 457 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,700 - He's a sweetheart. - Yeah. 458 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,700 He's great. 459 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,200 This is a very lovely house you have here. 460 00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:12,600 - Oh, thank you. - You're welcome. 461 00:30:12,700 --> 00:30:14,800 - I like to decorate. - I can see that. 462 00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:16,900 - And I do my own gardening. - Your own gardening? 463 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000 - And decoupage. - Decoupage? 464 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:22,400 I love to suck cock. And I arrange flowers too. 465 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,800 Where's those school records, honey? 466 00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:27,800 In the back of her closet, in the shoe box. 467 00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:31,200 Shoe box! Yes! I knew that. 468 00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:32,900 Oh, shit. 469 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,400 What now? 470 00:30:36,900 --> 00:30:39,100 "My ideal guy has... 471 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,200 child like wonder, maturity... 472 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,000 blue eyes, honesty... 473 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,000 knows what to say without being told." 474 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:52,000 Does that sound like anybody to you? 475 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 Forest Whitaker? 476 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,800 Dave. 477 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,900 What the hell are you doing? 478 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,900 House rules. You don't make your own drinks. Valerie makes your drinks. 479 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,500 Where is Valerie? 480 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,500 Well, while you're back there-- 481 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,600 He's not gonna sell us out for a girl. 482 00:31:13,700 --> 00:31:15,700 - He might. - I don't think he will. 483 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,700 -He might. -I know Dave, and I don't think he will. 484 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,200 - Thank you. - Let me show you-- 485 00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:24,600 You know what? I know where the door is. You have a pleasant day. 486 00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:27,100 I'm gonna-- Thank you. Good-bye. 487 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,600 No, thank you. Thank you for coming. 488 00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:35,600 And where have you been hiding all this time, my little monkey? 489 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:49,000 I got lucky at her parent�s house and hit the mother lode of information. 490 00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:51,000 I mean, Angela was perfect-- 491 00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:55,300 4.0 GPA, volunteer at a hospital and a homeless shelter. 492 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,300 I mean, the girl's never even had a cavity. 493 00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:03,400 Okay, I 'm done. "X" marks the spot. I 'm here. Peace. 494 00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:06,100 Dudes, I 'm breaking off so I can find my homeys. 495 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,200 - Whatever. - Okay, cool. 496 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,200 - So, what's the status with the girl? -Just a second. 497 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,500 - Go with the hospital? - Yeah. 498 00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:20,200 So she volunteers at this hospital-- 499 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:22,800 Nope. Oh, no. No hospitals. 500 00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:25,800 - No hospitals. - You can talk to her at the hospital. 501 00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:27,700 What would me say? 502 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,000 You're right. She wouldn't like you. So we're gonna trick her. 503 00:32:30,100 --> 00:32:32,900 We're gonna tell her you have a girlfriend. 504 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,600 - It's less threatening. - Find a new plan. 505 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,600 I'm kicking you guys out unless you find a new place. No hospitals. 506 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,300 You're not getting me to go to a hospital. 507 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,400 - It's a beautiful hospital. - That's what they said before. 508 00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:01,000 - Angela, you're a big help. - Thanks. 509 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,600 Ethan. 510 00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:07,200 Ethan. Right. From, um-- 511 00:33:07,300 --> 00:33:09,800 - Physics. - Yeah. 512 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,600 - How are you? - I'm cool. 513 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:16,900 I didn't know that you volunteered here at the hospital. 514 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,400 Well, I don't. I'm here 'cause you're here. Just kidding. 515 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:22,400 I just hate watching people suffer... 516 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,500 so I figure why not put things in perspective and help out, you know? 517 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,300 My girlfriend's also a doctor up in Boston. I think I love her. 518 00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:30,300 - Oh, really? - Yeah. You need any help? 519 00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:36,300 Hi, Mrs. Van Graf. I'm Angela, a student volunteer here. 520 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,300 We brought you your lunch. 521 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,700 Well, I don't want any lunch. 522 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,500 Okay, that's fine. We don't have to have lunch. 523 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:47,200 We could just have a conversation, learn more about you. 524 00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:50,600 - I'm Ethan. - I don't want to talk either. 525 00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:52,600 I'm sure there's a lot we could talk about. 526 00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:54,100 We could watch TV. 527 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:59,300 No, actually, I think maybe we should learn more about Mrs. Van Graf here. 528 00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:01,400 Like, are you from this area? 529 00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:03,300 Hell no. 530 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,600 - I came here for work. - What did you do? 531 00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:07,500 I worked the docks. 532 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,500 See? She worked on the docks. That's fascinating. 533 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:13,100 I mean, most women weren't the least bit interested-- 534 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,200 I used to be a whore. 535 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,400 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Holy-- Are you okay? 536 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:27,100 - Are you okay? - Get Dr. Danvers! 537 00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:32,800 - Ethan's gonna take care of this. - Go get Dr. Danvers! 538 00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:34,800 - I'll be right back. - I'm gonna stay. 539 00:34:34,900 --> 00:34:36,800 I'm new, so bear with me. 540 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:40,400 Oh, I'm so hot. I'm overheating. 541 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,900 - Do you need a Fresca? - No, I don't need a Fresca. 542 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,400 - What can I get you? - A sponge bath. 543 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,400 - Over there. - A sponge bath? 544 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,800 - Yeah. - Well, I've only sponged myself, but-- 545 00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:53,200 - Sponge bath. - Okay, here I come. 546 00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,200 Holy-- 547 00:34:55,300 --> 00:34:58,400 Oh, sponge me. 548 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,200 Oh, so very hot. 549 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,900 Is that better? 550 00:35:03,900 --> 00:35:05,900 - Yes. - You like that? 551 00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:08,000 - You've got great hands. - Oh, thank you. 552 00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:10,000 You've got a great rack. 553 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:12,000 So, you're cooling off, right? 554 00:35:12,100 --> 00:35:14,200 No, I'm just getting hotter. 555 00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:17,400 - Okay, so, just on the boobies? - Great sponger! 556 00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:20,600 - Wanna make sure we got everything. - Oh, you got it. 557 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,500 - What are you doing? - Sponge bath. 558 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,900 - That is against hospital regulation. - Let a professional do that. 559 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,500 - You're not supposed to be doing that. - Put the sponge down. 560 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,900 - This is his first day. - The dirty old whore told me to do it. 561 00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:34,700 Get away from the patient! 562 00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:41,700 And then it just so happens that they walk in when I'm sucking on her nipple. 563 00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:46,500 So you fingered an old lady? 564 00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:49,100 She was asking for it. 565 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,600 It's totally fixable from where I'm standing. 566 00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:54,800 How hard can it be? I mean, right, Sam? 567 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,000 Dave, could you talk to Angela for me? 568 00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:59,000 Yeah, I could talk to her. 569 00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,500 I was hoping you'd say that... 570 00:36:02,500 --> 00:36:05,500 'cause I'd really hate to kick you guys out of school. 571 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,400 All right, dudes. See you later. 572 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,300 You. 573 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,900 You were right. We should study together. 574 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,500 - I never said that. - It'd be a good idea. 575 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,100 - So you use my notes, I do the work-- - I'm not gonna use your notes. 576 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,100 To tell you the truth, I've got a photographic memory. 577 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,200 I mean, I practically know everything. 578 00:36:31,300 --> 00:36:33,200 Try me. 579 00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:35,800 - We don't have to do this. -Just try me. 580 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,300 - Okay, what's the fastest land mammal? - Cheetah. 581 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,300 What's the only country to straddle two continents? 582 00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:42,900 Turkey. I got one. 583 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,100 A guy and his son are driving and they get in an accident. 584 00:36:46,100 --> 00:36:49,100 - They go to a hospital-- - And the mother was a doctor. 585 00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:50,900 You see? We got chemistry. 586 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,700 Wow. Did you feel that? 587 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,700 Yeah, it's electric. 588 00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:59,400 All right, there's a study group Wednesday nights. 589 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,400 507 Obal Hall. 590 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,700 Put that in your photographic memory. 591 00:37:11,700 --> 00:37:15,200 - What about this? - Is this a study group or a date? 592 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,800 It's a study group. 593 00:37:17,900 --> 00:37:21,500 I just invited that guy Dave. 594 00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:24,500 Hypothetically, if there is no Ethan, she's not your type? 595 00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:25,800 She's not my type. 596 00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:28,300 Her gorgeous face and pert breasts disgust you, right? 597 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,800 The thing is, she's got this-- 598 00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:36,600 Are you gettin' the special tingle from this boy? 599 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,600 You're getting the special tingle! 600 00:37:40,700 --> 00:37:44,000 - It's not the tingle that worries me. - What is it? 601 00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:46,800 It's the guy. 602 00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:48,700 You start to change for somebody... 603 00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,600 and before long they change you. 604 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,700 - You know, and this is-- - Right, right, right. 605 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,800 - This is who I am. - That's interesting. 606 00:37:54,900 --> 00:37:58,800 You know my policy. You gotta show the boobs and work the ass. 607 00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:01,200 I have no boobs. 608 00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:03,100 You're right. We'll work the ass. 609 00:38:06,300 --> 00:38:09,300 -Hi, Angela. -This is Dave. He's gonna study with us. 610 00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:11,000 Like David and Goliath. 611 00:38:11,100 --> 00:38:14,100 You know, maybe you're an expert in astrophysics... 612 00:38:14,100 --> 00:38:16,100 but some of us could use some study time. 613 00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:19,000 Who really cares about this crap? 614 00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:21,600 About a billion Alpha Centaurians. 615 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:26,000 I am so sick of people sitting in a room... 616 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:30,400 studying and wasting the most important years of their life... 617 00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:33,200 worrying about what some dipshit is gonna say on a test. 618 00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:36,300 This is where it's at. We should really get out. 619 00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:39,300 So, the concerns of the little people don't apply to visionaries like you? 620 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:43,400 It's wasn't you. It was the guys in the room. It was hot in there and-- 621 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:47,500 - You're holding my hand. - Well, we might hit a patch ofice. 622 00:38:52,100 --> 00:38:54,800 - So I got this plan. - What's the plan? 623 00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:00,900 I plan to take you to this place where you can actually study the real thing... 624 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,300 and not what's in the textbook. 625 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,900 What do you say? 626 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,400 - I'd say it's a good plan. - All right, then. 627 00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:10,700 What one's that? The one that looks like the Death Star. 628 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:13,800 That's Castratia. 629 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:20,000 The myth has it that she's the most beautiful of all the goddesses... 630 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,000 and any mortal man who would try to court her... 631 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,300 she would slice his manhood off. 632 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,800 - Come on, no. - No, seriously. 633 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,800 - No. Come on. - Yes. Seriously. 634 00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:34,800 - Really? - No. 635 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,300 You know what? My arm's getting numb. 636 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,000 Oh, I'm sorry. 637 00:40:09,100 --> 00:40:11,000 - Sorry. - That's okay. That's fine. 638 00:40:11,100 --> 00:40:13,700 It does that, you know. 639 00:40:21,900 --> 00:40:24,300 Was that wrong? 640 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,000 No. No, I mean-- 641 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,200 Because-- I'm sorry. I just thought that-- 642 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:32,800 Let me just explain. 643 00:40:32,900 --> 00:40:34,600 I got this friend, and-- 644 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,800 He really likes you, and I cannot do that to him. 645 00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:42,000 You're a very beautiful girl, but, you know, he's-- 646 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,300 - I grew up with him-- - What friend? 647 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,800 His name's Ethan. You don't know him? Everybody knows him. 648 00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:51,600 I know Ethan. 649 00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:54,000 He's a great guy, and-- 650 00:40:54,100 --> 00:40:58,500 I guess I just don't understand what Ethan has to do with... 651 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,700 you and me. 652 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,200 Give him a chance. 653 00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:06,400 You'd really get along with him. 654 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,400 You know, Cool Ethan. 655 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,300 Okay, Dave. 656 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,100 She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes 657 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,300 She'll be comin' 'round the mountain 658 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,100 She'll be comin' 'round the mountain 659 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,000 She'll be comin' 'round the mountain 660 00:41:24,100 --> 00:41:26,100 When she comes Now you! 661 00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:27,500 She'll be ridin' six white horses 662 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,100 When she comes 663 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,800 She'll be riding six white horses 664 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,700 When she comes 665 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,400 She'll be riding six white horses 666 00:41:34,500 --> 00:41:36,400 She'll be riding six white horses 667 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:39,900 She'll be riding six white horses 668 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,900 When she comes 669 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,900 -Jeff, it's Dave. - Yeah? 670 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,300 - What were you doing? - Nothing. Nothing at all. 671 00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:51,200 Check out Ethan's schedule for me. Where is he now? 672 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:53,700 Yeah, he should be heading for the library right now. 673 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,200 - Awesome. Thanks, man. - Don't worry about it. 674 00:41:58,300 --> 00:41:59,400 Where were we? 675 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,200 You. Come here. 676 00:42:08,300 --> 00:42:10,700 Have you talked to her? Does she understand? 677 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:14,800 She was a little suspicious at first, but I'm dealing with it. 678 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,300 This is so "F"-ed up. 679 00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:19,300 You said you could get me a complete profile of what she wants in a guy. 680 00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:22,200 How do you know that she's "the one"? 681 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,700 I just do. 682 00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:27,700 Besides the fact that she's beautiful, smart and funny, how do you know? 683 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,200 Because of the way she smiles. 684 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,200 Because of her smile. 685 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,700 Because when I close my eyes all I see is her face laughing and moving... 686 00:42:36,700 --> 00:42:40,000 and screaming and screaming and screaming... 687 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 and screaming and screaming. 688 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,200 - I thought you said you loved her. - Why do you care? 689 00:42:44,300 --> 00:42:46,900 - I'm just trying to figure it out. - Yes, I love her! 690 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,400 - Yes, I love her completely. - You love her. 691 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,000 And I hate her completely. 692 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,500 But that's something I want to work on with just her, me and her together... 693 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:56,000 in a locked room. 694 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,300 So bring me the girl, Dave, or you and your friends are goin' down. 695 00:43:08,700 --> 00:43:10,400 We have plenty to eat. 696 00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:12,800 Vegetarians on this side, meat over here. 697 00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:14,800 Hey, how are you, Bill? 698 00:43:14,900 --> 00:43:16,800 - How's everything going? Good? - Okay. 699 00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:19,900 Angela? Weird! 700 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,300 Ethan, what are you doing here? 701 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,600 Well, I'm in the food service industry and I like bums, so it's kinda my duty. 702 00:43:26,700 --> 00:43:29,100 Okay. 703 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,400 - Angela? - Yeah. Hi. How are ya? 704 00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:36,000 While I've got you here, could I ask your advice on something? 705 00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:38,000 Yeah, sure. What's up? 706 00:43:38,100 --> 00:43:41,800 Well, it's kind of about my girlfriend Stephanie. 707 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,200 Oh, yeah, your girlfriend. 708 00:43:43,300 --> 00:43:46,200 I just need a woman's POV on the whole "sitch." 709 00:43:46,300 --> 00:43:49,800 Actually, you know what? Can I talk to you about something? 710 00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:50,800 Sure. 711 00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:54,900 I kinda wanted to talk to you about us, if that's cool. 712 00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:56,900 Yeah, fine. 713 00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:58,900 I know you don't have a girlfriend, Ethan. 714 00:43:58,900 --> 00:44:00,900 And I know that you like me. 715 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:04,100 You know, this is kinda-- Can I just be honest? 716 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,200 Go ahead, go ahead. 717 00:44:07,300 --> 00:44:09,500 I really like someone else. 718 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,500 Do you-- Did you-- 719 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:16,200 Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I led you on. 720 00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:20,700 Angela, I like you as a friend. 721 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,300 You're the sweetest thing. 722 00:44:22,300 --> 00:44:23,600 - Oh, my God. - Really? 723 00:44:23,700 --> 00:44:25,600 Yes, you completely misinterpreted everything. 724 00:44:25,700 --> 00:44:27,600 You're not my type. 725 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,500 - Don't worry. - God, I'm so embarrassed. 726 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,500 It happens all the time. It's cool. 727 00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:34,200 I'm really happy that we got this cleared up... 728 00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:36,400 because the guy that I like is your friend Dave. 729 00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:38,500 - Dave! - Yeah! 730 00:44:38,500 --> 00:44:40,600 Fudge! 731 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:44,000 I can't stop thinking about him. I can't shut up about him. 732 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,300 I know! You can't shut up about him! 733 00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:50,300 - You want me to go talk to him? - Would you really? 734 00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:54,700 No problem. I'll put it in my book. I'll say, "Talk to Dave about Angela." 735 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,500 Don't worry. 736 00:44:56,500 --> 00:45:00,000 Come here. Let's get these lousy sons of bitches something to eat, huh? 737 00:45:05,100 --> 00:45:09,300 Maybe she needs a little sponge bath. She's so dirty. 738 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,100 Put the underwear on your head, Ethan! 739 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,300 Please! Oh, Ethan, put the underwear on your head! 740 00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,600 - No! No! - I love it! 741 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,900 You shut up, Dave! You shut up, Dave! 742 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,300 Does that feel good? 743 00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:24,300 Does that feel good? 744 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,700 Ethan, what are you doing? 745 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,300 I'm not gonna eat that shit, you fuckin' retard. 746 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,100 No one calls me a retard, you freakin' hobo! 747 00:45:38,700 --> 00:45:39,800 Get his shoes! 748 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,300 It's still 22 to 3, mine. 749 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,500 I think we could do better than that. 750 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,600 Come on! 751 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,100 What is that, man? You wearing musk? 752 00:45:53,100 --> 00:45:56,700 Oh, yeah. I'm going to sing with this band tonight. 753 00:45:56,700 --> 00:45:59,300 - What? You don't sing. - No, I sing. 754 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,700 - Bullshit. You don't sing. - I sing! 755 00:46:01,700 --> 00:46:03,700 I sing. 756 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,900 - If you sing, right now sing. - I'm saving my voice. 757 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,100 Hello! Hello! 758 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,100 Reanna? 759 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,700 - Ethan. - Yup, and I've got gifts. 760 00:46:17,700 --> 00:46:19,400 You just let your self in? 761 00:46:19,500 --> 00:46:22,700 Angela, I feel really bad about what happened today with the bums. 762 00:46:22,700 --> 00:46:25,400 Ethan, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm already over it. 763 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,400 No, Angela, it's not okay. 764 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,400 I'm bad! 765 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,800 - That's really clever, Ethan. - Take that. I got it for you. 766 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,800 I wanted to be sure that you and I are best friends... 767 00:46:40,900 --> 00:46:42,900 No matter what. 768 00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:45,400 - Ethan, that's a troll. - Gnome it's not. 769 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,900 All right, I have to go now. 770 00:46:49,900 --> 00:46:50,900 Wait. 771 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,300 One more thing. A wee leprechaun. 772 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,800 Okay, that one I don't get. 773 00:46:57,900 --> 00:46:59,600 I'll be your best friend... 774 00:46:59,700 --> 00:47:02,200 until you steal my pot of gold! 775 00:47:04,500 --> 00:47:06,100 Don't do that. 776 00:47:06,100 --> 00:47:09,300 - I'm just kidding. - Okay, time to go. Yeah. 777 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,200 - Okay. - Remember that favour? 778 00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:14,500 - Talking to Dave? - Yeah. 779 00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,500 Don't. I'll handle it. 780 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,100 I'm gonna see him tonight, so I think it'll be better if I handle it. 781 00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:21,100 Oh. You're gonna see him right now? 782 00:47:21,100 --> 00:47:23,100 - Really? - Yeah. 783 00:47:23,100 --> 00:47:26,100 Well, that frees me up. Great. 784 00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:28,100 I hope you enjoy the presents-- 785 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,500 Let me just take this moment and say one thing. 786 00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:45,300 We have, like, three weeks till the exam, and-- 787 00:47:45,300 --> 00:47:48,300 I wrote the damn mock exam! I gave it to you! 788 00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,300 "I wrote the mock exam"? 789 00:47:50,300 --> 00:47:52,800 Hey, let's get out of here. 790 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,800 - No. - Yeah. 791 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,700 - No. - No? Come on. 792 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,700 Please? 793 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:02,600 I'll take you somewhere. 794 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,700 Oh, my God! Thank God! I thought you were with Dave! 795 00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:37,200 Oh, baby. 796 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:41,300 Yeah? So what? 797 00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:48,000 I don't know. I don't want to stop loving you. 798 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,200 I mean, where are you? 799 00:49:50,300 --> 00:49:52,700 Don't make me put you under lock and key. 800 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,800 I know you're a good girl. 801 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:58,100 You'd better not be doing something you're not supposed to. 802 00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,300 The big bad wolf's gonna find you. 803 00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,600 Been using a new shampoo? 804 00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:22,600 Playa little game! 805 00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:25,700 Duck, duck, goose, huh? 806 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,900 Duck, duck... 807 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,100 goose! 808 00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,700 Oh, shit. 809 00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,800 Something's wrong. 810 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,400 -Jesus Christ. - And we're back! 811 00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:25,000 I want to be polite... 812 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,600 but how many decoupage gifts can you receive? 813 00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,800 I don't know. I guess she makes my dad happy. So what can I say? 814 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,800 So you like living in the dorm? 815 00:51:34,900 --> 00:51:36,800 My God, I was so happy to get out of the house. 816 00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:39,700 My stepmother drives me crazy. 817 00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:43,900 - My real mom lives in St. Louis. - St. Louis? 818 00:51:43,900 --> 00:51:45,900 She's a Midwestern gal. 819 00:51:47,300 --> 00:51:48,600 That's great news. 820 00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:53,900 Really? Tell me something about you. 821 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,200 What do you want to know? 822 00:51:57,200 --> 00:51:58,700 - A secret. - A secret? 823 00:52:00,300 --> 00:52:03,700 - A secret, huh? - I'm sure you have plenty. 824 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,700 Got a few. 825 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,200 - So tell me. - Yeah, tell her, Dave. 826 00:52:09,300 --> 00:52:11,300 Tell her the real secret. 827 00:52:11,300 --> 00:52:16,000 Me and my friend, Jeff, we can control the power on campus. 828 00:52:16,100 --> 00:52:19,000 How's that for a secret? We hack into the power grids. 829 00:52:19,100 --> 00:52:22,400 Looks like I'm gonna have to pay your friends a little visit, Dave. 830 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,400 Me and my friend, Jeff, we can control the power on campus. 831 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,200 How's that for a secret? We hack into the power grids. 832 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:32,100 - Don't say a fucking word, Ethan. - Look at that shot. 833 00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,100 He's "doing" his special lady. 834 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,400 Shut the fuck up! 835 00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:38,400 I don't want to see any more, all right? 836 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:41,100 He's "f" -ing you. He "f"-ed me. 837 00:52:41,100 --> 00:52:43,500 And now I got a little movie of him "f" -ing her. 838 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,000 Dude, enough about Dave. You don't know a thing about Dave. 839 00:52:46,100 --> 00:52:48,900 He betrayed you. He stole my girl. 840 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:52,200 He's not our friend. What? 841 00:52:52,300 --> 00:52:54,000 Son of a bitch! 842 00:52:54,100 --> 00:52:58,100 The little freak is right, all right? Dave screwed us. 843 00:52:58,100 --> 00:53:01,500 He's not the only one who screwed us. We're getting screwed by the system. 844 00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:05,600 The system that forces us guys to like girls, all right? 845 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:09,000 We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? 846 00:53:09,100 --> 00:53:12,500 We can have our own system. It's a counter system. 847 00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:16,100 Then you do things together-- You swim, you row, you boat... 848 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,000 you eat, you stink. 849 00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:20,500 We can just be guys. You can have sex-- 850 00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:24,100 You can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay. 851 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,800 That's interesting. 852 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,800 I'm gonna go talk to Dean Rattenbaugh about that... 853 00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,500 while I'm getting your ass expelled. 854 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,600 - Come over here. - What? 855 00:53:33,700 --> 00:53:35,200 Sit down. 856 00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:44,900 - Give me the tape. - Oh, this tape? 857 00:53:47,300 --> 00:53:48,800 What do I get? 858 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:53,300 This is everything we have on Angela. 859 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,500 How much of that did I work to steal my own self? 860 00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:57,600 Shut up. I'm giving it to him. 861 00:53:59,700 --> 00:54:02,000 Everything you need to get the girl is in here. 862 00:54:02,900 --> 00:54:05,000 - On three. - All right, on three. 863 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,400 - One-- - If I could interject something here. 864 00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:10,400 I'm not gay, you know. 865 00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:20,700 I'm the kind of guy who will 866 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,200 Not insist that you go on the pill 867 00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:28,000 I'm cool with splitting the bill 868 00:54:28,100 --> 00:54:30,300 -And I'll kill - Oh, my God. 869 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,500 - Who you want me to kill - It's Ethan. 870 00:54:34,900 --> 00:54:37,300 Stay there. 871 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,500 You and me 872 00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,500 - Hey, new-wave boy! - Don't you see 873 00:54:42,500 --> 00:54:45,400 Shut the fuck up! 874 00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:48,000 - Don't you see - Do we fucking know this guy? 875 00:54:48,100 --> 00:54:50,400 My heart is beat-beat-beating 876 00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:52,500 It's Ethan again. 877 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:56,000 Oh, Angela 878 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:59,600 Oh, how I need you so 879 00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,900 'Cause your eyes are like two shining blue 880 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,900 Rockets in the night come to take me away 881 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,400 Come and fuck me, baby 882 00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:11,000 He is so-- 883 00:55:11,100 --> 00:55:13,300 And don't let me hurt you just by accident 884 00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,400 - I probably won't, but - Shut up! 885 00:55:18,100 --> 00:55:19,200 Fudge! 886 00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,500 Ethan, I appreciate the effort, but-- 887 00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,900 - I wrote this for you! - What do you want? 888 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,500 It's 2:00 in the morning. 889 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:27,700 I wanna come up. 890 00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,900 - This has to end, right now. - Invite him up. 891 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,800 We'll make him clean the fucking bathrooms. 892 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:37,600 Besides, maybe he's good in bed. The little ones always are. Come on. 893 00:55:39,300 --> 00:55:42,400 - Move. - You can come up for one minute. 894 00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:43,700 Really? 895 00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,600 Guys? Hey, yo! 896 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,500 Wow! 897 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,600 Love. 898 00:56:36,100 --> 00:56:39,200 Okay. I'm going to fix your nose... 899 00:56:39,300 --> 00:56:42,500 and we're going to have a little talk, okay? 900 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:44,300 Okay. 901 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,800 This is not very manlike of me, is it? 902 00:56:47,900 --> 00:56:51,000 Ethan, it's a tiny cut. It's no big deal. 903 00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,600 You're right. It's just a cut on skin. 904 00:56:55,700 --> 00:56:59,300 You're so awesome. Your room is so awesome. Your phone is kick-ass. 905 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:01,700 And you know what? I love you. 906 00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:09,400 You and I are just friends. 907 00:57:09,500 --> 00:57:12,700 I have to make that clear to you, because this cannot continue. 908 00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,800 You're still on this whole Dave thing. 909 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,200 Unbelievable. 910 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,000 It's not a Dave thing. 911 00:57:22,100 --> 00:57:24,700 I'm in love with him. 912 00:57:24,700 --> 00:57:26,700 Have you two been physical? 913 00:57:27,700 --> 00:57:30,400 You know what? 914 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:31,700 That's it. 915 00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:35,400 What Dave and I do is none of your business. It's time for you to leave. 916 00:57:35,500 --> 00:57:38,500 I was hoping you wouldn't take it this far. Damn it! 917 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,000 Enough is enough! 918 00:57:40,100 --> 00:57:43,300 Will you quit breathing so loud? I can't hear what he's saying. 919 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:47,500 - God, I'm so scared for us. - It's too late for this, you know? 920 00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,500 You've been duped by the worst kind of con man. 921 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,100 When I fell in love with you... 922 00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:53,300 I knew I couldn't get you because you're so beautiful. 923 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,600 So I paid Dave and his goons to get close to you. 924 00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,600 He put together a dossier of information... 925 00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,200 which I studied every night. 926 00:57:59,300 --> 00:58:01,200 I do not believe what you're saying to me. 927 00:58:01,300 --> 00:58:04,000 How do you think I know your favourite animal is a monkey? 928 00:58:04,100 --> 00:58:07,400 - Ethan, shut up! - I said, "Dave, stop. It's over. 929 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,000 She is a lovely girl with a pure heart. 930 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,500 Don't taint her with your octopus ink!" 931 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:15,500 - Something is wrong with you. - Nothing's wrong with me. 932 00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,500 - No, something-- - Bullshit. 933 00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:20,700 You know how he brags about the power grids? 934 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,100 That's how he's going to talk about you. 935 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,000 You're just another thing for him to brag about. 936 00:58:26,100 --> 00:58:29,300 I'm not the kind of guy who would rub this kind of proof in your face. 937 00:58:40,300 --> 00:58:41,600 Good Christ! 938 00:58:41,700 --> 00:58:43,700 - Stop. Just listen. -You deserve that, asshole. 939 00:58:43,700 --> 00:58:45,800 - I can explain everything. - Ethan explained everything. 940 00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:48,300 - Don't listen to Ethan! He's psychotic! - You are a fraud! 941 00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:50,400 You are a child! You're manipulative! 942 00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:52,700 And worst of all, you're a whore! 943 00:58:53,900 --> 00:58:55,900 I am not a whore. 944 00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,000 You used me to make a hundred bucks. 945 00:58:59,100 --> 00:59:01,300 Angela, I didn't do anything like that. 946 00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:04,500 - You didn't? - I didn't. 947 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,300 I didn't do anything wrong. 948 00:59:14,700 --> 00:59:17,900 Why did you steal my E-mails, Dave? 949 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,200 I came clean. And you should have stopped when I asked-- 950 00:59:28,300 --> 00:59:31,400 You told her I did it for money? Huh, you little freak? 951 00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:32,900 What are you doing here anyways? 952 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:37,000 I'm gonna ask you this right now and I want you to answer me honestly. 953 00:59:39,700 --> 00:59:41,300 Did you... 954 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,300 or did you not... 955 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,400 seduce me because of some deal you had with Ethan? 956 00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:50,500 See, it wasn't exactly like that. 957 00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:54,300 Dave, will you just answer yes or no? Please,just answer me. 958 00:59:56,900 --> 00:59:58,800 - Yes. - Oh, shit. 959 01:00:00,700 --> 01:00:04,400 Angela, you see? I told you he was violent! Look! 960 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:07,500 Angela, please, baby, please. 961 01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:09,700 Listen to me. Listen to me! 962 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,000 This is not a good night for my nose. I'm gonna go disinfect it. 963 01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,900 Well, I don't know about the punch in the nose, but I think she likes me. 964 01:00:19,900 --> 01:00:21,900 You don't love her. 965 01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:26,300 I do tonight. 966 01:00:30,300 --> 01:00:32,200 Hey, do you have a condom? 967 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:38,300 Fuck. 968 01:00:41,300 --> 01:00:44,100 I want you to get this bad energy out. 969 01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:48,200 Ethan, I really don't feel like being touched right now, okay? 970 01:00:48,300 --> 01:00:49,600 Thanks. 971 01:00:49,700 --> 01:00:51,900 Then you need a jump-start. 972 01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:55,200 Clear! 973 01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:58,900 Clear! Clear! 974 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,400 Ethan, it's-- 975 01:01:02,700 --> 01:01:04,900 It's been kind of a long night. 976 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,800 I don't want to kick a dead horse, but that Dave... 977 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,500 he's a bad dude. 978 01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:12,800 You made the right decision. 979 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:14,900 Thanks for being honest. 980 01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:18,000 No problem. 981 01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,900 - I'm tired. - I know. Me too. 982 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,700 Move over. Let's go to bed. 983 01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:28,200 Move over. 984 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:31,800 How about you sleep on the couch? 985 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:34,900 Okay. 986 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,500 Shh, be quiet. We're in my girlfriend's dorm. 987 01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,100 You wanna what? 988 01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,100 No, we shouldn't. 989 01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:48,000 Okay, but you be quiet, hair doll. 990 01:01:51,300 --> 01:01:53,100 Like that? 991 01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:55,800 I said to her, or him, I said-- 992 01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,400 - I can't believe you guys. - Oh, you can't believe us? 993 01:01:59,500 --> 01:02:02,000 You know what? I can't believe you. You betrayed our trust. 994 01:02:02,100 --> 01:02:05,200 -I did not betray you! -That's the one thing we had between us. 995 01:02:05,300 --> 01:02:08,400 - I did not betray anyone! - But you said my name on that tape. 996 01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:09,800 What about that? 997 01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:13,100 You might as well have broadcast it to the whole campus. 998 01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:15,000 Man, I mean, we can't do that to her. 999 01:02:15,100 --> 01:02:16,200 What? 1000 01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,200 The guy is a stalker. I mean, Ethan, he's nuts. 1001 01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:22,200 - How was I supposed to know? - You know what? 1002 01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:23,600 Fuck you. 1003 01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:26,900 I'm the one who took care of it. You're out. 1004 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,500 I can't trust you anymore. You're out. 1005 01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:33,900 You sure did fuck up. 1006 01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:42,700 But you didn't fuck up so much as you fucked up. 1007 01:02:42,700 --> 01:02:45,300 You find somebody, and it just feels right. 1008 01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:47,600 It's like fate. 1009 01:02:47,700 --> 01:02:49,900 Exactly! It was my fate to meet her. 1010 01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:52,900 But it wasn't your fate to be with her. 1011 01:02:52,900 --> 01:02:54,900 Unfortunately, my friend, fate... 1012 01:02:56,300 --> 01:02:58,600 has a different plan for you. 1013 01:02:58,700 --> 01:03:01,300 You will grow up, go out into the world. 1014 01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:04,700 You'll forget all about the things that happened here. 1015 01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:06,900 Ethan, Angela... 1016 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,000 the shit we pulled. 1017 01:03:09,100 --> 01:03:11,500 Those hookers that we thought were girls. 1018 01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,800 And you're going to go out there... 1019 01:03:13,900 --> 01:03:16,700 and no one-- no one... 1020 01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:19,800 can shoot you down because a woman one time... 1021 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:23,400 stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. 1022 01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:25,200 That is your fate, Dave. 1023 01:03:26,100 --> 01:03:28,600 Just as it is my fate... 1024 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:31,100 to some day become shogun. 1025 01:03:44,100 --> 01:03:46,600 Fucking idiot! Are you kidding me? 1026 01:03:50,900 --> 01:03:54,500 There goes Dave the liar. I "f"-ed his old girlfriend. 1027 01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,800 - Oh, Ethan. - Oh, Cameron. 1028 01:04:00,900 --> 01:04:03,800 - Oh, yeah! - Baby, baby. 1029 01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:05,500 Boobies, boobies. 1030 01:04:07,900 --> 01:04:10,400 Stone-hard reality, Dave. 1031 01:04:10,500 --> 01:04:12,400 I asked you to stop. 1032 01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,300 Cameron! Take off my pants. 1033 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:23,600 Oh, no. That's my mom. 1034 01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:10,800 Is enough enough Is enough enough 1035 01:05:13,300 --> 01:05:17,100 I saw the sign When I opened up my eyes 1036 01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:18,500 I saw the sign 1037 01:05:20,700 --> 01:05:23,200 When I opened up my eyes I saw the sign 1038 01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:41,100 No one's gonna drag you up to get into the line where you belong 1039 01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:45,300 I saw the sign I saw the sign 1040 01:05:48,700 --> 01:05:51,700 Guys, I saw the sign. 1041 01:05:51,700 --> 01:05:54,900 And it opened my eyes. I gotta be with Angela. 1042 01:05:54,900 --> 01:05:58,500 - As your attorney, I can't advise that. - I'm telling everything. That's it. 1043 01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:00,300 You guys have nothing to worry about. 1044 01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:03,300 - You're serious about this, man? - Dead serious. 1045 01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,100 I need to be with her. 1046 01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:07,800 Hey, you're not fucking "seed of doubting" me now? 1047 01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:10,400 Sam, I'm not going to lie anymore. 1048 01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:13,500 I'm done. 1049 01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,900 I have something to say to you. 1050 01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:22,400 And I think that it's important that I say it out of the cage. 1051 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:32,500 I think you're doing the right thing. I've never seen you like this before. 1052 01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:35,600 You know what? I've never felt like this before. 1053 01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:39,400 Listen, I blew up last night, but I'm proud of you. 1054 01:06:39,500 --> 01:06:43,200 I wish I could back you up. I'm not getting kicked out of college. 1055 01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:45,700 This is me. You have to understand this. 1056 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:48,600 You guys aren't going to pay for this. I'm gonna do this myself. 1057 01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:50,900 I never would have given that stuff to Ethan in a million years... 1058 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,900 if I thought that you felt this way. 1059 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:54,600 You did what you had to do. That's fine. 1060 01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:58,600 I guess I felt a little bitjealous because... 1061 01:06:58,700 --> 01:07:01,400 you have a girlfriend now, or whatever... 1062 01:07:01,500 --> 01:07:03,600 and I felt like I was left out. 1063 01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,600 Come on. 1064 01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:07,900 - Really? - A little bit. 1065 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,700 Come here. Give me a hug. Got nothing but love for you. 1066 01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:15,000 Oh, one, two, three, four hard nipples. Nope. 1067 01:07:15,100 --> 01:07:19,100 This is really weird. I never thought we'd see the day when the team split up. 1068 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,600 Wait. Not yet. 1069 01:07:22,700 --> 01:07:27,500 We don't split up yet. Cool Ethan? He caught you cheating, right? 1070 01:07:27,500 --> 01:07:29,500 - Yeah. - Right? 1071 01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:32,100 He's gunning for your job, right? 1072 01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,200 You know my whole story. 1073 01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:35,500 You got his stuff? 1074 01:07:37,700 --> 01:07:41,500 One more job, guys. I say we bury him. 1075 01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,100 But wait,you say. How did we get Ethan's documents? 1076 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,300 Allow me to refreshyour memory. 1077 01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:48,700 When you only see two of us, watch out. 1078 01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:52,900 Because the third one is probably rifling through your shit. 1079 01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:04,200 It was time to put our gifts to use. 1080 01:08:04,300 --> 01:08:08,100 So we split up into two groups to take Ethan down. 1081 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:13,000 First on the list, Stockton, Upright and Falk. 1082 01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:17,100 Ethan wanted to work there more than anything. 1083 01:08:17,100 --> 01:08:19,500 So we thought we'd lend him a hand. 1084 01:08:27,900 --> 01:08:31,900 Professor Markoe's? Yes, the exam is today. 1085 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:33,100 Back on up, slick. 1086 01:08:37,900 --> 01:08:40,700 Oh, God, I 'm choking. 1087 01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:43,100 Oh, God, I'm choking! 1088 01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:44,900 God, he's choking on a piece of steak. 1089 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,100 I don't know what to tell you, but I think Philip called this one in. 1090 01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:50,100 I run this office. All of this is me. 1091 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:00,900 - Oh, fuck. - Are you all right? 1092 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,100 I'm fine now. Thanks to you. 1093 01:09:03,100 --> 01:09:05,500 Thanks to this fine, young gentleman. 1094 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,000 If you just let me get in there, I'll replace that mouse and be outta there-- 1095 01:09:11,100 --> 01:09:12,800 Thank you. Fix it. 1096 01:09:12,900 --> 01:09:15,100 Wes Mann. I'm in emerging markets. And you are? 1097 01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:19,700 Ethan Dulles. I'm actually only here for an interview with Mr. Leonard. 1098 01:09:19,700 --> 01:09:23,700 Oh, well. Leonard Leonard and I are very good friends. 1099 01:09:23,700 --> 01:09:25,400 I'm gonna march you right up there. 1100 01:09:25,500 --> 01:09:27,700 Let me help you out. You've had such a hard day. 1101 01:09:27,700 --> 01:09:30,800 I look good and everything, but I'm still freaked out, 'cause of the meat. 1102 01:09:30,900 --> 01:09:33,300 So if you could give me a little privacy. 1103 01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:40,400 Yes, this is a message for Mr. Dulles. 1104 01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:44,200 This is Mr. Leonard's office in Human Resources at Stockton, Upright and Falk. 1105 01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:47,300 - Good work down there, Mr. Dulles. - You can call me Jack. 1106 01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,200 Jack? 1107 01:09:49,300 --> 01:09:51,500 It says on here that your first name is Ethan. 1108 01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:54,500 - Call me Jack. - All right, Jack. 1109 01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:58,900 Jack, what one word would you say... 1110 01:09:58,900 --> 01:10:00,900 describes yourself perfectly? 1111 01:10:05,100 --> 01:10:09,300 I'm gonna have to say slave to the freaky-assed booby. 1112 01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:10,700 That's not one word. 1113 01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:13,700 You know, Philip said that you were available. 1114 01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,300 Hurry up, brownie, cookie, whatever. 1115 01:10:16,300 --> 01:10:18,400 You get into this job because you like to work with your hands. 1116 01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:20,700 I work with my-- 1117 01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:23,800 I work with my hands all the time. I mean, love to rub you down. 1118 01:10:23,900 --> 01:10:29,500 You ever had a massage with heated stones? Like nothing you'd believe. 1119 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,500 On your resume under "activities"... 1120 01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:35,400 you have "smokin' blunts with the homeys"... 1121 01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:38,200 and "bustin� caps in whitey." 1122 01:10:39,300 --> 01:10:41,400 Can you explain that? 1123 01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:43,400 Please come to Mr. Leonard's office... 1124 01:10:43,500 --> 01:10:46,100 as soon as you possibly can for your job interview. 1125 01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:47,700 - Thanks. - Yes! 1126 01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:51,200 You know as well as I do how I very well got the job. 1127 01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,800 You and me, boy, we can handle shit, all right? 1128 01:10:53,900 --> 01:10:55,000 Right, right. 1129 01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:02,800 You watch Leonard Leonard handle some shit. 1130 01:11:04,700 --> 01:11:06,500 Oh, Angela 1131 01:11:10,700 --> 01:11:12,600 Oh, how I need you so 1132 01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:20,200 I see what I wanted to do 1133 01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:30,500 Now 1134 01:11:45,400 --> 01:11:46,800 Yeah! 1135 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:54,800 Stockton, Upright and get those lousy cheaters expelled. 1136 01:11:56,900 --> 01:11:59,400 Ethan Dulles is waiting in the lobby for me? 1137 01:12:00,500 --> 01:12:02,500 I don't-- What's the holdup? I've been waiting a half-hour. 1138 01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:04,300 Still checking. 1139 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:07,000 You let him in here and your ass is grass, and I'm the lawn mower. 1140 01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:11,700 Actually, that appointment's no longer on the books. 1141 01:12:11,700 --> 01:12:14,700 Okay, well, I'll just go check the books. Bitch. 1142 01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,200 Heard you got a little smart with Mr. Leonard. 1143 01:12:19,500 --> 01:12:21,000 Get him out of here now. 1144 01:12:21,100 --> 01:12:22,500 The lawn mower's waiting. 1145 01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:25,500 I want that punk thrown out of this building. 1146 01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:28,600 I parked my wheel right out here. I'm fine. Thanks, guys. 1147 01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:31,900 Can you believe that? 1148 01:12:39,300 --> 01:12:41,900 - Get him. - Come here! 1149 01:12:43,300 --> 01:12:44,700 Help me! 1150 01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:53,100 This is the final exam. 1151 01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:57,200 From this point on there's no talking, no study guides... 1152 01:12:57,300 --> 01:12:58,500 no exceptions. 1153 01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:03,500 You have three hours. That's it. Pencils down after that. 1154 01:13:04,300 --> 01:13:07,600 Begin now. 1155 01:13:23,300 --> 01:13:25,700 Hi. Yeah, we're having a test here. A final. 1156 01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:28,700 - Hold on. Just wait a second. - I don't have a second. 1157 01:13:28,700 --> 01:13:29,800 Excuse me. 1158 01:13:31,100 --> 01:13:35,300 - We're having a test here. -Just relax. This can't wait. Please. 1159 01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:37,200 - You can talk to her after the-- -Just relax. 1160 01:13:37,300 --> 01:13:41,300 These people are taking a test-- They are taking a final exam. 1161 01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,700 - Please just give me five minutes. - Am I coming up there? 1162 01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:46,600 - Is that how it's gonna be? -Just listen to me. Please. 1163 01:13:46,700 --> 01:13:49,800 Just give me one second. Okay? Just one second. 1164 01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:54,900 - You think I'm a liar? - Yeah. 1165 01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,300 Yeah. Well, I am a liar. 1166 01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:02,100 Ethan never paid me. He blackmailed me. 1167 01:14:03,100 --> 01:14:05,600 I did it because he caught me cheating. 1168 01:14:06,700 --> 01:14:08,800 What the fuck? 1169 01:14:11,300 --> 01:14:13,200 I am a cheater. 1170 01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:16,600 I have cheated my way through high school. 1171 01:14:16,700 --> 01:14:18,900 I have cheated my way through college. 1172 01:14:18,900 --> 01:14:20,800 I have cheated my way through everything. 1173 01:14:20,900 --> 01:14:23,500 I don't think I've ever taken a test honestly. 1174 01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:27,300 I've engineered blackouts. I've done bomb threats. 1175 01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:30,800 I've hacked into the administration network. I've done it all. 1176 01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:34,100 I mean, I think this is the first legit thing I've ever done. 1177 01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:39,100 And there's no angle. And there's definitely no scam. 1178 01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:45,200 I'm doing it because-- because I love you. 1179 01:14:45,300 --> 01:14:47,500 You love me? 1180 01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:49,200 I do love you. 1181 01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:55,800 I'm pretty sure I'm in the wrong class. 1182 01:14:55,900 --> 01:15:01,100 But, I just gotta say, that was really moving. 1183 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:04,600 Well, honesty, folks. Right? 1184 01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:07,800 Isn't that the most important thing, honesty? 1185 01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:12,000 That's what it's all about. I didn't understand that until I met you. 1186 01:15:13,700 --> 01:15:16,700 - That was beautiful. - Thank you. Thank you. 1187 01:15:34,100 --> 01:15:36,200 Well, you're just Mr. Party Pants, aren't you? 1188 01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:39,600 You all think you know this man? 1189 01:15:39,700 --> 01:15:42,200 Well, I have in my hand hard evidence... 1190 01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:45,800 that this man is, in fact, a cheater! 1191 01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:50,800 Why are you clapping? Why are you clapping? 1192 01:15:50,900 --> 01:15:52,900 Why are you clapping? 1193 01:15:54,700 --> 01:15:56,700 What the hell is this? 1194 01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:01,000 Well, Ethan, I told her the truth. 1195 01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:03,600 And I told her I cheated and I told her I loved her. 1196 01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:08,700 - You don't believe him, do you? - I don't know. 1197 01:16:08,800 --> 01:16:11,300 I want to, Dave... 1198 01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:12,900 but I just can't. 1199 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:17,000 - I don't wanna. I don't wanna! - Shut up. 1200 01:16:17,100 --> 01:16:20,000 I couldn't take it anymore. We're a team. You go down, we go down. 1201 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,300 I don't think so. If you're not enrolled-- 1202 01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:26,200 I am in the class. I'm Sam Schechter. I got hit by a fucking bus. 1203 01:16:30,100 --> 01:16:32,200 He's telling you the truth. 1204 01:16:32,300 --> 01:16:35,000 I know he is, because he got caught helping me cheat. 1205 01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:39,900 It's a scam. Another scam. You can't believe them. 1206 01:16:39,900 --> 01:16:42,400 Oh, another scam, huh? That's interesting. 1207 01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:44,600 Listen, Angela, we took this picture in Ethan's room. 1208 01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:47,600 If you don't want to be with Dave, that's fine. 1209 01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:52,200 You might want to avoid getting hacked up by "eyebrows" on your wedding night. 1210 01:16:52,300 --> 01:16:55,100 What is this? That's a little weird. 1211 01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:58,700 - Let me see this one second. - Could you explain that to me? 1212 01:16:58,700 --> 01:17:00,700 Ethan, what is that? 1213 01:17:00,700 --> 01:17:02,700 A picture I let the boys-- 1214 01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:04,600 If you think that's weird, one more thing. 1215 01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:05,800 This is good. 1216 01:17:07,700 --> 01:17:09,200 It's a hair doll. 1217 01:17:09,200 --> 01:17:11,300 Yeah. It's gross, right? 1218 01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:14,200 - Here you go. - Ethan, what is this? 1219 01:17:14,300 --> 01:17:17,000 - Is this a hair doll? - I didn't make that. 1220 01:17:17,100 --> 01:17:20,200 It fell out of your hair that way and I want it back. 1221 01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:22,500 -It fell out this way? I don't think so. -Give it back! 1222 01:17:22,600 --> 01:17:24,900 - I want it back! - Give it back! 1223 01:17:26,700 --> 01:17:30,600 You're going down! Why are you laughing? 1224 01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:32,200 What? 1225 01:17:32,300 --> 01:17:34,600 - You have a cheater in your midst. - Where? 1226 01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:36,700 You can't have her, 'cause I own her. 1227 01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:40,700 I'm gonna file criminal charges on all your asses. 1228 01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:43,700 - He's holding a hair doll. - I need the cheater's name. 1229 01:17:43,700 --> 01:17:46,100 - He answers to Ethan. - Ethan. Here. 1230 01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:49,000 I had a nickname for you. Want to know what it was? I'm not gonna tell you. 1231 01:17:50,100 --> 01:17:52,900 - All right, it was "Laser." - This one right here. 1232 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,800 Hi, Ethan. Can I see that paper? 1233 01:17:55,800 --> 01:17:58,900 Fine. Yes. Here, here. 1234 01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,100 Thank you. 1235 01:18:00,200 --> 01:18:02,600 His name's right on there. It's David. 1236 01:18:02,700 --> 01:18:04,100 Okay, Ethan. 1237 01:18:04,200 --> 01:18:07,900 This is a copy of the final exam, which is what we're taking right now. 1238 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:10,000 That means you're in violation of the honour code. 1239 01:18:10,100 --> 01:18:11,300 It's not mine. 1240 01:18:11,300 --> 01:18:13,400 You just handed it to me. 1241 01:18:13,500 --> 01:18:16,500 - Are you crazy? - I think you're crazy. 1242 01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:18,400 What? 1243 01:18:19,600 --> 01:18:22,600 Give me that test. You are mine, motherfucker! 1244 01:18:23,700 --> 01:18:26,200 You guys are fucking retarded. 1245 01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:27,600 You know what? 1246 01:18:27,700 --> 01:18:31,000 Why don't you shut your mouth, you skanky-assed "bee-yatch." 1247 01:18:31,100 --> 01:18:33,500 - Fuck you, cocksucker. - Slut. 1248 01:18:33,600 --> 01:18:35,500 - Shithead. - Ho. 1249 01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:37,000 Monkey boy. 1250 01:18:39,700 --> 01:18:41,800 So what do you say? 1251 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:44,500 Do I have a chance? 1252 01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:49,800 Yes. 1253 01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:51,300 Come here, then. 1254 01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:09,900 Every now and then, we're all given a perfect moment. 1255 01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:13,500 A moment where everything makes sense. 1256 01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:16,500 A moment where everything seems right and good... 1257 01:19:16,500 --> 01:19:19,300 and everything's gonna be okay. 1258 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:21,700 If you can be kissing a girl like Angela... 1259 01:19:21,700 --> 01:19:23,900 in the middle of a moment like that... 1260 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,000 well, you really got it made. 1261 01:19:28,700 --> 01:19:31,700 The university took stern action. 1262 01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:34,300 We got kicked out of school. 1263 01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,600 Sam took it like a man. 1264 01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:39,500 I 'm sorry! 1265 01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:42,200 I guess we all learned a life lesson, except for Jeff. 1266 01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:44,800 Jeff learned a different lesson. 1267 01:19:44,900 --> 01:19:47,000 Jeff learned how to print diplomas. 1268 01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:52,500 In the end, I guess I realized you can't scam when it comes to love. 1269 01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:56,600 But still, guys like me, Sam and Jeff... 1270 01:19:56,700 --> 01:19:58,900 we can't scam our own natures either. 1271 01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:00,700 We're all still friends. 1272 01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:03,500 I'm still with Angela, and I've never been happier. 1273 01:20:03,600 --> 01:20:04,900 It's strange. 1274 01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:08,700 You think you got life all figured out, and it just keeps surprising you. 1275 01:20:08,800 --> 01:20:12,200 And to think, I learned how to be a better man... 1276 01:20:12,300 --> 01:20:14,300 from getting blackmailed by that little freak-- 1277 01:20:15,800 --> 01:20:17,200 Cool Ethan. 1278 01:20:21,300 --> 01:20:25,900 I love you, but I hate you 1279 01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:31,100 Which brings to mind how much I love you 1280 01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:35,000 We could've worked this out you know 1281 01:20:35,100 --> 01:20:40,500 In a little room In a little locked room 1282 01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:44,600 I'm sorry you had to settle for Dave 1283 01:20:44,600 --> 01:20:49,100 The one-dimensional man 1284 01:20:49,100 --> 01:20:54,100 He's filed under "cocksucker" in my little black book 1285 01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:59,100 Sweetness can rot your teeth 1286 01:20:59,100 --> 01:21:03,300 Bittersweet cacophony 1287 01:21:03,400 --> 01:21:06,700 But you hold the key 1288 01:21:06,800 --> 01:21:10,200 You hold the key 1289 01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:13,700 To my little locked room 1290 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:19,500 You hold the key You hold the key 1291 01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:24,500 To my little locked room 1292 01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:28,300 Please let me 1293 01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:30,800 Out soon 1294 01:21:33,100 --> 01:21:35,100 I love you. 1295 01:26:09,400 --> 01:26:11,500 I 've never done a porno before. 1296 01:26:11,600 --> 01:26:13,500 Until now, bitch. 101195