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1
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:04,482
.
2
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,487
- Hey, sarge, got you
a chimichanga if you want it.
3
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,663
- Thanks!
Sombrero's?
4
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:13,448
Thought you were
a Pepeberto's man.
5
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,624
- I was.
I went by there earlier,
6
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,147
and they were closed.
7
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,757
Sign said,
"Return at 5:00."
8
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,672
You know what time
it was?
9
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,413
5:08.
- Ooh!
10
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,330
- So, they're dead to me.
11
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,158
From now on,
I will be bringing
12
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:31,118
my chimichanga business to
the fine folks at Sombrero's.
13
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,816
- This isn't a chimichanga.
This is a burrito.
14
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:37,298
- Is the whole world
incompetent?
15
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,169
- You ready for another?
16
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,562
- No.
17
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,219
Yeah.
18
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,356
- Well, that thing
is lacking
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,315
in systems engineering
competency.
20
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,495
Why don't we just
get that thing fixed?
21
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:03,454
- I tried everything--
new washer, new pump.
22
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,803
It's as fixed
as it's gonna get.
23
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,196
The thing is cursed.
24
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,719
- Well, that makes sense.
25
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,331
I mean, Bill's aunt
isburied underneath the bar.
26
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,422
No? Tch!
Beth, you lied to me?
27
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,208
- So, uh, you sort of
a handyman, hey, Fred?
28
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,471
- I do what I can
to help out around here.
29
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:21,733
I'm very handsy.
30
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:24,388
- Ooh. No. Try again.
31
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:27,478
- I just mean I'm--
I'm good at the hand stuff.
32
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:30,351
- Oh, much better.
33
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,700
- Anyway, who cares
if it's slow?
34
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,354
We use this time reflectively.
35
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:35,486
Rosie,
word of the day, please.
36
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:38,837
- Word of the day
is "fungible." Guesses?
37
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:42,232
- Fungible:
open to fun or merriment.
38
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,278
"Hey, James, you wanna
hang out tonight?"
39
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:47,542
"Yeah, I'm fungible.
I'm fungible as hell!"
40
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:52,242
- Fungible: the fur-covered
jaw of a dog.
41
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,201
Used in a sentence:
Rexy likes it
42
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,638
when I scratch him
on his fungible.
43
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,509
- All good guesses,
but no.
44
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,250
It's a legal term
that means
45
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,861
able to replace or be
replaced by another item.
46
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:05,429
- Oh, I get it.
Like Bill is totally fungible.
47
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:06,909
We could just switch him out
48
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,519
with a large carton
of whole milk,
49
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,173
and no one would even notice.
50
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:13,263
- Yeah. That makes sense
to me now.
51
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,831
- I'm glad that your
vocabularies are expanding,
52
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,529
but that was mean.
53
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:30,193
- "Abby's" is filmed in front
of a live, outdoor audience.
54
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,153
- Whoa, wait a minute.
Who's this?
55
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,937
- This is Cory. He's here
to fix the soda gun.
56
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,721
- Bill, I know
this is your property,
57
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,201
but you can't just waltz
in here with Cory
58
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,507
and expect me
to be cool with it.
59
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,161
- I'm paying.
- Then I'm cool with it.
60
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,293
Go nuts, Cory.
61
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,469
- I wish you
the best of luck, sir.
62
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:48,472
You'll find that soda gun
a tricky mistress.
63
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,213
It'll lure you in,
64
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,215
and just when you think
you got a handle--
65
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,695
- Done.
66
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:54,826
- What?
67
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,524
- Ah, it's fixed.
I'm done.
68
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,527
- I was mid-metaphor.
69
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,182
- Seriously?
Let me see.
70
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:05,446
- Oh, my God.
My life just got 60% better.
71
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:09,363
I am feeling very amorous
towards you, sir.
72
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,801
- Look at you,
crazy soda gun wizard.
73
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,803
- Yeah. Impressive.
74
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,544
- That is amazing, Cory.
What do we owe ya?
75
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,372
- Don't even worry about it.
Just, uh, gimme a call
76
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:21,201
if you ever need anything...
else.
77
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,333
- Look at that.
It's a, uh, fridge magnet
78
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,293
in the shape of a truck.
How clever.
79
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:28,295
- Actually, would you mind
taking a look
80
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,861
at my storage cooler?
It's been making
81
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,689
a hissing noise,
and it's either totally fine,
82
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,256
or it's gonna kill us all.
83
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,866
- Sure thing.
- Okay, great!
84
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:40,263
- You know, in some cultures,
when a man gives you a magnet,
85
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,918
you get to have sex
with him.
86
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,361
- So I been working on
an emergency plan for the bar.
87
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,362
- Oh, good.
88
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,972
Whoa-ho!
89
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,844
That is a lot.
- Yeah. You told Abby
90
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,628
to come up with one,
and she delegated to me
91
00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,979
because I'm very smart
and very scared of everything.
92
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,982
In here, there's a section for
every conceivable emergency.
93
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:06,811
You got earthquakes,
fires, tsunami.
94
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:08,596
When you say good-bye
to somebody,
95
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:12,556
and then y'all both
walk off in the same direction.
96
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,558
- This is insane.
In an emergency,
97
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,907
what's the one thing
you don't have?
98
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,693
- A woman to love me?
99
00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:20,912
Why would you bring
that up, Rosie?
100
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,566
- Time. You gotta make
a plan
101
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,351
that's quick
and easy to look at,
102
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,309
like one sheet of paper
we can hang up.
103
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,355
- One sheet of paper?
Did the Founding Fathers
104
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,921
put the "Declaration of
Independence"
105
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,314
on one sheet of paper?
106
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,055
- Famously, yes.
107
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,538
- Fred, you want another?
108
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,061
- Uh, no, thanks.
109
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,759
Think I need to
go watch some bocce.
110
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,544
Teresa's playing
her ex-husband
111
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,893
for their Golden Retriever.
112
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,547
Should be exciting.
113
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,723
And deeply sad.
114
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,379
- He seem a little off to you?
115
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:53,597
I mean, he just
turned down a drink.
116
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,556
- Yeah,
even I noticed it,
117
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:58,602
and I don't notice
anyone's feelings.
118
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:01,953
Thank God they go
right over my head.
119
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,868
- Okay, guys, I wanna huddle,
but I don't want it
120
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,436
to look like we're huddling,
so...soft huddle.
121
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:11,615
I think Fred may be upset
about something.
122
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,617
- Why do you think that?
- Let me put it in a way
123
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,880
that you could understand--
Fred turning down a drink
124
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:18,840
is like you turning down
a free protractor.
125
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:22,844
- Okay, but like a cheap one
or like a good metal one?
126
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,715
- James, can you see if he's
actually paying attention
127
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,369
to the bocce game
or if he's just
128
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:29,720
looking at the leaves
rustle in the trees?
129
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,856
- He's just watching
the leaves rustle.
130
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,336
- Okay, nobody panic.
Let's just figure out
131
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:37,598
what's bumming him out.
132
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,730
The checklist, Rosie.
133
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,429
- So we've got things
that upset Fred
134
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:43,995
broken down into
three categories--
135
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,954
Fred Versus Man,
Fred Versus Nature,
136
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,783
Fred Versus Himself.
137
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,480
- Fred Versus Nature?
What's that?
138
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,482
- Oh, that's just stuff
like, "It's too humid,"
139
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:55,137
or, "It's not humid
enough!"
140
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,487
It's mostly just problems
with humidity.
141
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,881
- He's super-sensitive
to moisture.
142
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:02,100
- Oh, it could be
Fred Versus Man.
143
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,624
Did the Padres lose?
144
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,104
- Oh, they won.
- Okay, but won how?
145
00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:08,150
Convincingly? Did they over-use
their middle relievers?
146
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,065
- He hates that!
147
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,502
- I don't...
Look, I was proud of myself
148
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,896
for just knowing
they won, okay?
149
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,029
- He's--he's coming!
Okay!
150
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,857
Everyone be cool!
151
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,119
- Can I get a beer?
- Oh, sure.
152
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,991
- Yeah!
Enjoy a cold one.
153
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,688
- That's what this place
is for!
154
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,603
- That's what we do here,
we drink beers, buddy.
155
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,174
- There you go!
156
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,437
- Okay.
157
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,788
- When was the last time
you saw Fred drink a beer
158
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,921
after 9:00? Didn't he already
switch to Jack and coke?
159
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,139
- Yeah. And you would think
with the new soda gun--
160
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,881
- Oh! The soda gun.
161
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,536
He's mad because we hired
the guy to fix the soda gun.
162
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,147
- Good old-fashioned case
of Fred Versus Man.
163
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:52,977
Or...or is this
Fred Versus Himself?
164
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,763
Some deep stuff
goin' on here.
165
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,071
.
166
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,208
- All right,
so Fred's in a funk.
167
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,731
He's feeling bad about Cory
fixing the soda gun
168
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,472
that he could never fix.
169
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,692
- Oh, poor Fred.
You think he was also upset
170
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,782
that Cory and I had
so much sexual chemistry?
171
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,481
- Yeah, probably.
172
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,311
- We gotta do something.
Sad Fred makes me sad.
173
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,705
It's contagious.
It brings down the whole bar!
174
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,446
Look at Skip.
He's a wreck!
175
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,754
- All right, okay,
well, let's cheer him up.
176
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,364
Ideas?
- I know.
177
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,193
We could get him a rabbit.
178
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,544
- Weird first thought.
Where did thatcome from?
179
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,284
Do you want a rabbit,
180
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:42,374
or do you have a rabbit
you wanna get rid of?
181
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,507
- Here's a crazy suggestion.
What if one of us
182
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,683
went over there...
and talked to him?
183
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,686
- With their mouth?
184
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,559
Are you insane? Fred doesn't
talk about his feelings.
185
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,169
- Once, in a moment
of weakness,
186
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,214
he said he felt "chilly,"
and then immediately
187
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,260
made us promise
to never speak of it again.
188
00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:01,350
- All right, let's just run
the "Cheer Fred Up" playbook.
189
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,265
Bill, go put on "Rich Girl"
on the jukebox.
190
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,223
It's his third favorite song.
It'll put him in a good mood.
191
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:08,749
- He loves songs about
women doing well financially.
192
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,578
- And James, you go suggest
a game of dominoes.
193
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,275
- Right. Then I'll let him win.
- You won't have to,
194
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:14,798
because you've never,
ever won.
195
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:17,627
- And I won't start now.
196
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,673
We're on the same page,
Abby.
197
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,414
- Okay, and finally,
Fred's always complaining
198
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,069
about dimness, so we'll turn
the lights up a little bit.
199
00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,463
- And if none of that works,
then I'll call the pet store.
200
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,117
- James, no!
- I'm sorry!
201
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,553
I couldn't remember
where we landed
202
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,250
on the rabbit idea.
Are we pro, con?
203
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:35,079
We're con?
We're con?
204
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,125
Are we sure?
205
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,260
- Fred hates dimness.
206
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,349
Someone's gotta
bite the bullet.
207
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,880
- Does this help?
It says here,
208
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,622
"After a fatal electrocution,
the body typically presents
209
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,580
"as black or gray,
and the eyeballs
210
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,669
may be jellied
or missing all together."
211
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,584
- Thanks, James.
Cool tip.
212
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:04,152
Okay, get back in there.
213
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,893
Come on. You got this.
214
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,459
- Yeah.
215
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:13,335
Oh, my God, Beth,
that was so scary!
216
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,598
- Hey! Shh, it's okay.
217
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,426
It's okay, now.
You did it!
218
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,384
You plugged in that thing!
219
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,780
- Ah, excuse me,
I'm so sorry.
220
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,477
Do you think
that I could go first?
221
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,218
We sort of have a plan
unfolding here.
222
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,264
- Yeah. The plan is
I'm gonna put on Sade
223
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,135
and go make out with Ted.
224
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,268
- Oh.
225
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:37,533
Ah...here's the thing.
Um,
226
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,623
I never really get to be
part of the plan, you know,
227
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,626
so this is a very big
deal for me.
228
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,541
When I was a child,
we moved around a lot--
229
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,282
- Angie, let him play his song.
230
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,632
We both know you're gonna
make out with Ted either way.
231
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,591
Thank you.
232
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,657
- Oh! Ha. Hey, Fred,
what's goin' on?
233
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,964
- Not much.
Bocce got a little ugly.
234
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,661
Teresa lost the dog,
235
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:22,273
and she went double
or nothing for their kids.
236
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,667
- Uh...you know it's been
a long time
237
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,930
since we played a game
of dominoes.
238
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:28,497
- Really?
No reaction at all
239
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,194
to people betting
their human children?
240
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:33,545
- I can't take that on
right now.
241
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,286
- Anything?
- I can't tell.
242
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,548
Oh, here comes James.
243
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,768
Without Fred.
What happened?
244
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,510
- He didn't feel like playing.
And it gets worse.
245
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:43,686
He said he was gonna go smoke
a cigarette in his car.
246
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,603
- Oh, dear God, he's trying
to fast-track emphysema.
247
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:52,390
- Yeah. Rabbit idea ain't
looking so stupid now, is it?
248
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:55,350
- So what happens now?
- All right, let's take stock.
249
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,221
Fred's mad 'cause he couldn't
fix the soda gun,
250
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,832
and someone else could.
Once again,
251
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,270
we have underestimated
the fragility of the male ego.
252
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,621
Since we've exhausted
all the other options,
253
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,579
I think it's time
to pull out the big gun.
254
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,320
I say we give him The Token.
255
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,582
- Ooh!
- Whoa.
256
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,628
- The Token?
- What's The Token?
257
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,282
- The Token is the stuff
of legend, Bill.
258
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,632
It dates back to 2015.
259
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:20,244
- It was the second round
of the Farmers Insurance Open.
260
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,811
Phil Mickelson had just
come off the green
261
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,508
of Torrey Pines number 8.
262
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,641
- His ball marker slipped
right out his pocket.
263
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,730
I grabbed it.
264
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,427
- Okay.
265
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,691
So The Token,
this magical talisman
266
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,736
that's gonna solve
all of our problems,
267
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:37,000
is actually a piece of plastic
that James stole from a golfer.
268
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,046
- Yes. But more importantly,
269
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,743
The Token
bestows upon the holder
270
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,745
a special privilege
here at Abby's--one week
271
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,747
of unlimited free drinks.
- Unlimited drinks?
272
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,749
That sounds like
a lawsuit waiting to happen.
273
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,925
Somebody should take this Token
and throw it in the trash.
274
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,493
- Shut your dirty mouth, Bill.
275
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:55,627
- Listen, no matter how upset
Fred is about the soda gun,
276
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,412
his two favorite words,
"free" and "drinks"
277
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,457
will smooth things over.
- Receiving The Token
278
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,721
is a rare honor--only been
used a couple times.
279
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,593
Skip got it when he was
acquitted of manslaughter.
280
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:11,556
- My man did it, though.
281
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,081
He did it.
282
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,478
- What is so important,
283
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,699
and what is all this talk
of a rabbit?
284
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,745
- Come sit over here,
Fred.
285
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,007
- Why?
- No reason.
286
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,009
No reason at all.
287
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,884
Let the ceremony begin.
288
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:37,017
"Inside this box
is an object of such power
289
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,801
"that to touch it
with bare hands
290
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,977
would bring disrespect
to all we hold dear."
291
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,805
- Is this still that piece
of plastic garbage
292
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,459
you mentioned earlier?
- Shh!
293
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,853
The ceremony.
- "It goes by many names--
294
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,680
"The Coin of Consumption,
295
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:51,422
"The Boozer's Doubloon,
296
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:54,556
"The Fun-Time Dime
of Torrey Pines.
297
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,863
"Whosoever holds this Token,
if she or he be worthy,
298
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,995
"shall possess the power
of seven full days
299
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,345
of free imbibu-malation."
300
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:03,434
God, how drunk were we
when we wrote this?
301
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,002
- Like a seven?
302
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:08,352
- "We present to you now,
Fred,
303
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,615
"the sacred treasure
of infinite joy and beverages,
304
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,617
"and, as we pass unto you
this Token,
305
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:16,578
"we begin, as we must, the most
holy blessing of The Token.
306
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:19,711
"Our Token,
who art in Abby's,
307
00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:22,584
"drinking be thy game.
308
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:23,846
"Your will be done,
309
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,153
"because drinking is fun.
310
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:29,634
"Also, if Phil Mickelson
ever shows up,
311
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,768
everyone pretend
this never happened."
312
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,380
- What are you doing? Why
are you giving me The Token?
313
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:37,860
- Well, we noticed
you were having a bad night,
314
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,079
and we wanted to cheer you up.
315
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,863
- I'm not having a bad--
316
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,039
There's no reason
to give me The Token.
317
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,736
- Whoa! Hey, Fred,
what are you doing?
318
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,129
You don't walk away
from The Token.
319
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,870
- Yeah, I can.
I don't want it.
320
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,480
Now, put the white gloves
back on
321
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,917
and put it back properly.
322
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,441
- Fred, take The Tok--
- I don't want--
323
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:56,444
- Oh, my God! It fell.
324
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,838
Abby, I'm not wearing the
gloves, so I can't touch it.
325
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,101
Is it okay?
326
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,842
- James, it's a piece
of plastic
327
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,582
that dropped 3 feet
onto the grass--it's fine.
328
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,889
- It touched the ground?!
329
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,848
Now the gnomes
are gonna get us.
330
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,068
Well, that's the legend.
That's--
331
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,810
That's what we wrote!
332
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,900
- Maybe we were closer
to a ten.
333
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:21,686
.
334
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,302
- Fred, what the hell?
Why would you do that?
335
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,652
- That was an accident. But I
don't like being patronized.
336
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:34,221
I'm not a child who needs to be
coddled with some cheap bribe.
337
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:35,570
- Cheap?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
338
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:38,225
- The Token is scared!
339
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,228
What?
I'm gonna have to start
340
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,751
saying stuff like that
eventually.
341
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:45,406
This is basically
like a cult I've joined.
342
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:46,711
- I'm going back to my car.
- Fred, come on.
343
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,365
No, you're not leaving
like this.
344
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,193
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
345
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,587
- Abby, what are you do--
I got 100 pounds on you.
346
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,198
Oh, my God!
You're freakishly strong!
347
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,460
Let go!
- No!
348
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,332
You let go of whatever
you're mad about!
349
00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,768
- You let go
of my actual body.
350
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,248
- Metaphorical
letting go first.
351
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:02,858
That's a rule
I just decided on.
352
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,555
- We got an emergency.
353
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,209
I'm gonna find my binder
and look up fi--
354
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,516
I'm having a panic attack.
355
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:12,302
Somebody else get the binder
and look up panic attack.
356
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,435
- Abby, will you just
let me be?
357
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,612
- No!
358
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:22,138
- I'm so sorry.
It's The Token.
359
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,577
- This is all my fault.
360
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,884
Leave us.
361
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,321
I said leave us!
362
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:38,154
- I feel bad for Fred
feeling all fungible.
363
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:42,419
Able to be easily replaced?
364
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:46,162
We learned it two hours ago!
This is untenable!
365
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,426
Oh, untenable?
Last Wednesday's word?
366
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,473
Damn you people!
367
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,823
- I don't get it.
Why is he freaking out so much
368
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:57,782
about now being
the bar's plumber?
369
00:15:57,826 --> 00:16:01,264
- Oh, wait.
I think I might know.
370
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,139
- Are you gonna tell me
371
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,315
or just brag about
how smart you are?
372
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:10,273
- It's not that Fred
just wants to be useful
373
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,622
here at the bar.
374
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,711
It's that he wants to
be useful to you.
375
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,452
- What do you mean?
376
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,672
- Okay.
For six straight years,
377
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:20,805
every day, I put toothpaste
on my kid's toothbrush.
378
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,851
Then one day,
he comes downstairs
379
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,635
with his teeth
already brushed.
380
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,681
Did it all by himself.
381
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,857
He didn't need me
anymore.
382
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,991
It was like a knife
in my heart.
383
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,516
I cried the whole day.
384
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,605
- Really?
385
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,520
- No. Pfft.
386
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,739
I mean, Ididn't.
I'm dead inside.
387
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:44,394
It's my friend Lisa's story.
She's weak.
388
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,355
But you see the point, right?
389
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,922
You know, you let someone
do what he normally does--
390
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,663
you made him feel like
you don't need him.
391
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,709
Fred knows what a crappy
dad you got,
392
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,929
and, you know, he shows his
love by looking out for you.
393
00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,496
You're the closest thing
to a daughter
394
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,802
he's ever gonna have.
395
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,586
- Hey, Abby.
396
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,588
I've assessed the damage
done to The Token,
397
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:07,548
and now I'll start the delicate
process of restoration.
398
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:08,984
- You know,
I hate to be a hard-ass,
399
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,855
but you should really
have the gloves on
400
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,944
when you touch that.
401
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,916
- Oh, jeez, Fred,
402
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:30,919
you didn't wanna crack a
window, let the smoke out?
403
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,835
- No. I paid good money
for this smoke.
404
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,794
- I really want you
to have this.
405
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:39,493
- I told you,
I don't want that.
406
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,887
- I'm just--I'm doing a thing.
Play along--open the box.
407
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:46,065
- Mmm! What am I supposed
to do with this?
408
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,024
- Whatever you want.
Throw it away.
409
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,983
I don't care.
I don't need Cory.
410
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,508
I've got you.
- Hmm.
411
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,553
Thought he was
a soda gun wizard.
412
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,816
- Well, he's fine,
but he's no Fred.
413
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,427
- Hmm.
414
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:03,430
I remember the first
thing I fixed for you.
415
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:06,259
It was your bike wheel.
You were eight years old.
416
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,435
Do you remember that?
417
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:10,089
I didn't know what
I was doing,
418
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,092
but I winged it,
and it worked.
419
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,398
- Yeah, I remember.
420
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,052
I mean,
it absolutely did not work.
421
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,054
You know that, right?
The chain fell off,
422
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,622
and I went head first
over the handlebars.
423
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,450
I still have a scar.
424
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:24,973
- Hmm.
425
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,018
- But it was nice
to have somebody around
426
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,543
who actually cared.
427
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:32,415
- Well, I still do.
- I know.
428
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,069
And believe me,
I need you around.
429
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,289
I just wolfed down
that burrito you brought me.
430
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,117
It was the first food
I'd had all day.
431
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,944
So thank you.
- Yeah. Supposed to be
432
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,077
a chimichanga, but...
whatever.
433
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,123
Happy to help.
434
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,909
Now, something
I wanna bring up with you--
435
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,476
how well do you know
your neighbors?
436
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,869
'Cause I am pretty sure
I just watched
437
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:56,483
somebody dig what looked
like a shallow grave.
438
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,137
- Yeah.
They breed guinea pigs,
439
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,530
and a lot of them
don't work out.
440
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,010
- Oh.
441
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,578
We should go inside.
442
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:11,454
.
443
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:13,064
- Abs?
444
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,414
How 'bout a Jack and Coke?
445
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,067
- Jack and Coke
comin' right up.
446
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:17,939
- Hey, there's my guy.
447
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:22,030
Mmm...that takes me back.
448
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,293
- Beth, you smoked?
- Yeah. Quit right after
449
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,556
the twins were born.
450
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,691
- Hey, uh,
point of order.
451
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,563
I know I didn't actually
physically accept The Token,
452
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:36,653
but it just seems like
under the circumstances--
453
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,655
- Ooh, Fred, that was
a limited-time offer.
454
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:41,310
You know that--you were
secretary of the Token Council.
455
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,053
- A council?
That is ridiculous.
456
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,708
But also,
is that an elected position?
457
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,494
- Ab, we both know
The Token Covenant
458
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,409
is a living document.
- No can do, Fred.
459
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:54,671
But I will give you
460
00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,586
this one for free.
- Yay.
461
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,982
- This stool
is kinda wobbly.
462
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:04,246
Maybe I should call
hot Cory.
463
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:07,118
- Hang on.
There may be no need.
464
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,426
I have something that
might just do the trick.
465
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:13,603
There you go.
466
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,997
- Thanks.
467
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:20,262
No need to call
hotCory now.
468
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:24,310
Monogamy, you live
to fight another day.
469
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:31,665
- James, what's wrong?
470
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:34,015
- We had a real emergency,
and I froze.
471
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,756
I let everybody down.
472
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,366
- No, you didn't.
473
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,673
The emergency plan
isn't all on you.
474
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:42,371
We look out for each other.
Look at Abby and Fred.
475
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:45,722
And, uh, you and Bill
have your weird thing.
476
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,771
- Yeah. We fell asleep on the
phone together the other night.
477
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,513
- That's the emergency plan.
478
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:57,038
We all help each other out
however we can.
479
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:58,648
- What happened
to you there?
480
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,390
- I got a little
electrocuted.
481
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,436
- Rosie, remain calm.
It's gonna be fine.
482
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,742
Head of Bar Security's
on it.
483
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:10,225
- Thanks.
484
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:16,231
- Hey, James, I'm taking
off, but, uh...later?
485
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:20,540
- I can't explain it.
It all happened so fast.
36008
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