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1
00:00:02,273 --> 00:00:04,574
All right,
so we have to remember H5.
2
00:00:04,642 --> 00:00:06,276
Okay. Uh, oh.
3
00:00:06,344 --> 00:00:07,644
I got it. High five.
4
00:00:07,711 --> 00:00:08,688
Oh, I see. Oh, that's good.
5
00:00:08,778 --> 00:00:09,945
I see what you're trying
to do there.
6
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,502
You're trying to figure out
a mnemonic device.
7
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:13,016
- Yeah, trying.
- Okay. High fives
8
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:14,784
came out in the '70s.
9
00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:16,419
That's when they were invented,
that's a 7.
10
00:00:16,486 --> 00:00:17,719
Yeah.
11
00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:18,921
- There's two of us.
- So why are you--
12
00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:20,574
So if you subtract 2 from 7,
that's 5.
13
00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:22,058
Okay, great. So you got it.
So um...
14
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:24,527
And then, um,
there's five major food groups.
15
00:00:24,594 --> 00:00:25,661
Why are you going on?
16
00:00:25,728 --> 00:00:26,995
Oh, no.
You're gonna love this.
17
00:00:27,064 --> 00:00:28,197
This is fun for me
'cause it's a puzzle.
18
00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:29,565
No puzzle.
19
00:00:29,632 --> 00:00:30,999
Five major food groups.
20
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:34,103
There is meat, vegetables,
grain, dairy, and fruit.
21
00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:35,271
Oh. My God.
Okay.
22
00:00:35,338 --> 00:00:36,605
My favorite fruit
is pineapple.
23
00:00:36,673 --> 00:00:37,905
But you know that
we got it already, so...
24
00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,241
- Pineapple comes from Hawaii.
- Okay.
25
00:00:40,309 --> 00:00:41,576
And oh, oh,
26
00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:44,446
My favorite current show
is Hawaii Five-0.
27
00:00:44,513 --> 00:00:46,481
Hawaii Five-0.
Okay, so that's it. Done.
28
00:00:46,549 --> 00:00:47,982
- We're done. Hawaii Five-0.
- Yeah.
29
00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:50,885
Ooh, ooh, and Scott Caan
is the star of Hawaii Five-0.
30
00:00:50,953 --> 00:00:52,386
Scott Caan? We're really
talking about Scott Caan now?
31
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,754
And his father is James Caan,
32
00:00:53,822 --> 00:00:56,091
who's one of
the five major stars of the--
33
00:00:56,158 --> 00:00:57,625
What's wrong with you?
34
00:00:57,693 --> 00:01:00,561
One of the five major
huge stars, "h," right?
35
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,962
Of The Godfather movies.
36
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,813
So it's Caan, Pacino,
Brando, Duvall, and um...
37
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:07,134
I don't even know
why you're doing this.
38
00:01:07,202 --> 00:01:08,135
- Oh...
- Diane Keaton.
39
00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:09,636
Diane Keaton, yes. Thank you.
40
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,371
And it's easy to remember
her name 'cause her name
41
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,840
is the same last name as Buster
Keaton and Michael Keaton.
42
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:14,774
But-- No-- Okay. We're just
going through this now.
43
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:15,875
Both comedians,
44
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,043
and when you laugh,
45
00:01:17,112 --> 00:01:18,412
- you say "ha."
- Stop.
46
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,413
Stop.
Stop.
47
00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:20,313
- "Ha-Ha."
- Stop. Stop.
48
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,581
Stop! Stop!
49
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,483
You see what you're doing?
50
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,018
You're overcomplicating
the whole thing.
51
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,319
We already had it.
52
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,254
You're just making
it more difficult,
53
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,322
Just like you do everything.
54
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:32,358
I left my phone in the car.
55
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,361
Which... is... Wait, hold up.
56
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,064
A dap... No, it was handshake...
57
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,166
No, I got it.
I got it. I got it. Ha.
58
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,934
Buster Keaton and Michael Keaton
have the same last name
59
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,336
as Diane Keaton
who's one of the five huge stars
60
00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,470
on The Godfather movies...
61
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:46,571
No. No--no--no.
But I got it.
62
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,707
It's Keaton, Brando,
Duvall, Pacino,
63
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,908
- and James Caan...
- Oh, okay.
64
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:50,976
who's the father
of Scott Caan,
65
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,611
who's the star of Hawaii Five-0.
66
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,113
Hawaii, pineapple,
67
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,480
- pineapple's my favorite fruit...
- No-- No-- No-- No-- No-- No.
68
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:56,348
- Five major food groups...
- No, you can't--
69
00:01:56,415 --> 00:01:57,549
There's two of us.
70
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,884
- 5 plus 2 is 7...
- Wait, wait...So...
71
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,520
That's the '70s when
high fives were invented, H5.
72
00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:02,654
High five! High five!
73
00:02:02,721 --> 00:02:05,472
I had it!
Damn!
74
00:02:05,524 --> 00:02:08,526
(haunting Western music)
75
00:02:08,593 --> 00:02:10,288
76
00:02:27,585 --> 00:02:30,331
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
77
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:34,484
Explain to me your current
health care regiment.
78
00:02:34,552 --> 00:02:37,520
I mean, your current physical--
79
00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:38,889
I do-- Here's what it is.
80
00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:42,425
Aerobics is
like slow steady-state cardio
81
00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:45,128
and what I do is, like,
interval cardio.
82
00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:46,262
So you're doing it all day?
83
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,331
20 minutes.
84
00:02:48,399 --> 00:02:49,999
- Oh.
- Like, 20 minutes a day.
85
00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,466
You could do it.
86
00:02:51,534 --> 00:02:53,468
What you do mean when you
say, "You could do it,"?
87
00:02:53,536 --> 00:02:54,870
Like, you dropped "You."
88
00:02:54,938 --> 00:02:56,105
20 minutes. I mean... I admit,
I did-- Okay.
89
00:02:56,173 --> 00:02:57,039
Why would you emphasize "you"
like that?
90
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:58,507
I'm just saying...
91
00:02:58,575 --> 00:02:59,909
- Of course I could do it.
- Of course you could it.
92
00:02:59,976 --> 00:03:02,244
I mean, it'd take a little while
for you get into it.
93
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,345
But you could do it.
94
00:03:03,413 --> 00:03:05,181
I'm an athletic,
spry young man.
95
00:03:05,248 --> 00:03:06,315
Of course I could do it.
96
00:03:06,382 --> 00:03:07,416
I played soccer, bro.
97
00:03:18,293 --> 00:03:20,241
(male announcer) Live
from the Nestl? Arena,
98
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,914
welcome to the finals
99
00:03:21,914 --> 00:03:25,138
of 1987 Jazz Fit Championships.
100
00:03:26,335 --> 00:03:30,004
Representing the Body Shop
from Hollywood, California,
101
00:03:30,072 --> 00:03:31,655
Flash.
102
00:03:37,212 --> 00:03:39,547
And from the Skin Shop
in Detroit, Michigan,
103
00:03:39,615 --> 00:03:40,548
Lightning.
104
00:03:40,616 --> 00:03:43,618
('80s dance music)
105
00:03:43,685 --> 00:03:47,590
106
00:04:09,477 --> 00:04:12,478
(dramatic music)
107
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,394
108
00:04:18,285 --> 00:04:21,287
('80s dance music)
109
00:04:21,354 --> 00:04:24,623
110
00:04:24,691 --> 00:04:27,693
(dramatic music)
111
00:04:27,761 --> 00:04:31,062
112
00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:34,132
(80s dance music)
113
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,136
114
00:04:38,204 --> 00:04:41,206
(dramatic music)
115
00:04:41,274 --> 00:04:49,047
116
00:05:02,994 --> 00:05:05,996
('80s dance music)
117
00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:09,614
118
00:05:12,371 --> 00:05:15,373
(dramatic music)
119
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:18,765
120
00:05:33,591 --> 00:05:36,593
('80s dance music)
121
00:05:36,661 --> 00:05:39,863
122
00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:44,235
(dramatic music)
123
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,537
124
00:06:27,676 --> 00:06:30,678
('80s dance music)
125
00:06:30,746 --> 00:06:32,747
126
00:06:32,815 --> 00:06:34,149
You son of a bitch!
127
00:06:34,217 --> 00:06:35,483
You motherfucker!
128
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:38,707
You crazy sick fuck!
129
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:40,027
Let me at him!
130
00:06:40,073 --> 00:06:41,318
I'm gonna kill you.
131
00:06:41,391 --> 00:06:44,926
Let me at--
you motherfucker!
132
00:06:50,364 --> 00:06:53,132
If you and I were in
just a tag team fight
133
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,836
and there was a couple of
your average street riffraff.
134
00:06:57,904 --> 00:06:58,971
Some rapscallions?
135
00:06:59,039 --> 00:06:59,905
Well,
how do you think we'd do?
136
00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:01,006
Now, when you say tag team,
137
00:07:01,075 --> 00:07:02,308
you're not talking
about one of us
138
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:03,976
scrapping with three dudes
and tagging out.
139
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:05,678
You're talking about
if we were just together--
140
00:07:05,745 --> 00:07:06,749
Blip, blip.
141
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,047
If we just together
blippin' it, slippin' it,
142
00:07:08,114 --> 00:07:09,381
crashin' it, slappin' it. Yeah.
143
00:07:09,449 --> 00:07:10,716
Street rules.
Kick 'em in the crotch.
144
00:07:10,784 --> 00:07:12,384
If-- Do we get a good--
Do we get a weapon?
145
00:07:12,452 --> 00:07:14,053
Let's say no.
146
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,821
- Average sized guys.
- So bigger than us.
147
00:07:15,889 --> 00:07:19,524
Dude, I think if we went
hog wild on them, we'd be okay.
148
00:07:19,593 --> 00:07:21,594
Like, if we just went crazy
and lost our minds.
149
00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:23,662
I mean, if I was beating a dude
and pissing myself
150
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,998
at the same time, that's okay
as long as I'm making contact.
151
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,368
It turns out
it wasn't a ghost at all.
152
00:07:31,436 --> 00:07:34,305
It was my little sister hiding
in the basement!
153
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:37,875
And she was goin' "Boo"
and making the noises
154
00:07:37,943 --> 00:07:39,510
the whole time, so...
155
00:07:47,953 --> 00:07:50,154
Oh, shoot.
I forgot his juice boxes.
156
00:07:50,222 --> 00:07:51,878
- Oh.
- I will be right back.
157
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,186
You'll be all right
with Zachary?
158
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:54,218
- I think so.
- Okay.
159
00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,415
So, Zachary...
160
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,902
You know I'm, uh, gonna be
marrying you mother
161
00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:08,371
and, uh,
I'm gonna be moving in soon
162
00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:10,907
and I just...
163
00:08:10,975 --> 00:08:14,944
I'm so excited
to spend more time with you.
164
00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,972
You know, I know
165
00:08:20,394 --> 00:08:22,394
that you had a hard time
with your father
166
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,552
and he spanked you
and, you know,
167
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:29,332
I just want you to know
168
00:08:30,014 --> 00:08:32,014
that's not gonna happen with me.
169
00:08:32,696 --> 00:08:33,795
Okay?
170
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:37,244
And I promise I
will never spank you.
171
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,628
Okay. That's...
172
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,233
Okay.
173
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,116
Um...
174
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,508
I know why you did that.
175
00:08:50,668 --> 00:08:53,846
But I will never spank you
because
176
00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:56,144
I know that you still--
177
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:58,221
Oh! That's--
178
00:09:00,989 --> 00:09:02,111
Ow.
179
00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:04,371
I don't know that there's
180
00:09:04,722 --> 00:09:07,991
anything I did to deserve that--
Okay.
181
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:09,268
This...
182
00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:14,001
You... Okay.
183
00:09:14,069 --> 00:09:17,036
Mm. I'ma be real with you.
184
00:09:17,104 --> 00:09:19,172
You can't go hittin' people.
185
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,140
All ri-- Oh! Oh! Oh!
186
00:09:21,209 --> 00:09:24,249
I ain't coming back
for that fourth one.
187
00:09:27,081 --> 00:09:28,415
All right. So we done?
188
00:09:28,482 --> 00:09:30,083
We got that out of our system?
189
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:33,180
'cause I know that this...
190
00:09:34,054 --> 00:09:36,789
this isn't you.
Oh!
191
00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:40,865
I told you-- Uh! Oh! Oh! Come on!
192
00:09:41,095 --> 00:09:44,097
This... Oh! Oh! Oh!
193
00:09:44,164 --> 00:09:46,465
This... You...
Ugh! Ugh! Why!
194
00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,700
- Fast.
- Oh what?
195
00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:49,268
Ooh! Ugh! Oh!
196
00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:51,704
That's unbelievable.
197
00:09:51,772 --> 00:09:54,289
Why-- What did I do?
198
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,174
I'm the good guy.
199
00:09:56,243 --> 00:09:59,878
I'm-- I'm the good guy, man.
200
00:10:03,516 --> 00:10:05,884
Look.
201
00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:07,246
I'm never gonna spank you.
202
00:10:08,514 --> 00:10:10,404
I'm not gonna be
like your father.
203
00:10:12,158 --> 00:10:13,457
I'm gonna be your friend.
204
00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:20,398
You need to respect me!
205
00:10:20,466 --> 00:10:23,578
You understand?
You little shit!
206
00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:42,657
I will respect you, Charles.
207
00:10:43,922 --> 00:10:46,257
If you play your role.
208
00:10:46,324 --> 00:10:47,675
Now, listen up...
209
00:10:48,927 --> 00:10:51,260
I'm a bad, bad boy, Charles.
210
00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,862
I don't need a fucking friend.
211
00:10:57,202 --> 00:10:59,036
So go ahead.
Marry my mommy.
212
00:10:59,104 --> 00:11:00,337
Move in.
213
00:11:00,405 --> 00:11:02,806
Fuck her as hard as you want.
214
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:04,704
Just leave me
the fuck alone.
215
00:11:06,911 --> 00:11:10,057
You do that, 11 years from now,
216
00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:11,752
I'll be out of the house
217
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:14,343
and we won't have any problems.
218
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:17,002
You don't...
219
00:11:18,022 --> 00:11:22,131
and I will break you.
220
00:11:23,994 --> 00:11:26,065
Okay, Charles?
221
00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:31,201
How are we doing?
222
00:11:31,268 --> 00:11:32,895
I love him!
223
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:45,254
So the other thing
I'm thinking is maybe
224
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:47,556
with the plasma bolts, instead
of going the traditional way
225
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,685
and having them actually
emanating from his hands,
226
00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:52,066
What if they came
from his aura?
227
00:11:52,077 --> 00:11:53,912
- They just came--
- Uh, he's here.
228
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,067
- Oh, God. Thank you.
229
00:11:55,135 --> 00:11:57,063
Guys, this is so exciting.
230
00:11:57,811 --> 00:12:00,672
Marvel legend Stan Lee
calls me on the phone
231
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:04,075
a couple of weeks ago
and says, "I'd like to stop by."
232
00:12:04,143 --> 00:12:06,344
So I just thought that'd be
a great treat so he's--
233
00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:07,913
Excelsior!
234
00:12:07,981 --> 00:12:10,348
- Hey! Mr. Lee!
- All right.
235
00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:11,583
All right.
Sit down, sit down.
236
00:12:11,651 --> 00:12:12,985
Let's get going.
237
00:12:13,052 --> 00:12:14,520
Oh, you're here
to pitch us some characters?
238
00:12:14,587 --> 00:12:17,923
You bet your bottom dollar
I have.
239
00:12:18,024 --> 00:12:19,691
All right, let's see here.
240
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:25,295
We got to...
241
00:12:25,363 --> 00:12:26,898
Easel work's
a little bit rusty.
242
00:12:26,965 --> 00:12:28,900
Don't touch that.
243
00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:32,870
Okay. Introducing...
244
00:12:32,938 --> 00:12:35,006
Heyday.
245
00:12:35,073 --> 00:12:39,006
He lives perpetually
in his best year: 1982.
246
00:12:39,348 --> 00:12:43,017
His nemesis is
the evil writer's block.
247
00:12:43,248 --> 00:12:46,383
He'll live forever as long
as he continues to come up
248
00:12:46,451 --> 00:12:50,220
with great, interesting,
and relevant ideas.
249
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,161
Well, that got nothing.
250
00:12:57,228 --> 00:12:58,595
Mr. Lee,
I just-- I just feel, you know,
251
00:12:58,663 --> 00:13:00,064
we're really busy this morning,
you--
252
00:13:00,131 --> 00:13:03,133
Uh-uh-uh-uh, this ain't
my first rodeo, sonny boy.
253
00:13:03,201 --> 00:13:04,701
I got a million of 'em.
254
00:13:04,769 --> 00:13:07,070
All right.
255
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:09,272
Dr. Balance.
256
00:13:09,339 --> 00:13:12,141
He's an aging robotics scientist
257
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,679
who never slips and falls
in the shower.
258
00:13:15,746 --> 00:13:17,881
It's where am I, man?
259
00:13:17,949 --> 00:13:21,718
No matter how late at night
he gets up to go number one,
260
00:13:21,786 --> 00:13:25,455
He always knows exactly
where he is.
261
00:13:25,522 --> 00:13:27,022
Thermostatro.
262
00:13:27,091 --> 00:13:30,193
He has the power
to control any thermostat,
263
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,562
which means
he never has to be tormented
264
00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:35,727
by any suddenly cold spots.
265
00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:37,031
Techno.
266
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:40,069
He understands how to control
any technological device.
267
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:43,103
Things like the computer
or the little hand computer.
268
00:13:43,773 --> 00:13:45,808
Road Rage.
269
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:49,144
He gets behind innocent drivers
on the thoroughfare
270
00:13:49,212 --> 00:13:52,314
on their way home
from the doctor's office
271
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,150
and he leans
on his radioactive horn
272
00:13:55,218 --> 00:13:59,321
And they say "Hey! Come on,
get off of my bumper, hot rod!
273
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:03,024
We're goin' as fast as we can!"
274
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,779
Where'd you guys come from?
275
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:09,896
Oh, yeah.
Here's the Gray Chaser.
276
00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:14,868
Her special powers are
she's 40, has no kids,
277
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:17,037
and she's got a rockin' hot bod.
278
00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:19,873
She's only into older dudes
with ponytails and liver spots.
279
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:21,275
Homestead.
280
00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:23,043
He's got the mutant ability
to force
281
00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:26,379
any of his busy adult children
to come visit for a change.
282
00:14:26,447 --> 00:14:28,248
I mean, would it kill you
to pick up a phone?
283
00:14:28,315 --> 00:14:30,350
How 'bout an evil villain, huh?
284
00:14:30,417 --> 00:14:32,753
The Overweight Jamaican Maid.
285
00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:36,089
Also known as Jamila!
286
00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:41,128
She steals things.
287
00:14:41,195 --> 00:14:43,130
Mr. Lee,
I'm-- I'm-- I'm so sorry.
288
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:47,967
Just, with all due respect,
I-I don't think that, uh...
289
00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:53,439
I don't think that we could use
any of these characters.
290
00:14:53,507 --> 00:14:55,141
Oh.
291
00:14:55,209 --> 00:14:58,144
So say the room?
292
00:14:58,212 --> 00:14:59,712
- Yes.
- Yeah.
293
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:03,416
Oh.
294
00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:06,252
No, I-I-I understand.
295
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,688
Don't mind me.
296
00:15:08,755 --> 00:15:12,692
Sometimes you're just
shooting blanks.
297
00:15:12,759 --> 00:15:13,893
I know when I'm not wanted.
298
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,929
Just... toss the rest of 'em
299
00:15:16,997 --> 00:15:19,464
in the, uh, trash compactor
or whatever ya got these days.
300
00:15:19,532 --> 00:15:20,632
It was a real honor, sir,
to have you.
301
00:15:20,701 --> 00:15:21,667
Ah.
302
00:15:23,804 --> 00:15:25,137
(laughs)
303
00:15:25,205 --> 00:15:28,808
Eureka.
304
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:31,944
I've just been inspired.
305
00:15:32,012 --> 00:15:35,347
Now, this is a superhero team,
306
00:15:35,415 --> 00:15:39,758
A ragtag group of
multiethnics known as...
307
00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:43,355
The Fired Bunch.
308
00:15:43,423 --> 00:15:45,924
They possess
the testicular fortitude
309
00:15:45,991 --> 00:15:48,727
to bite the very hand
that feeds them
310
00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:50,462
and are cursed
to walk the streets
311
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:53,465
for an eternity
unemployed.
312
00:15:55,868 --> 00:15:59,771
What do you think?
313
00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:02,506
We love it!
314
00:16:06,946 --> 00:16:09,480
- Excelsior!
- Excelsior!
315
00:16:13,823 --> 00:16:15,120
So what's the worst job
you ever had?
316
00:16:15,187 --> 00:16:18,882
Worst job I ever had...
317
00:16:19,447 --> 00:16:22,961
Man. It sucked working
for that coffee shop.
318
00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,194
Oh, that barista situation.
319
00:16:24,228 --> 00:16:25,768
Talkin' 'bout barista.
320
00:16:26,131 --> 00:16:28,733
People be coming in
for coffee in the morning.
321
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,614
Let me tell you something.
They're not happy.
322
00:16:30,648 --> 00:16:32,107
- They haven't had their...
- (both) coffee yet.
323
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,070
Right, right, right.
324
00:16:33,138 --> 00:16:34,745
People
are just talkin' 'bout...
325
00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:38,008
Being a barista,
326
00:16:38,076 --> 00:16:40,911
it was, like, it was a meeting
of worlds 'cause
327
00:16:40,979 --> 00:16:42,413
you had Clarence,
328
00:16:42,481 --> 00:16:44,448
my man was one of them baristas
who was from,
329
00:16:44,516 --> 00:16:45,949
- like the South Side.
- Yeah, yeah.
330
00:16:46,017 --> 00:16:47,618
- And then you had, like,
331
00:16:47,686 --> 00:16:50,655
Sarah was, like,
you know, she was like,
332
00:16:50,722 --> 00:16:52,189
the m-- the manager.
333
00:16:52,257 --> 00:16:55,793
The m-middle manager
and she was like, "You guys,
334
00:16:55,860 --> 00:17:00,530
"We really-- We really need to put
the whipped cream can-- canisters
335
00:17:00,598 --> 00:17:03,300
"back where we got them."
336
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:04,634
And just,
337
00:17:04,702 --> 00:17:06,369
- I mean, middle managers.
- Yeah.
338
00:17:06,437 --> 00:17:08,738
They are killing me.
339
00:17:08,806 --> 00:17:12,509
Like, they are holding
some status over you
340
00:17:12,576 --> 00:17:14,177
that you
desperately want their job.
341
00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:15,077
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
342
00:17:15,145 --> 00:17:16,479
Like, you want to be,
343
00:17:16,547 --> 00:17:20,082
"Like-- Round up, you guys."
344
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:21,250
Not the round up.
345
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:22,752
- Please, not the...
- (both) round up.
346
00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:24,788
"Let's-- Let's take a knee,
you guys.
347
00:17:24,855 --> 00:17:27,123
"Good job.
Good morning,
348
00:17:27,191 --> 00:17:31,494
"but we're really falling
behind with cleanliness."
349
00:17:31,562 --> 00:17:33,196
And you see these are
the motherfuckers that are
350
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:35,597
just always be havin'-- smokin'
cigarettes outside the back.
351
00:17:35,665 --> 00:17:36,632
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
352
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,400
"You want another break?
353
00:17:38,468 --> 00:17:39,635
"You want another break?"
354
00:17:39,703 --> 00:17:41,437
- What are you doin'?
- Okay, okay.
355
00:17:48,439 --> 00:17:50,773
What flavor you got?
356
00:17:50,841 --> 00:17:51,941
Vanilla.
357
00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:53,510
Flavor do you got?
358
00:17:53,577 --> 00:17:55,012
Lemon zinger.
359
00:17:55,079 --> 00:17:56,380
Lemon zinger like that tea?
360
00:17:56,447 --> 00:17:57,981
- Oh.
- What?
361
00:17:58,049 --> 00:17:59,216
Oh, no.
362
00:17:59,283 --> 00:18:00,884
No-no.
363
00:18:00,951 --> 00:18:02,319
I got that brain freeze.
364
00:18:02,387 --> 00:18:03,586
Oh, man. The fuck you do.
365
00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:06,789
- You ain't no brain freeze.
- Oh.
366
00:18:06,857 --> 00:18:08,758
Man, dude. Relax, man.
That shit pass, man.
367
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,760
- Calm down.
- It ain't passing.
368
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,261
Ooh. It's intensifying.
369
00:18:12,329 --> 00:18:13,530
What do you mean not passin'?
What do you mean, man?
370
00:18:13,597 --> 00:18:15,197
That can't be intensifyin', dog.
371
00:18:15,265 --> 00:18:16,566
Whoo.
372
00:18:16,634 --> 00:18:18,434
Come on, man.
You say you from the hood, dog.
373
00:18:18,502 --> 00:18:21,070
You actin' weak right now
with this brain freeze.
374
00:18:21,138 --> 00:18:22,772
- Ahh! Ow!
- Come on.
375
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,408
Ain't no brain freeze gonna make
you yell like that, man.
376
00:18:25,475 --> 00:18:27,410
Get over--don't be hittin'
your head with the brain freeze.
377
00:18:27,477 --> 00:18:29,512
Come on. Hey. Yo,
you goin' silver balls on that?
378
00:18:29,579 --> 00:18:30,913
Silver balls on a string,
kinetic energy.
379
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,515
Please shut your--
380
00:18:32,582 --> 00:18:33,882
What's wrong with you?
381
00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:35,151
Come on. Okay, Exorcist.
382
00:18:35,218 --> 00:18:36,752
What are you doin' now?
383
00:18:36,819 --> 00:18:39,988
What, you doin' some kung fu?
Get over it, man. Listen.
384
00:18:40,057 --> 00:18:43,125
It can't be doin' this much
to you.
385
00:18:43,193 --> 00:18:44,726
Listen, man.
Don't be a punk ass bitch, man.
386
00:18:44,794 --> 00:18:45,894
Get over the-- What,
are you afraid now?
387
00:18:45,962 --> 00:18:47,229
You seein' things?
You just scared?
388
00:18:47,297 --> 00:18:48,397
Brain freeze making you scared?
389
00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:49,664
Who are you?
390
00:18:49,731 --> 00:18:50,898
Oh-- What do you mean,
"Who am I?"
391
00:18:50,966 --> 00:18:52,033
You ain't got
no Alzheimer's.
392
00:18:52,101 --> 00:18:54,802
- What's wrong with you.
- Help.
393
00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:56,804
You a punk ass bitch.
What is this?
394
00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:59,840
You goin' Three Stooges
on this mong.
395
00:18:59,908 --> 00:19:02,410
This is some crazy ass-- Oh,
you even did the hand block.
396
00:19:02,478 --> 00:19:04,979
You know what, man?
397
00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:07,215
You're weak, man.
You a weak ass motherfucker.
398
00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:09,317
That's the problem.
'cause you're--
399
00:19:09,385 --> 00:19:10,584
- Mmm!
- Oh, whoa.
400
00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:12,219
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
401
00:19:12,287 --> 00:19:13,587
Hold up now. Hold up now.
Hold up now.
402
00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:14,821
Hold up now. Hold up, man.
403
00:19:14,889 --> 00:19:16,856
You gonna continue
to eat the froyo eatin'
404
00:19:16,924 --> 00:19:19,460
on top of the brain freeze?
What are you doin', dog?
405
00:19:19,527 --> 00:19:22,196
Hey, now I'm really startin'
to respect you now, man.
406
00:19:22,263 --> 00:19:24,331
If you gonna eat the thing
that's causing you the pain?
407
00:19:24,399 --> 00:19:26,567
This is great.
Oh, oh, now it's goin' faster.
408
00:19:26,634 --> 00:19:27,901
Now you're speedin' up.
409
00:19:27,969 --> 00:19:30,203
He's steerin'
into the brain freeze.
410
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,239
This shit is straight
crazy right here, dog.
411
00:19:33,307 --> 00:19:34,740
Hey. Real talk, though?
Real talk, though?
412
00:19:34,808 --> 00:19:36,476
Real talk, though? I mean,
this crazier than the time, man,
413
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,943
that I strangled Benny
with my bare hands
414
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,278
'cause he didn't have my money.
415
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,980
All right. We got 'em.
416
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,849
Got who? What?
417
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:44,883
What? You 5-0?
418
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,086
Stand up slowly.
419
00:19:47,154 --> 00:19:49,155
What? I can't believe this.
420
00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:50,956
Man, I known you
since the 6th grade.
421
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,559
You under arrest for the
murder of Benny Tacktheritrix.
422
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,028
Get him out of here.
423
00:19:56,096 --> 00:19:59,031
Hey, man, you a punk ass
brain freeze motherfucker.
424
00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:02,768
And you goin' to jail
for a long time.
425
00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:05,704
I'm in too deep.
426
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:06,705
Ahh.
427
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,641
I got the brain freeze.
428
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,242
Got caught with
the brain freeze.
429
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,576
Yeah,
you got that brain freeze!
430
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:12,544
Get him out of here.
431
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:16,914
Do you remember when
Catherine Zeta-Jones
432
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,350
was in Entrapment?
433
00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:20,584
Do I remember?
434
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,569
This bitch,
she doing a back bend
435
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,555
but she upside down
and she on the floor.
436
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:25,558
Going through the laser--
437
00:20:25,594 --> 00:20:26,958
Going through the laser storm
like this?
438
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,192
Going through the lasers.
439
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,326
Going through the lasers.
440
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,594
I'm gonna watch it, dude.
441
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,296
- Say, "Hey, sweetie."
- Say what?
442
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:33,564
"Maybe we should go
to the movies this weekend.
443
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:36,300
- You got, uh..."
- Say, "Who is this?"
444
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:37,568
"Catherine Zeta-Jones."
You know what I mean?
445
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:38,569
You know what I'm sayin'?
446
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,904
She was-- She...Oh.
447
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:41,805
Do you remember, um,
Career Opportunities
448
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,574
when Jennifer Connelly
was on that horse?
449
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,176
- All like...
- Ooh.
450
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:46,677
You talkin' about things
I can't forget now.
451
00:20:46,744 --> 00:20:47,911
Talkin' about that--
you were like--
452
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:51,048
That was--
that shit was my awakening.
453
00:20:51,115 --> 00:20:53,050
(laughs)
454
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,353
I'm gonna do my one line here.
455
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,222
Oh, yeah.
456
00:20:58,415 --> 00:21:01,572
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
457
00:21:01,622 --> 00:21:06,172
Repair and Synchronization by
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