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1
00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:03,635
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
2
00:00:03,702 --> 00:00:06,638
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:10,108
♪ travel down the road
and back again ♪
4
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,077
♪ your heart is true ♪
5
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:16,915
♪ you're a pal
and a confidante ♪
6
00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:20,385
♪ and if you threw
a party ♪
7
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:24,389
♪ invited everyone
you knew ♪
8
00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:26,191
♪ you would see ♪
9
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:28,893
♪ the biggest gift
would be from me ♪
10
00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:30,962
♪ and the card attached
would say ♪
11
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,631
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,699 --> 00:00:35,333
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:38,970
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪♪
14
00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:48,513
Captioning made possible by
witt/thomas/harris productions,
cbs television network,
15
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,949
And 1992 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
16
00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:07,099
Yes, sir,
the golden palace
romantic getaway weekend
17
00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:09,201
Comes with
a lot of extras--
18
00:01:09,268 --> 00:01:10,702
Complimentary
bottle of champagne,
19
00:01:10,769 --> 00:01:12,971
Candlelight dinner,
black satin sheets.
20
00:01:13,038 --> 00:01:16,475
Tell him about
the coloring books.
21
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,978
O.K., great.
I'll go ahead and
enter your reservation.
22
00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:21,179
All right, thank you.
23
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,947
I can't believe this,
rose.
24
00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:24,483
We're almost
booked solid.
25
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:27,119
You should
trust my instincts
more often.
26
00:01:27,186 --> 00:01:30,088
How'd you know
this romantic getaway
would be so popular?
27
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,825
I remembered something
my minister said
when I was little--
28
00:01:33,892 --> 00:01:37,329
"moses parting the red sea
is a nice story,
29
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:40,532
But mary magdalene
really packs a pew."
30
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:43,001
What does that mean?
31
00:01:43,068 --> 00:01:45,270
Sex sells, baby.
32
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,474
Hey, sophia, where
does this thing go?
33
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:50,442
Over there.
34
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:51,943
To be honest,
35
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,945
This is why
everybody's coming.
36
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,449
Getting doctor ursula for
one of her lecture weekends
37
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,850
Was a real coup.
38
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:01,753
I've never even
heard of her
before this.
39
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,255
Of course you have.
40
00:02:03,322 --> 00:02:04,722
She's the love doctor.
41
00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:06,991
She's on
all the talk shows.
42
00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:09,161
She writes
all those sex books.
43
00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:10,995
I think
doctor ursula's great.
44
00:02:11,063 --> 00:02:13,498
I checked out
one of her books.
45
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:14,999
It's called
46
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:19,137
New sexual positionsfor the senior citizen.
47
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,972
And?
48
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,442
Art linkletter's selling
lots of adjustable beds
this year.
49
00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:27,512
Well, this sounds awesome.
I'm there.
50
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,514
I've been having
some problems
51
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,283
With my sexual partners
lately.
52
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:32,350
Such as?
53
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,519
I don't have any.
54
00:02:35,888 --> 00:02:37,822
All you have to do
55
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:41,092
Is find a man
you're sexually
compatible with.
56
00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:48,667
Stop looking at me.
57
00:02:48,734 --> 00:02:52,136
Everybody used to
ask me to dance.
58
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:54,239
You like to dance?
59
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,474
I love "disco nit"
at the center--
60
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:57,975
The music,
the mingling.
61
00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:59,944
I'm not crazy about
the strobe lights,
62
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:02,347
But it does make us
look like we're moving.
63
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:04,916
Why doesn't
anybody ask you
to dance anymore?
64
00:03:04,983 --> 00:03:07,219
I think
- I've lost my sex appeal.
65
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:12,490
I said I think
I've lost my sex appeal.
66
00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:14,992
Oh, no
- oh, no.
- Oh, no.
67
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:16,494
You're a hot babe.
68
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,997
You're just being
condescending
to an old lady,
69
00:03:20,065 --> 00:03:21,999
But I'm a person,
damn it.
70
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:24,502
If you prick me,
do I not bleed...
71
00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:26,371
Eventually?
72
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:31,509
You won't believe
who left a message
on my answering service--
73
00:03:31,577 --> 00:03:34,011
Taylor michaels.
He's coming to town.
74
00:03:34,079 --> 00:03:34,979
Who?
75
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:37,515
Taylor michaels.
I told you about him.
76
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:38,850
We went
to college together.
77
00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:41,519
I wanted him
in the worst way.
78
00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:43,521
Unfortunately, so did
my roommate lauren.
79
00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:45,457
We fought tooth and nail
over him.
80
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:48,526
Yeah, but you won,
right, blanche?
81
00:03:48,594 --> 00:03:50,228
Right, blanche?
82
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,029
No. She did.
83
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,032
I didn't hear you.
What?
84
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:57,802
She got her butt kicked.
85
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,471
I lost, all right?
86
00:03:59,538 --> 00:04:01,973
Is that what you
wanted to hear,
87
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,975
That one time
blanche devereaux
88
00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:06,645
Lost a man
to another woman?
89
00:04:06,712 --> 00:04:08,045
Are you happy?
90
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,583
I have no heroes left!
91
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,451
No, no, no. Shh.
92
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:15,285
Aw, it fine.
93
00:04:21,092 --> 00:04:22,025
Hello.
94
00:04:22,093 --> 00:04:24,027
Hello.
May I help you?
95
00:04:24,095 --> 00:04:26,530
Yes. I'd like a room,
please.
96
00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:28,031
All righty.
97
00:04:28,099 --> 00:04:30,768
I have one with
a beautiful ocean view.
98
00:04:30,836 --> 00:04:33,537
If it's half as beautiful
as the view now,
99
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:35,973
I think that
would be perfect.
100
00:04:38,109 --> 00:04:41,579
Wait. Do you mean me
or the mail slots?
101
00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:45,683
No, no, no.
You, of course.
102
00:04:45,751 --> 00:04:47,852
Oh, goody.
103
00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:50,821
Blanche?
104
00:04:50,889 --> 00:04:51,989
Blanche
hollingsworth?
105
00:04:52,056 --> 00:04:52,990
It's me.
106
00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:54,458
Taylor michaels.
107
00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:55,993
Oh, taylor!
108
00:04:56,060 --> 00:04:58,496
Oh, I do not
believe this!
109
00:04:58,563 --> 00:04:59,997
Just look at you.
110
00:05:00,064 --> 00:05:01,565
Would you look at him?
111
00:05:01,633 --> 00:05:04,167
I'm looking,
I'm looking.
112
00:05:04,235 --> 00:05:06,236
You look
exactly the same.
113
00:05:06,304 --> 00:05:08,138
I know.
114
00:05:08,206 --> 00:05:11,575
I could just eat you
with a spoon.
115
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:13,010
Rose, get me a spoon.
116
00:05:13,077 --> 00:05:17,014
Rose? Is that
what this delightful
young lady's name is?
117
00:05:17,081 --> 00:05:18,516
Yes, I'm sorry, taylor.
118
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:21,351
This is
my business associate
rose nylund.
119
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:23,421
Rose.
- What a beautiful name.
120
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:25,589
You should
see the flower.
121
00:05:30,161 --> 00:05:32,630
Taylor,
how'd you find me?
122
00:05:32,697 --> 00:05:35,032
I read
- you bought this hotel
123
00:05:35,099 --> 00:05:36,534
In our hometown newspaper.
124
00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:39,036
I'm in miami
for the hog convention.
125
00:05:39,103 --> 00:05:40,838
I thought I'd stay here,
126
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:42,940
And I'm glad I did.
127
00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:44,475
Oh, goody.
128
00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:49,012
Do you have any plans
while you're in town?
129
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,514
Well, I hope so.
130
00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:56,520
Rose, would you like
to have dinner
with me tonight?
131
00:05:56,588 --> 00:05:57,855
Yes.
132
00:05:57,923 --> 00:06:01,391
I mean...I'll have to
check my schedule first.
133
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:03,561
Excuse us for a moment.
134
00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,464
Blanche,
I really like him,
135
00:06:06,531 --> 00:06:08,499
But I know
he's your friend,
136
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:09,767
And I won't go.
137
00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:11,234
Honey,
don't be ridiculous.
138
00:06:11,302 --> 00:06:14,472
I'll have time
to be with taylor.
139
00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:17,341
Go on and enjoy this
one-time-only event.
140
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:19,810
I guess
I should warn you.
141
00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:21,846
He does raise
prize pigs.
142
00:06:21,913 --> 00:06:24,615
You might have
to sit through
endless pig stories.
143
00:06:24,683 --> 00:06:29,086
You don't have to sell me.
I already said yes.
144
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:36,360
I signed up for
the love doctor's class.
145
00:06:36,427 --> 00:06:38,195
Wasn't that
couples only?
146
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:44,535
You can forget that.
147
00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:47,538
I've seen that look
in your eye before.
148
00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:49,473
That's the same
look you had
149
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:52,342
When you asked me
to fix your shower.
150
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:53,777
What was wrong
with that?
151
00:06:53,845 --> 00:06:56,714
You were using it
at the time.
152
00:06:56,781 --> 00:06:58,983
You're still
whining about that?
153
00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:01,819
I had a shower cap on.
154
00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:04,655
I really don't want to go
to this class with you.
155
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:07,525
People's personal lives
should be a private manner.
156
00:07:07,592 --> 00:07:08,626
I noticed.
157
00:07:08,693 --> 00:07:11,562
I asked about
your last date,
you refused.
158
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,598
U asked me
if I got any.
159
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,634
Well, did you?
160
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,641
Tell me what's
going on with you.
161
00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:24,909
I really am interested.
162
00:07:24,976 --> 00:07:26,376
Alall right, look.
163
00:07:26,444 --> 00:07:29,212
The last few women
that I've dated,
164
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,715
After we started
to get close,
165
00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:32,716
We just couldn't relate.
166
00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,217
I guess
it all began--
167
00:07:34,285 --> 00:07:36,219
I'm sorry.
I hate to interrupt,
168
00:07:36,287 --> 00:07:38,956
But as it turns out,
I'm not that interested.
169
00:07:41,459 --> 00:07:43,894
But maybe
the love doctor is.
170
00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:46,496
Of course...
Couples only.
171
00:07:46,565 --> 00:07:49,132
All right, sophia,
I'll go.
172
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,468
Hot damn!
173
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:54,071
Roland,
have you seen rose?
174
00:07:54,138 --> 00:07:55,806
She's still not
back with taylor.
175
00:07:55,874 --> 00:07:58,175
They've been gone
all this time?
176
00:07:58,242 --> 00:08:02,345
What could they
possibly have to
talk about besides pigs?
177
00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:04,748
Chickens,
chickens, chickens.
178
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:08,586
It looks like
somebody had a good time.
179
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,588
We had a great time.
180
00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:13,557
He's taking me
to the landing tomorrow,
181
00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:15,092
That new restaurant.
182
00:08:15,159 --> 00:08:17,127
That is,
if you don't mind.
183
00:08:17,195 --> 00:08:18,696
Why would I mind?
184
00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:20,163
If my old friend
185
00:08:20,231 --> 00:08:22,633
And my even
older roommate...
186
00:08:24,435 --> 00:08:25,703
Are interested
in each other,
187
00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:27,805
Who could be
happier than me?
188
00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:30,240
Thank you, blanche.
189
00:08:30,308 --> 00:08:33,210
Wow, blanche.
That's a great thing
you just did,
190
00:08:33,277 --> 00:08:35,012
Stepping aside
like that.
191
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,415
You realize
this means war.
192
00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:47,091
I'm sorry about
the inconvenience, sir.
193
00:08:47,158 --> 00:08:49,126
The maid should've
stocked your bathroom.
194
00:08:49,193 --> 00:08:51,996
We'll send somebody up
right away.
195
00:08:52,063 --> 00:08:53,897
Well, we're off to dinner.
196
00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:55,132
Wait, rose.
197
00:08:55,199 --> 00:08:57,601
Did you forget
the toilet paper?
198
00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:58,969
It's a nice restaurant.
199
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,771
I'm sure
they'll have some.
200
00:09:00,839 --> 00:09:03,641
But I guess
better safe than sorry.
201
00:09:03,708 --> 00:09:05,142
No, no, rose. Wait.
202
00:09:05,209 --> 00:09:06,644
We've been
getting complaints.
203
00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:08,646
Nobody has gotten
their towels,
204
00:09:08,713 --> 00:09:10,714
Or their toilet paper,
or their soap.
205
00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:12,650
I did that hours ago.
206
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:14,184
There must be
some mistake.
207
00:09:14,252 --> 00:09:15,185
[telephone rings]
208
00:09:15,253 --> 00:09:17,087
Would you
check into it,
please?
209
00:09:17,155 --> 00:09:18,656
That'll take an hour.
210
00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:20,157
We'll lose
our reservatns.
211
00:09:20,224 --> 00:09:22,126
That's all right.
I'll wait here.
212
00:09:22,193 --> 00:09:24,227
We'll go
somewhere else later.
213
00:09:27,231 --> 00:09:28,666
"the love doctor.
214
00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:30,000
Couples only."
215
00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:32,836
Yeah.
I'm going with sophia.
216
00:09:34,505 --> 00:09:35,839
O.K., taylor, let's go.
217
00:09:35,907 --> 00:09:38,676
Rose doesn't want
those reservations
to go to waste
218
00:09:38,743 --> 00:09:40,177
And asked me to go.
219
00:09:40,244 --> 00:09:41,178
But she said--
220
00:09:41,245 --> 00:09:44,381
No buts. This is
what rose wants.
221
00:09:44,448 --> 00:09:45,415
[telephone rings]
222
00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:46,416
Front desk.
223
00:09:46,484 --> 00:09:48,686
Yes, sir,
- she's on her way up now.
224
00:09:48,753 --> 00:09:50,087
Sorry about
the inconvenience.
225
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:53,691
Roland, I need the key
to the supply closet.
226
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,192
Where's taylor?
227
00:09:55,259 --> 00:09:57,360
He left with blanche
for dinner.
228
00:09:57,428 --> 00:10:00,597
She said you
didn't want those
reservations wasted.
229
00:10:00,665 --> 00:10:02,900
But I never
talked to blanche.
230
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:07,404
Look at all the toilet paper
I found in the freezer.
231
00:10:07,471 --> 00:10:09,707
How many times
must I tell blanche,
232
00:10:09,774 --> 00:10:12,275
"please don't freeze
the charmin"?
233
00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:14,745
Chuy.
234
00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:18,215
Who would want to use
frozen toilet paper?
235
00:10:18,282 --> 00:10:21,785
At my age,
any thrill will do.
236
00:10:26,257 --> 00:10:27,825
Sorry about this,
rose.
237
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:29,226
Oh, I'm fine.
238
00:10:29,293 --> 00:10:31,729
If blanche needs to
spend time with taylor,
239
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:32,730
I understand.
240
00:10:32,797 --> 00:10:34,364
I'm her closest friend.
241
00:10:34,432 --> 00:10:35,799
You're going
to get even.
242
00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,268
Norwegian people
don't get even.
243
00:10:38,336 --> 00:10:39,737
I thought
you were swedish.
244
00:10:39,804 --> 00:10:41,805
I am.
245
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,716
Where's the fire?
246
00:11:00,724 --> 00:11:02,658
Somebody paged me
at the restaurant,
247
00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:04,861
Said there was
a hotel kitchen fire.
248
00:11:12,069 --> 00:11:13,569
Don't worry,
blanche.
249
00:11:13,637 --> 00:11:15,604
I put out that fire
250
00:11:15,672 --> 00:11:18,474
With all the cold
toilet paper
in the freezer.
251
00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:20,609
I don't have
the faintest idea
252
00:11:20,677 --> 00:11:22,445
What you're
prattling on about.
253
00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:23,947
You sabotaged
my date.
254
00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:26,615
Did you think
I was too dumb
to figure it out?
255
00:11:26,683 --> 00:11:28,184
Frankly, yes.
256
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:31,120
Admit it--it's
driving you crazy
257
00:11:31,188 --> 00:11:33,622
That taylor likes me
better than you.
258
00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:35,658
That's why
you're being
so competitive.
259
00:11:35,726 --> 00:11:38,127
I don't need to be
competitive with you.
260
00:11:38,195 --> 00:11:39,795
This is
not some race.
261
00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:40,864
Ladies.
262
00:11:42,199 --> 00:11:44,133
What--
- is everything all right?
263
00:11:44,201 --> 00:11:46,635
It was just
a stupid false alarm
264
00:11:46,703 --> 00:11:48,637
That ruined
a perfectly good
evening.
265
00:11:48,705 --> 00:11:50,639
Let's try it again
tomorrow night,
266
00:11:50,707 --> 00:11:52,641
This time with
no interruptions.
267
00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:55,644
We've already
made dinner plans
for tomorrow night.
268
00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:58,647
I'm sure taylor
would rather spend
the evening with me.
269
00:11:58,715 --> 00:12:00,649
Taylor can make
his own decisions.
270
00:12:00,717 --> 00:12:02,151
Taylor
ought to speak--
271
00:12:02,219 --> 00:12:06,222
Why don't all three of us
have dinner tomorrow night?
272
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:09,325
Oh. That's a
splendid suggestion.
273
00:12:09,393 --> 00:12:10,426
Fine with me.
274
00:12:10,494 --> 00:12:11,427
That's wonderful.
275
00:12:11,495 --> 00:12:13,429
I'm going to bed now.
276
00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:14,998
Good night, ladies.
277
00:12:24,841 --> 00:12:26,709
Aw, honey,
I bet that hurt.
278
00:12:28,178 --> 00:12:29,678
Good!
279
00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:37,120
Aw, man.
280
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,122
I'm really
uncomfortable
about this, sophia.
281
00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:41,291
Look at this--
everybody's
staring at us.
282
00:12:41,358 --> 00:12:44,060
No, they're not.
283
00:12:44,128 --> 00:12:47,030
What, you've never
seen a may-December,
284
00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:50,766
Afro-american-italian
relationship before?
285
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:53,069
Hello, everybody.
286
00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:54,570
I'm doctor ursula,
287
00:12:54,638 --> 00:12:57,573
Otherwise known
as the love doctor,
288
00:12:57,641 --> 00:12:59,575
And today
you're going to learn
289
00:12:59,643 --> 00:13:02,078
How to open up and share
with your partner.
290
00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:04,580
Let's get started by
getting one of our couples
291
00:13:04,648 --> 00:13:06,515
Up here
into the love circle
292
00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:08,952
And we'll help them
resolve some problem areas.
293
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:10,486
Who wants to be first?
294
00:13:12,589 --> 00:13:14,023
Put your hand down.
295
00:13:14,091 --> 00:13:15,458
Stop it.
296
00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:18,194
This looks
like fertile ground.
297
00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:20,029
We don't
have a problem.
298
00:13:20,097 --> 00:13:23,466
Yes, we do.
Help us,
doctor love.
299
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:24,500
Sign here.
300
00:13:24,568 --> 00:13:25,534
What's this?
301
00:13:25,602 --> 00:13:26,735
It's a relea form.
302
00:13:26,803 --> 00:13:29,405
You two are definitely
in my next brochure.
303
00:13:32,776 --> 00:13:35,711
If you'll just come into
the love circle, please.
304
00:13:35,779 --> 00:13:37,680
No, no.
Over here, please.
305
00:13:37,747 --> 00:13:39,215
Thank you.
306
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:40,249
Well, then...
307
00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:42,352
What's your problem,
sweetheart?
308
00:13:42,419 --> 00:13:43,919
I want sex.
309
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:48,557
Well, that seems like
a simple enough request.
310
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:50,126
Then you do it.
311
00:13:52,829 --> 00:13:55,264
Here, we're actually
less interested in sex
312
00:13:55,332 --> 00:13:57,400
And more interested
in love.
313
00:13:57,468 --> 00:13:59,235
One way
of expressing love
314
00:13:59,303 --> 00:14:00,769
Is through
touching exercises.
315
00:14:00,837 --> 00:14:02,571
No touching.
316
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:05,041
See what I
have to put up with?
317
00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:09,112
I want you to take
each other by the hands.
318
00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:17,786
Now look deeply
into your partner's eyes.
319
00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:28,231
And say,
"hello, lover."
320
00:14:29,799 --> 00:14:31,800
Hello, lover.
321
00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:39,242
Roland's not getting
out of the love circle
322
00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:40,809
Until he says this.
323
00:14:42,812 --> 00:14:44,313
Hell--
324
00:14:45,815 --> 00:14:47,250
Ahem.
325
00:14:47,317 --> 00:14:48,817
Hell-l--
326
00:14:51,821 --> 00:14:53,222
Hell
will freeze over
327
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,758
Before I say
"hello, lover"
to this woman.
328
00:14:57,327 --> 00:14:58,261
Roland.
329
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,063
I'm sorry,
I can't sa--
330
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:03,032
It's not sophia,
it's me.
I'm sorry.
331
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,434
Roland, the first step
332
00:15:04,501 --> 00:15:06,969
In overcoming
your fear of intimacy
333
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:10,339
Is being able to say
"I love you" to anyone,
334
00:15:10,407 --> 00:15:11,840
So try telling sophia.
335
00:15:12,909 --> 00:15:14,710
I lo--
336
00:15:14,778 --> 00:15:17,146
Just try,
roland.
337
00:15:18,782 --> 00:15:20,416
I love you, sophia.
338
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:21,951
Aww...
- Aww...
- Aww...
339
00:15:22,018 --> 00:15:23,486
Very good, roland.
340
00:15:23,554 --> 00:15:25,654
A big step for you.
341
00:15:25,722 --> 00:15:28,691
Yeah,
that wasn't so bad.
Maybe that did help.
342
00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:31,127
Now then, sophia,
what's your problem?
343
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:33,129
I don't have a problem.
344
00:15:33,197 --> 00:15:36,165
I wanted the kid
to work out his problem.
345
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,366
For me?
346
00:15:37,434 --> 00:15:39,802
I still want somebody
to dance with.
347
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:41,737
Still, that
was nice of you.
348
00:15:41,805 --> 00:15:43,906
You must really
care for roland.
349
00:15:43,974 --> 00:15:45,575
He's all right.
350
00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:47,876
"all right"?
351
00:15:47,944 --> 00:15:48,877
I like him.
352
00:15:48,945 --> 00:15:49,878
"like him"?
353
00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:52,781
What the hell--
I love you, roland.
354
00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:54,283
Aww.
355
00:15:57,321 --> 00:15:59,255
Come on, you
little sea monkey.
356
00:15:59,323 --> 00:16:00,756
I'm taking you
dancing.
357
00:16:00,824 --> 00:16:02,658
We're so happy.
358
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,761
Big success.
Big success.
359
00:16:09,199 --> 00:16:10,699
That's where I found out
360
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:13,669
What "pig in the blanket"
really meant.
361
00:16:14,771 --> 00:16:17,206
Oh, taylor,
you have to stop.
362
00:16:17,274 --> 00:16:20,709
My stomach
hurts from
laughing so hard.
363
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,711
Rose, would you
push your chair back?
364
00:16:22,779 --> 00:16:25,881
All that jiggling
is causing
our coffee to spill.
365
00:16:28,285 --> 00:16:30,719
If you ladies
will excuse me,
366
00:16:30,787 --> 00:16:33,222
I have to go
- to the little boys' room.
367
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,991
Later we could go
up to my room.
368
00:16:36,059 --> 00:16:39,462
I have a delicious
after-dinner treat
waiting there for you.
369
00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:41,230
Are you sure
there's any left?
370
00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:44,500
You've been
giving out a lot
of samples lately.
371
00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:49,772
Excuse me.
- I'll be back in a second.
372
00:16:49,839 --> 00:16:52,741
Why don't you just
leap into his lap?
373
00:16:52,809 --> 00:16:54,710
I don't know what
you're talking about.
374
00:16:54,778 --> 00:16:56,279
I haven't
been flirting.
375
00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:58,747
Blanche, you
offered to open
his baked potato
376
00:16:58,815 --> 00:17:00,316
With your tongue.
377
00:17:02,319 --> 00:17:03,686
Like you're any better,
378
00:17:03,753 --> 00:17:07,690
Little miss--I dropped
my corn on the cob
down my cleavage.
379
00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:10,125
Can somebody help me
get it out?
380
00:17:10,194 --> 00:17:13,696
You're just mad
'cause all that fits
in your cleavage
381
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:15,698
Is a peanut.
382
00:17:15,765 --> 00:17:17,200
Oh, that does it.
383
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:19,202
Oh, the gloves are off.
384
00:17:19,269 --> 00:17:21,204
Let's see
how smug you are
385
00:17:21,271 --> 00:17:23,105
When he leaves
here with me.
386
00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:26,108
Sorry about that.
Did I miss anything?
387
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:28,110
Oh, well, rose and I
388
00:17:28,178 --> 00:17:30,179
Were just playing
a little game.
389
00:17:30,247 --> 00:17:34,183
Taylor, if you
were all alone
on a desert island
390
00:17:34,251 --> 00:17:38,654
And you could have
either rose or me
for companionship,
391
00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:39,988
Who would you choose?
392
00:17:40,056 --> 00:17:42,024
Oh, gosh.
I don't know.
393
00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:44,227
It's a desert island.
394
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:48,264
You'll have no one else
to look at or talk to.
395
00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:51,166
Rose.
396
00:17:54,304 --> 00:17:56,805
Now, see,
it's a desert island.
397
00:17:57,807 --> 00:18:00,209
There's nothing to do,
398
00:18:00,277 --> 00:18:03,212
So you'll probably
be wanting to engage
399
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,314
In certain
adult activities.
400
00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:08,417
Now who
would you choose?
401
00:18:09,419 --> 00:18:10,819
Rose.
402
00:18:12,822 --> 00:18:14,757
Look...
403
00:18:14,824 --> 00:18:16,259
It's a desert island.
404
00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:19,428
The sun beats down
with a harsh intensity.
405
00:18:19,496 --> 00:18:21,764
Anybody with
fair, swedish skin's
gonna end up
406
00:18:21,831 --> 00:18:25,934
Looking like an old
leather handbag.
Who would you choose?
407
00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:27,002
Rose. I...
408
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:29,272
Blanche,
- what's going on here?
409
00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:31,741
Nothing. Nothing's
going on here.
410
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:34,377
Nothing has ever
been going on here.
411
00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,379
Not between you and me.
412
00:18:36,446 --> 00:18:39,348
Not 40 years ago,
not now, not ever!
413
00:18:42,753 --> 00:18:45,755
For what it's worth,
I would bring sunblock.
414
00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:51,260
What's going on?
415
00:18:51,328 --> 00:18:52,795
Why should you care
416
00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:55,298
If taylor has
a crush on me?
417
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:57,767
Because
it's just history
repeating itself, rose.
418
00:18:57,834 --> 00:19:00,303
It's just like
in college with lauren.
419
00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:01,771
Taylor prefers
you over me.
420
00:19:01,838 --> 00:19:03,205
For some
incomprehensible reason,
421
00:19:03,273 --> 00:19:05,741
He wants you
and not me,
422
00:19:05,809 --> 00:19:07,209
And I can't handle it.
423
00:19:07,277 --> 00:19:10,179
If I can't attract a man,
what's the point?
424
00:19:10,246 --> 00:19:12,214
Blanche, you can't
base your self-worth
425
00:19:12,282 --> 00:19:14,617
On whether
men find you
attractive or not.
426
00:19:14,685 --> 00:19:17,753
I most certainly can.
Doesn't every woman?
427
00:19:17,821 --> 00:19:21,256
No! Gosh, if I
did that, well...
428
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:25,328
Actually,
right now I'd be
flying pretty high.
429
00:19:27,297 --> 00:19:29,765
The truth is, when
it comes to men,
430
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:31,767
You just can't
control yourself.
431
00:19:31,835 --> 00:19:33,636
That's not true.
432
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:35,638
How many
good women friends
433
00:19:35,706 --> 00:19:38,507
Have you driven
away with your
competitiveness?
434
00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:41,344
All of them.
435
00:19:42,346 --> 00:19:44,279
My god, you're right.
436
00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:45,948
All of them, rose.
437
00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:48,283
I mean, after
all these years,
438
00:19:48,352 --> 00:19:51,620
I should be more
important to you
than taylor.
439
00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:53,789
Aw, honey...
440
00:19:53,857 --> 00:19:55,791
You are.
441
00:19:55,859 --> 00:19:59,795
Oh, your friendship's
the most important
thing in my life.
442
00:19:59,863 --> 00:20:02,732
Oh...Oh, I've been
so foolish.
443
00:20:02,799 --> 00:20:06,335
But I tell you what
I'm going to do--
444
00:20:06,403 --> 00:20:09,238
From now on, I swear,
rose nylund,
445
00:20:09,305 --> 00:20:12,007
No man will ever
come between us again.
446
00:20:12,075 --> 00:20:13,743
Prove it.
447
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:14,943
What?
448
00:20:15,011 --> 00:20:15,944
Prove it.
449
00:20:16,012 --> 00:20:17,747
I want you
to sit there
450
00:20:17,814 --> 00:20:20,716
While I go
through that door
to taylor.
451
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,718
Think you can do it?
452
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,319
Yeah, I think so.
453
00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:26,722
O.K.
454
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,223
I'm going.
455
00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:30,760
I'm walking
toward the door.
456
00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:33,829
My hand is reaching
for the door.
457
00:20:34,831 --> 00:20:36,766
I've made contact.
458
00:20:36,833 --> 00:20:38,333
I'm pushing.
459
00:20:39,836 --> 00:20:41,336
I stubbed my toe.
460
00:20:42,839 --> 00:20:45,775
The pain is flooding
through my body.
461
00:20:45,842 --> 00:20:49,278
Big piggy is
starting to throb.
462
00:20:49,345 --> 00:20:53,315
Would you just
get through the damn
door already?
463
00:20:53,383 --> 00:20:55,584
I'm through
the damn door.
464
00:20:56,853 --> 00:20:58,353
I did it.
465
00:20:59,355 --> 00:21:00,790
I did it.
466
00:21:00,857 --> 00:21:04,727
I chose
a female friendship
467
00:21:04,795 --> 00:21:07,296
Over a relationship
with a man.
468
00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:11,534
So this is
what it feels like
469
00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:15,037
To be totally,
completely selfless.
470
00:21:16,039 --> 00:21:19,174
Feels a lot
like...Appendicitis.
471
00:21:19,242 --> 00:21:20,643
Ooh.
472
00:21:22,312 --> 00:21:26,315
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