All language subtitles for will and grace.s09e04.hdtv.x264

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,193 --> 00:00:02,856 "Will & Grace" is shot before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,762 Honey, why are you making me go to work on a Saturday? 3 00:00:06,787 --> 00:00:08,686 I should be home, making love to Stan 4 00:00:08,711 --> 00:00:10,714 and watching cartoons. 5 00:00:12,326 --> 00:00:14,889 Ah, I love cartoons! 6 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:18,953 You heard what we were talking about? 7 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,515 No. 8 00:00:21,027 --> 00:00:22,637 Jack, why do you have to use my shower? 9 00:00:22,987 --> 00:00:25,480 Four reasons: one, your water pressure's better. 10 00:00:25,848 --> 00:00:27,290 Two, you've got that hand attachment 11 00:00:27,315 --> 00:00:29,077 that gets to all those fun-to-reach areas. 12 00:00:29,157 --> 00:00:31,660 And three through four, I've had two dates this week 13 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,582 with a bear who clogged my drain. 14 00:00:33,682 --> 00:00:35,504 Since when are bears your thing? 15 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,467 I thought you were into twinks, twunks, 16 00:00:37,511 --> 00:00:40,875 and everything else that Dr. Seuss didn't write about. 17 00:00:41,771 --> 00:00:43,393 All right, Karen, let's go. 18 00:00:43,568 --> 00:00:47,232 Grace, you work too much, and you're not dating. 19 00:00:47,257 --> 00:00:48,638 It's Saturday morning. 20 00:00:48,663 --> 00:00:50,548 You should be slinking home 21 00:00:50,581 --> 00:00:52,396 with your contacts in a shot glass, 22 00:00:52,421 --> 00:00:55,826 scratches on your back, and itches on your front. 23 00:00:57,909 --> 00:00:59,708 I went on a date last week. 24 00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:01,725 Yeah, that was the meeting with the cabinet maker 25 00:01:01,793 --> 00:01:03,531 you want to use, and he was blatantly gay. 26 00:01:03,556 --> 00:01:05,547 When I came home, he was sitting on the couch 27 00:01:05,579 --> 00:01:06,778 in the pajama party position. 28 00:01:06,878 --> 00:01:08,702 I don't know that one. 29 00:01:08,727 --> 00:01:09,948 Humbled. 30 00:01:10,631 --> 00:01:13,421 Jack? Pajama party position. Please demonstrate. 31 00:01:13,446 --> 00:01:15,448 Oh, yeah, sure. 32 00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:26,034 No heterosexual man has ever sat this way. 33 00:01:27,571 --> 00:01:29,591 If a sitting position could have a lisp, 34 00:01:29,616 --> 00:01:31,990 it would be that one. 35 00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:33,312 Let's go, Kar. 36 00:01:33,412 --> 00:01:35,154 Honey, all I'm saying is that 37 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,600 if you don't start dating, 38 00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:39,569 it's gonna turn into a fireplace you never use. 39 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:42,949 Open up the flue and put a big log in there. 40 00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:49,690 Now that the men are off to work, 41 00:01:50,196 --> 00:01:52,172 what should us girls get up to? 42 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,775 - Well, I read an article... - No. 43 00:01:55,253 --> 00:01:57,418 - But you can volunteer... - Boo. 44 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,621 To clean historic houses. 45 00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:00,881 You know how people say. 46 00:02:00,906 --> 00:02:03,609 "Why is Will still single?" 47 00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:05,587 I'm not one of those people. 48 00:02:09,451 --> 00:02:10,708 Hi. 49 00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:12,596 Oh, I'm sorry, dear, but I can't give you any money. 50 00:02:12,621 --> 00:02:14,261 I don't support arts and music in schools. 51 00:02:14,286 --> 00:02:15,766 I don't need the competition. 52 00:02:16,025 --> 00:02:17,847 No, no. 53 00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:19,923 I'm looking for Jack McFarland. 54 00:02:20,023 --> 00:02:21,385 I'm Jack McFarland. 55 00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:22,810 You have a son named Elliot, right? 56 00:02:23,049 --> 00:02:24,921 Technically, although, 57 00:02:24,946 --> 00:02:26,565 like my friend Will and his hair, 58 00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:29,694 we had a falling-out years ago. 59 00:02:29,794 --> 00:02:31,255 Why do you ask? 60 00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:33,424 I found some of the letters you wrote him, 61 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:36,125 and since I'm in New York with my parents, I wanted to meet you. 62 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:37,731 I'm sorry. Who exactly are you? 63 00:02:37,756 --> 00:02:40,499 Oh, I'm Elliot's son, Skip. 64 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,571 One more time, dear. I'm a trifle "deef" 65 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,939 in my upstage ear. 66 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:48,222 I'm your grandson! 67 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,574 Can I call you grandpa? 68 00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:59,463 Oh, my God, you have to. 69 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:12,321 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com 70 00:03:13,118 --> 00:03:16,622 Hey, got ahold of Skip's parents at the hotel. 71 00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:18,173 They're on their way, grandpa. 72 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,780 Oh, please! 73 00:03:20,249 --> 00:03:22,451 I just found out my youth-obsessed best friend 74 00:03:22,476 --> 00:03:25,197 has a grandson. I am obligated to torture you. 75 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,859 It's in the contract. 76 00:03:27,059 --> 00:03:28,480 I didn't even know he existed. 77 00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:30,039 How could Elliot not tell me this? 78 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:31,813 You haven't spoken to him in years. 79 00:03:31,905 --> 00:03:33,539 Because he moved to Texas, 80 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,114 married someone super conservative, 81 00:03:35,139 --> 00:03:36,649 and he didn't even invite me to his wedding. 82 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,229 And you got your feelings hurt 83 00:03:38,254 --> 00:03:39,678 and cut him out of your life. 84 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,722 I didn't cut anything! 85 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,258 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 86 00:03:46,815 --> 00:03:48,817 Edward Sissy-hands. 87 00:03:50,359 --> 00:03:52,141 This is your chance to patch things up. 88 00:03:52,361 --> 00:03:53,968 Elliot and his wife are coming over. 89 00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:55,836 Your grandson is in there. Go talk to him. 90 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,668 How am I supposed to connect with a kid from Texas? 91 00:03:58,768 --> 00:04:00,070 I can't fish or hunt 92 00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:02,733 or tell a woman what to do with her fetus. 93 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,749 So, Skip. 94 00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:18,163 Are you having fun in New York? 95 00:04:18,263 --> 00:04:20,265 Yeah! I love it! 96 00:04:25,117 --> 00:04:27,139 Would you excuse us just for a second? 97 00:04:27,239 --> 00:04:28,239 Don't get too excited. 98 00:04:28,321 --> 00:04:29,833 We can't know for sure. 99 00:04:29,858 --> 00:04:32,521 Really? The pajama party position? 100 00:04:32,859 --> 00:04:34,561 Is that not enough evidence to convict 101 00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:36,248 misdemeanor over there? 102 00:04:36,725 --> 00:04:38,747 Take it easy. We are not doing an episode 103 00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:41,675 of "Law & Order: LGBTQ." 104 00:04:42,361 --> 00:04:45,965 Don't mind me, boys. I forgot my Birkin. 105 00:04:49,270 --> 00:04:52,393 Close your mouth, kid. You're gonna catch a fly. 106 00:04:57,513 --> 00:05:00,997 Jesse Tyler Ferguson, she is fabulous! 107 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:08,226 Okay, Google, 108 00:05:08,251 --> 00:05:09,946 turn down the lights. 109 00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:12,521 Okay, Google, turn on the lights. 110 00:05:12,628 --> 00:05:15,491 Great. Mom's home. 111 00:05:15,884 --> 00:05:17,986 Tony, I don't know what's going on here, 112 00:05:18,011 --> 00:05:20,530 but Karen always takes things too far, 113 00:05:20,555 --> 00:05:23,184 and she is grinding up against me 114 00:05:23,209 --> 00:05:24,631 right now, isn't she? 115 00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:26,638 She was, but it's more like a dry hump thing 116 00:05:26,663 --> 00:05:28,665 with a little bit of spankings. 117 00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:33,210 Stop. 118 00:05:34,504 --> 00:05:37,047 Isn't there something that you would like to say to Tony? 119 00:05:37,147 --> 00:05:38,524 Yes. 120 00:05:38,569 --> 00:05:39,911 I'm so sorry 121 00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:41,611 that I didn't think of this earlier. 122 00:05:41,636 --> 00:05:44,079 Heads up, Puerto Rico! Have a good time. 123 00:05:45,777 --> 00:05:47,644 Karen! 124 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,608 It's okay, Grace. 125 00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:51,443 Every time she does it, 126 00:05:51,536 --> 00:05:53,399 I make her send a grand to hurricane relief. 127 00:05:53,477 --> 00:05:55,479 Worth every peso. 128 00:05:57,309 --> 00:05:59,892 Karen, I don't know where to start. 129 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,680 You have got to stop 130 00:06:01,734 --> 00:06:03,837 sexually harassing the employees. 131 00:06:04,168 --> 00:06:06,920 It's bad enough that you do it to me. 132 00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:08,853 Well, honey, if you didn't want me to play with him, 133 00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:10,880 why'd you buy him for me? 134 00:06:12,678 --> 00:06:14,488 Wait a minute. 135 00:06:14,588 --> 00:06:17,915 You bought him for yourself. 136 00:06:19,034 --> 00:06:21,176 Well, good for you, honey. 137 00:06:21,296 --> 00:06:23,860 That is exactly what you need. 138 00:06:23,885 --> 00:06:26,749 I am his boss. I would never even think that. 139 00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:30,292 Oh, right. Because your snooch died. 140 00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,953 My snooch... 141 00:06:36,052 --> 00:06:38,054 is not dead. 142 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,579 Then why isn't it breathing? 143 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:48,834 For Halloween last year, 144 00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:50,459 I went as my favorite singer, Lady Gaga. 145 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,757 Do you guys know who she is? 146 00:06:53,442 --> 00:06:55,533 Know who she is? Ha! 147 00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:59,137 Excuse me. I sewed my own meat dress. 148 00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:00,499 Okay? 149 00:07:00,599 --> 00:07:02,639 I went as Lady Gaga last Halloween. 150 00:07:02,664 --> 00:07:05,528 And the one before that and the one before that and... 151 00:07:05,553 --> 00:07:08,816 and sometimes not Halloween. 152 00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:11,208 So, Skip, you didn't mention why you and your parents 153 00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,446 are here in New York. 154 00:07:12,471 --> 00:07:14,974 I'm going to a camp. Upstate somewhere. 155 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,478 The best theater camps are upstate. 156 00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:19,400 French Woods? Stagedoor? 157 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:20,964 Let me go to my apartment and get some props 158 00:07:20,989 --> 00:07:22,483 for you to take with you. Oh, my God, 159 00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,143 this is so much fun. I can't believe... 160 00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:25,671 How old is my grandpa? 161 00:07:25,754 --> 00:07:28,777 He is in his early 100s. 162 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:30,492 Yeah. 163 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,099 And if you tell him he looks 85, 164 00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:34,106 he'll be so flattered. 165 00:07:34,603 --> 00:07:36,331 - Elliot. - Hey, Will. 166 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,593 Dude, not cool. 167 00:07:37,618 --> 00:07:39,881 Oh, you cannot just run off like that. 168 00:07:40,356 --> 00:07:43,190 Wow, look at you. You're a... you're a real Texan now. 169 00:07:43,215 --> 00:07:45,176 I am. I drank the Kool-Aid 170 00:07:45,201 --> 00:07:48,485 and can no longer separate church and state. 171 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,109 That's my wife, Emma. 172 00:07:52,134 --> 00:07:54,448 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 173 00:07:54,618 --> 00:07:57,602 It's a really cute place you have here. 174 00:07:57,841 --> 00:08:01,606 Oh. It's very artsy. 175 00:08:01,706 --> 00:08:03,088 Emma's never been here before. 176 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:04,655 You don't say. 177 00:08:04,703 --> 00:08:06,567 Well, you may find it a little strange at first, 178 00:08:06,592 --> 00:08:08,754 - but we're all ex... - Now... 179 00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:14,540 A good wig 180 00:08:14,565 --> 00:08:16,307 is all about versatility. 181 00:08:16,332 --> 00:08:17,371 Okay? 182 00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:19,259 This one could be Sia 183 00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:21,554 or Cruella de Vil, 184 00:08:21,761 --> 00:08:24,845 or an indecisive Anna Wintour. 185 00:08:26,352 --> 00:08:28,675 What happened? Did you leave? 186 00:08:31,299 --> 00:08:32,640 Elliot. 187 00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:34,888 Jack. 188 00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,524 Nice costume. 189 00:08:41,969 --> 00:08:43,151 Mom, guess what. 190 00:08:43,251 --> 00:08:44,993 Jack was Lady Gaga for Halloween too. 191 00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:47,942 Oh! Fun. 192 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,359 All right, well, we need to go. 193 00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:52,000 We don't want to be late for the first day of camp. 194 00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:54,526 Yeah, it was really nice meeting all y'all. 195 00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:56,621 Could I say good-bye to Jack and Will? 196 00:08:56,674 --> 00:08:59,769 Quick, all right? We'll be down in the lobby. 197 00:08:59,869 --> 00:09:01,171 Jack. 198 00:09:01,397 --> 00:09:03,759 Elliot. 199 00:09:07,918 --> 00:09:09,220 I wish I could stay. 200 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,382 I know. Me too. 201 00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:13,584 Maybe we should, uh, get Skip to the elevator. 202 00:09:13,684 --> 00:09:15,999 Okay, yeah. Hey, what's the name of that camp, 203 00:09:16,024 --> 00:09:17,057 so I can write you? 204 00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:19,084 Camp Straighten Arrow. 205 00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:23,356 "Straighten Arrow"? 206 00:09:23,381 --> 00:09:25,261 Is that a new theater camp? I never heard of it. 207 00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:26,508 No, it's a... 208 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,115 camp my parents found to fix me. 209 00:09:28,428 --> 00:09:29,633 Fix you? 210 00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:31,638 So I can be normal. 211 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,881 Bye. 212 00:09:40,402 --> 00:09:41,823 Hey, I'm sorry about 213 00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,429 - what happened this morning. - No. No, no, no. 214 00:09:43,454 --> 00:09:44,783 Do not apologize. 215 00:09:44,808 --> 00:09:46,931 I feel terrible and embarrassed 216 00:09:46,956 --> 00:09:49,338 and hungry... but that's not about you. 217 00:09:49,438 --> 00:09:51,308 I talked to Karen. 218 00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:52,737 Look, it's not all on her, you know? 219 00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,296 We were just fooling around, and I was singing 220 00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:55,944 her favorite song. You know, "Mercy"? 221 00:09:55,999 --> 00:09:57,238 No, I don't. 222 00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,134 ♪ Baby, please have mercy on me ♪ 223 00:10:00,159 --> 00:10:03,563 ♪ Take it easy on my heart ♪ 224 00:10:04,698 --> 00:10:06,700 You can sing. 225 00:10:08,669 --> 00:10:09,901 Thanks. 226 00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:12,400 You're welcome. 227 00:10:12,526 --> 00:10:14,528 I like to sing too. 228 00:10:19,066 --> 00:10:20,533 I'm a bit of a singer myself. 229 00:10:20,569 --> 00:10:22,030 - Really? - Yeah. 230 00:10:22,103 --> 00:10:23,445 What do you sing? 231 00:10:23,685 --> 00:10:27,349 It's not like I have a song, per se... 232 00:10:27,436 --> 00:10:30,179 ♪ Green finch and linnet bird ♪ 233 00:10:30,232 --> 00:10:33,216 ♪ Nightingale, blackbird ♪ 234 00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:39,330 ♪ How is it you sing ♪ 235 00:10:42,292 --> 00:10:43,736 Not bad. Wow. 236 00:10:43,783 --> 00:10:45,863 But maybe try singing it from your diaphragm, though. 237 00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:48,557 - Do you mind if I show you? - Oh. Yeah. 238 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,917 All right. 239 00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:54,535 Okay. 240 00:10:54,635 --> 00:10:56,209 Now push your voice against it. 241 00:10:56,249 --> 00:10:59,568 Give me an... ♪ Oh ♪ 242 00:10:59,641 --> 00:11:01,663 ♪ Oh ♪ 243 00:11:01,763 --> 00:11:03,040 ♪ Oh, my God, it feels so good ♪ 244 00:11:03,065 --> 00:11:06,629 ♪ To have a man's hands on my body ♪ 245 00:11:14,597 --> 00:11:16,599 You don't know that song? 246 00:11:19,302 --> 00:11:21,204 It's a song. 247 00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,367 You know it. It's by... 248 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,629 The Dead Snooches. 249 00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:32,377 I'm gonna go and... I'm gonna go and download it for you. 250 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,430 ♪ He's got boys being boys ♪ 251 00:11:40,512 --> 00:11:41,958 ♪ In his hand ♪ 252 00:11:41,983 --> 00:11:44,085 ♪ He's got girls being girls ♪ 253 00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:45,712 ♪ In his hand ♪ 254 00:11:45,737 --> 00:11:48,160 ♪ He's got boys-only-marryin'-girls ♪ 255 00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,617 ♪ In his hand ♪ 256 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,442 ♪ He's got the whole-natural-order-of-things ♪ 257 00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:53,187 ♪ Where-people-act- like-the-Lord-intended ♪ 258 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,655 ♪ In his hands ♪ 259 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,559 ♪ He's got suits and dresses ♪ 260 00:11:58,584 --> 00:11:59,966 ♪ On the right person ♪ 261 00:11:59,994 --> 00:12:02,377 ♪ He's got boys chasing girls ♪ 262 00:12:02,404 --> 00:12:04,626 ♪ Appropriately, he's got boys... ♪ 263 00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:06,494 So what exactly 264 00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:08,261 are we supposed to do? As a sperm donor, 265 00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:10,006 the law doesn't recognize you as a relative, 266 00:12:10,031 --> 00:12:11,443 just as someone who made a little money 267 00:12:11,468 --> 00:12:13,270 doing what he would normally do for free. 268 00:12:14,023 --> 00:12:16,317 Are you suggesting that we make a life-size dummy 269 00:12:16,342 --> 00:12:18,502 using pillows and overalls and leave it in Skip's place 270 00:12:18,527 --> 00:12:19,610 while we take him away? 271 00:12:19,635 --> 00:12:20,977 Oh, my God, it's as if 272 00:12:21,002 --> 00:12:23,345 you can read the minds of other idiots. 273 00:12:23,847 --> 00:12:26,641 No, we can't kidnap him. We need a plan. 274 00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:29,049 Okay, okay, okay. Um, how about, um... 275 00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,266 Well, go ahead. Say what you were gonna say. 276 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,759 - I wasn't gonna say anything. - No, no, go ahead. 277 00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,006 I'll say mine afterwards. 278 00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:35,159 - I'll get Skip. - Skip... 279 00:12:35,184 --> 00:12:36,396 - I'll send him out here. - Him out here... 280 00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:38,259 - You tell him this is a bad place. - A bad place. 281 00:12:38,284 --> 00:12:39,712 And if he wants to leave, then we'll do 282 00:12:39,737 --> 00:12:42,899 - everything we can to help. - Help him. Yeah. 283 00:12:43,941 --> 00:12:45,359 Yeah, that's right. That's what I was gonna say. 284 00:12:45,384 --> 00:12:47,585 - Ah. - Keep going. 285 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,745 - I'll find a way to divert the staff. - Divert the staff. 286 00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:50,990 And you talk to him. 287 00:12:51,015 --> 00:12:52,015 Talk to him. Yeah. 288 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,084 Yeah, I was gonna say 289 00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:54,719 "distract the staff," but I don't know, 290 00:12:54,744 --> 00:12:56,344 I guess yours could work. 291 00:12:56,698 --> 00:12:59,457 Great, and we'll talk about having a good time 292 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:03,463 and not acting on our impure impulses. 293 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,860 It's not your fault... 294 00:13:07,609 --> 00:13:10,131 Jack? 295 00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:12,474 What are you doing here? 296 00:13:12,568 --> 00:13:14,374 What are you doing here, bringing Skip 297 00:13:14,399 --> 00:13:15,838 to a place like this? 298 00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:17,672 What happened to you, Elliot? 299 00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:19,435 What happened to us? 300 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,061 You know what happened. 301 00:13:21,086 --> 00:13:23,693 You never approved of me being with someone like Emma. 302 00:13:23,718 --> 00:13:26,141 I'm sorry if we have certain beliefs that you don't. 303 00:13:26,295 --> 00:13:28,347 Because they're terrible beliefs. 304 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,707 Oh, well, that's really open-minded. 305 00:13:30,913 --> 00:13:32,483 It's who we are, Jack. You can't 306 00:13:32,508 --> 00:13:34,014 judge someone for who they are. 307 00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:37,063 Are you honestly saying that here? 308 00:13:37,575 --> 00:13:41,039 I have never been 100% clear what irony is, 309 00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:43,689 but I'm pretty sure that's it. 310 00:13:44,008 --> 00:13:45,269 Ugh. We just... 311 00:13:45,294 --> 00:13:47,477 don't want him to... 312 00:13:47,553 --> 00:13:50,095 Turn out like me? 313 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:52,653 We're his mom and dad. 314 00:13:52,852 --> 00:13:55,134 Go home, Jack. 315 00:13:56,161 --> 00:13:57,729 Okay, campers! 316 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,479 I'm Reggie, and this here 317 00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:02,031 is my beautiful wife of ten weeks, 318 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,270 Roberta. 319 00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:06,575 No. No flirting, fellas, okay? 320 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,382 She's taken. 321 00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:11,951 Ah, you. 322 00:14:12,026 --> 00:14:14,214 Okay. Well, it is time now 323 00:14:14,281 --> 00:14:16,063 for what we at Camp Straighten Arrow 324 00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:18,927 call reorientation orientation. 325 00:14:19,077 --> 00:14:20,243 - Wordplay! - Reg. 326 00:14:20,268 --> 00:14:22,411 Okay. So... 327 00:14:22,457 --> 00:14:24,359 Did you see, guys, what I did just there? 328 00:14:24,619 --> 00:14:26,521 That... and this... 329 00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:28,609 that's what we don't want. 330 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,696 - Because that didn't feel good. - Mm-mm. 331 00:14:30,721 --> 00:14:32,904 - It didn't feel natural. - Natural. Nope. 332 00:14:32,929 --> 00:14:35,031 Skip, don't turn around and don't say anything. 333 00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:37,962 Are you here to be fixed too? 334 00:14:39,749 --> 00:14:41,411 Your grandpa wants to see you outside. 335 00:14:41,436 --> 00:14:42,774 Now, the important thing 336 00:14:42,899 --> 00:14:44,441 is that we're all gonna have fun. 337 00:14:44,494 --> 00:14:46,516 Yeah. Because... 338 00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:48,328 ♪ We pray, we pray ♪ 339 00:14:48,353 --> 00:14:50,545 ♪ We pray the gay away ♪ 340 00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:52,689 ♪ 'Cause boys like girls and girls like boys ♪ 341 00:14:52,714 --> 00:14:54,056 ♪ And that's what God done say ♪ 342 00:14:54,081 --> 00:14:56,103 ♪ Hey ♪ Okay. 343 00:14:58,418 --> 00:15:00,520 Honey, don't be so hard on yourself. 344 00:15:00,545 --> 00:15:02,192 It was bound to happen. 345 00:15:02,255 --> 00:15:04,367 - Was it? - Yes, Grace. 346 00:15:04,392 --> 00:15:05,632 Crazy things happen 347 00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:08,142 when you ignore you hoo-ha. 348 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,132 It did feel good. 349 00:15:11,238 --> 00:15:13,700 You know, I think I have been denying 350 00:15:13,725 --> 00:15:16,148 a vital part of me. 351 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:19,680 I mean, I am a very sexual woman. 352 00:15:20,981 --> 00:15:22,523 Sure, I don't like to move around 353 00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,312 when I'm doing it, and... 354 00:15:25,526 --> 00:15:26,748 once I got caught eating 355 00:15:26,773 --> 00:15:28,902 a sleeve of Ritz crackers during... 356 00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:34,152 But I am a woman in her sexual prime. 357 00:15:34,209 --> 00:15:37,080 Attagirl. 358 00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:40,395 I am going to put myself back out there. 359 00:15:40,677 --> 00:15:42,980 My marriage died, 360 00:15:43,046 --> 00:15:45,789 but the rest of me didn't. 361 00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:49,079 Did you hear that, Sophia? 362 00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:52,073 I talk to mine too. 363 00:15:52,523 --> 00:15:55,106 What's that, Jan? 364 00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:58,403 I know. Sophia's a domina... shh. 365 00:16:00,191 --> 00:16:01,711 Back in the old days, 366 00:16:01,818 --> 00:16:03,921 they used a shock collar 367 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,014 to curb any unnatural tendencies. 368 00:16:06,058 --> 00:16:07,239 Remember those days, Reg? 369 00:16:07,264 --> 00:16:08,846 Ugh, I sure do. 370 00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:12,198 They were effective, but really unpleasant. 371 00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,067 And besides, look at this thing. 372 00:16:14,092 --> 00:16:15,193 It's like, "Hello!" 373 00:16:15,218 --> 00:16:17,521 Aren't chokers over already?" 374 00:16:17,546 --> 00:16:19,208 Excuse me. I have a question. 375 00:16:19,386 --> 00:16:21,128 Uh, I'm sorry, sir, but, um, but... 376 00:16:21,201 --> 00:16:22,761 but parents aren't allowed in the lodge 377 00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:24,102 for another 20 minutes. 378 00:16:24,127 --> 00:16:25,434 Oh, I... I'm not a parent. 379 00:16:25,459 --> 00:16:27,221 I'm the director of the new conversion camp 380 00:16:27,246 --> 00:16:29,309 across the lake, Camp Kick-a-Mo. 381 00:16:29,436 --> 00:16:30,978 We don't have a lake. 382 00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:33,786 Roberta, let the beautiful man speak. 383 00:16:34,049 --> 00:16:36,071 We at Kick-a-Mo thought it might be fun to have 384 00:16:36,178 --> 00:16:38,081 a friendly competition with the other 385 00:16:38,106 --> 00:16:39,822 conversion therapy camp in the area. 386 00:16:39,847 --> 00:16:41,314 Well, I think I would have heard if there were... 387 00:16:41,339 --> 00:16:43,460 It's a competition, Roberta! 388 00:16:46,897 --> 00:16:48,126 There's no way 389 00:16:48,151 --> 00:16:50,454 you're a better conversion camp. 390 00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:52,283 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 391 00:16:52,308 --> 00:16:55,554 Our success rate is tops in the country. 392 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,522 Plus, all of our counselors 393 00:16:57,547 --> 00:17:00,530 are now certified straight people. 394 00:17:00,698 --> 00:17:02,946 You don't seem that certified, 395 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,684 what, with your dewy skin and your puffed-up basket. 396 00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:12,792 Oh, I'm certified, all right. 397 00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,147 In fact, I could kiss 398 00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:17,685 any male counselor in this camp 399 00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:19,332 and not feel a thing. 400 00:17:19,357 --> 00:17:22,561 - Well, that is the most ridi... - Challenge accepted! 401 00:17:29,109 --> 00:17:31,692 Well, uh, round one was a tie, kids, 402 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,357 but round two is where I'm really gonna... 403 00:17:33,382 --> 00:17:35,004 Oh, God! 404 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:40,043 The point is, this place can't fix you 405 00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:41,730 because you're not broken. 406 00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,232 I'm confused. 407 00:17:43,285 --> 00:17:45,067 Of course you're confused. 408 00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:49,045 So, let me tell you a story about another young man 409 00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,692 who was once confused. 410 00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:53,589 A young man who grew up to be a model citizen 411 00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:55,113 and today is proud 412 00:17:55,138 --> 00:17:57,129 of who and what he is. 413 00:17:57,154 --> 00:18:00,738 People adore this man, 414 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:03,063 not only because of his good looks 415 00:18:03,088 --> 00:18:04,847 and dynamic personality, 416 00:18:04,872 --> 00:18:07,454 but because of his open, loving heart. 417 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,547 - Will? - No, not Will! 418 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,789 Will's a fat lawyer! 419 00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:20,164 Why does that guy make an impression on everyone? 420 00:18:21,756 --> 00:18:23,698 I'm talking about me. 421 00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,611 It was hard for me once, too, 422 00:18:25,636 --> 00:18:27,458 but believe me, it gets better. 423 00:18:27,535 --> 00:18:28,935 I don't see how. 424 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,918 Ugh. Skip... 425 00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:33,325 You are gonna be invited 426 00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,532 to so many good dinner parties. 427 00:18:36,135 --> 00:18:37,795 And there's something else. 428 00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,688 When you get older, you'll understand 429 00:18:39,713 --> 00:18:41,967 that there's the family you were born into 430 00:18:42,129 --> 00:18:43,911 and the family that you choose, 431 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:46,576 and the family I chose... 432 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:50,064 well, it doesn't get any better than that. 433 00:18:50,711 --> 00:18:52,532 But what do I do now? 434 00:18:52,647 --> 00:18:54,229 I don't know. 435 00:18:54,269 --> 00:18:56,992 Your hero, Will, didn't really think this through. 436 00:18:58,734 --> 00:19:01,637 You're just gonna have to be really strong. 437 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,939 It's hard, being me sometimes. 438 00:19:04,006 --> 00:19:05,886 I know, but I'm gonna be there for you 439 00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,372 as much as I can, 440 00:19:07,643 --> 00:19:09,546 and when I'm not, 441 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,868 I want you to picture me in your head, 442 00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:14,412 looking at you like I am right now, 443 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,831 and saying, "You" 444 00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:19,664 are exactly who you're supposed to be." 445 00:19:27,726 --> 00:19:29,076 Made you some hot chocolate. 446 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,023 With those little marshmallows floating on top? 447 00:19:31,048 --> 00:19:32,562 We were out of marshmallows. 448 00:19:32,587 --> 00:19:34,730 Ugh. This day couldn't get any worse. 449 00:19:41,501 --> 00:19:43,763 Hey. Could I speak to Jack? 450 00:19:43,788 --> 00:19:45,290 I don't think that's a great idea. 451 00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:47,497 It's okay, Will. 452 00:19:51,311 --> 00:19:54,175 I spoke to Skip and he told me what you said. 453 00:19:54,355 --> 00:19:56,088 Then I looked around and I saw the camp 454 00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:58,834 for the first time through his eyes. 455 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,550 Made me sick. 456 00:20:01,744 --> 00:20:03,085 I had to get him out of there. 457 00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:04,499 Thank God. 458 00:20:04,533 --> 00:20:05,955 And then... 459 00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,882 In the car, on the way back to the city, 460 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:11,731 Emma and I got into a pretty big fight, and she said, 461 00:20:11,921 --> 00:20:14,252 "Do you really want Skip to end up like Jack?" 462 00:20:14,477 --> 00:20:16,318 And I said, "You mean someone who'd" 463 00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:17,845 "drop everything to 464 00:20:17,888 --> 00:20:20,770 "help someone he cares for live their truth? 465 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:24,049 Yeah, I do." 466 00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:27,165 Anyway, um... 467 00:20:27,278 --> 00:20:29,381 Emma let Skip leave the camp. 468 00:20:29,681 --> 00:20:31,142 So... 469 00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:33,732 I guess that's a first step. 470 00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:36,920 Jack, I know we haven't been 471 00:20:37,009 --> 00:20:39,832 close over the last few years, but 472 00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:42,217 you really do mean a lot to me. 473 00:20:43,970 --> 00:20:45,872 You're my dad. 474 00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:48,353 That means so much. 475 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,903 But in public, you're my brother. 476 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:59,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 477 00:21:00,822 --> 00:21:02,724 So, uh, Skip and I are gonna 478 00:21:02,749 --> 00:21:04,429 hang around the city for the next few days. 479 00:21:04,454 --> 00:21:06,136 I was wondering if you wanna take your grandson 480 00:21:06,161 --> 00:21:08,205 to his first Broadway show. 481 00:21:12,609 --> 00:21:14,811 Please look away. 482 00:21:16,746 --> 00:21:20,250 I don't think a boy should ever see his father cry. 483 00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:21,417 I mean brother. 483 00:21:22,305 --> 00:21:28,309 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles 33853

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.